Lunatic Ravings Archive

If you’re a fan of Stephen Johnson’s Lunatic Ravings column, here’s the Archive of everything he wrote! (There’s a lot here; however, we’re still working on the older archives, as they have to be added one page at a time.)


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Select a year for the list of columns.

  • 02/17 - The Journey To HR, Part 2! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Figured I would hit a nearby store to find something to spray on the back of my pants in case any poop smell was wafting from down there, but discovered…
  • 02/10 - The Journey To HR, Part 1! (by Stephen Johnson)
    When I went to Headquarters so I could speak to our HR Department, is saw a nearby store that sold shelving was hiring so I decided to take the plunge…
  • 02/03 - What’s In My Mouth? (by Stephen Johnson)
    “THEY EAT THEIR OWN POOP WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT! Just like Stephen.” Excuse me? Just discovered a chunk of something in my mouth. Have no idea what it is, went…
  • 01/27 - No Robots, But Fubbles! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Robots? Someone is writing about ROBOTS??!! At least when you come here you know you’ll get full-on reality. Got some Fubbles for the cats, but they really didn’t care much…
  • 01/20 - Elephant Stampede! (by Stephen Johnson)
    It snowed again this week. I had the woman shovel the driveway since I was busy watching “Tarzan Goes To India”. That is all. Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us
  • 01/13 - He Doesn’t Step In For Me……. (by Stephen Johnson)
    So, it snowed here. Figured I might as well make myself useful and shovel a path on the driveway and the sidewalk leading to the front door since I’m expecting…
  • 01/06 - Resolutions And Other Stuff (by Stephen Johnson)
    Well, here I am again. Took a couple weeks off, hung with Bob at Walmart even though the friction between us is at a boiling point. You know, because of…
  • 12/16 - Just In Time For The Holidays…….ANGER! (by Stephen Johnson)
    So angry right now! It’s not that my plan to fill all of Bob’s underpants with talcum powder so that when he’s in court and farts a bit of the…
  • 12/09 - There’s A Problem, Of Course There Is! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Oh, boy! Sometimes things don’t go exactly as planned. Wires must have been crossed since it’s not Russel Crowe that’s interested in playing the pube, but some guy with the…
  • 12/02 - This Is What Happens (Don’t Tell Bob!) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Some of you just might be thinking…… “Well, Bob’s smart, right? If he represents himself in court, he’ll most surely win because he’s…..smart?” I could see why some of you…
  • 11/18 - I Hit Back! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Shhhhhh…….don’t tell Bob. Seems like there’s a lot of interest in the pubic hair story. Word going around is Russell Crowe is very interested in playing the pube. Should be…
  • 11/11 - Someone Thinks It’s All About Him (by Stephen Johnson)
    So, Bob got wind of that call I had with Hollywood and he was none too pleased. “You went behind my back with this? It was my pubic hair!” “Yeah,…
  • 11/04 - Hashing Out Story Ideas! (by Stephen Johnson)
    “So you want to make a movie about a talking pubic hair that goes on a rampage and starts killing teens?” “That’s basically it.” “Kills them at a camp?” “No,…
  • 10/28 - New Opus? (by Stephen Johnson)
    “Seriously?” I asked. “Hollywood has nothing new to offer so they want to make a movie about a rogue pubic hair?” “Not only that, but you need to check this…
  • 10/21 - Done Pummelin’! (by Stephen Johnson)
    I scooped up a chunk vomit from the welcome mat and threw it in Bob’s face. “Yummy,” he said as he forced his way in. “So, what’s this all about?”…
  • 10/14 - No Pummelin’! (by Stephen Johnson)
    I had no idea what the deal was with the pen and paper. “This is getting old. Now what do you want?” I asked. “Oh, you know,” he replied while…
  • 10/07 - Even Less Pummelin’! (by Stephen Johnson)
    I could tell the the barracuda was quite angry by the way it thrashed around. “Jeez, what do you want now?” I asked. “Oh, you know,” he replied while trying…
  • 10/01 - Less Pummelin’! (by Stephen Johnson)
    That barrel of kittens was positively cute. “What do you want now?” I asked with no feeling whatsoever. “Oh, you know,” he replied brandishing the barrel in a gentle yet…
  • 09/23 - More Pummelin’! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Those boomerangs were suggestively sharpened. “W-w-w-w-w-w-hat do you want?” I asked with tonally abject fear. “Oh, you know,” he replied brandishing those boomerangs in a stunningly objective way. Suddenly there…
  • 09/17 - Pummelin’! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Those butter knives were positively gleaming. “W-w-w-w-w-w-hat do you want?” I asked with totally abject fear. “Oh, you know,” he replied brandishing those knives in a brutally obtuse way. Suddenly…
  • 09/10 - Transplantin’! (by Stephen Johnson)
    The year was 1971. I had just seen a documentary film in a local theater that got me to thinking about stuff that I could file away for future use.…
  • 09/02 - I Fess Up! (by Stephen Johnson)
    If you read Bob’s latest (and who does), he mentions us going someplace in Illinois to check out a water tower where I came up with the brilliant idea to…
  • 08/26 - I’m Not Gone (Or Daid) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Hello! Stephen here. Yes, I’m alive. I took the week off from writing a column since there was something I needed to take care of. Less than 15 minutes after…
  • 08/13 - RIP Jerome (by Stephen Johnson)
    It is with a heavy heart that we share the rather amusing news of Jerome’s sudden and tragically comic passing. We have plenty of words to express the bearable loss…
  • 08/05 - Testing Paused! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Had to take a slight pause on my money-making venture. Since I didn’t want to do what Jerome requested, he went ahead and did it himself. Now, because he doesn’t…
  • 07/29 - The First Test (by Stephen Johnson)
    Before that idea from last week starts churning out the $$$, testing needs to be done. In comes Jerome!!!! I just had to give him a call, mention Ho Hos…
  • 07/22 - I…..Have…..An……Idea Again! (by Stephen Johnson)
    This will make some serious money! All we’ll need is a bus, a case or two of Ho Hos and the quickest route to Philadelphia. We’ll drive around Philly until…
  • 07/15 - I Correct Bob. Again. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Good ole Bob! Getting something I said completely wrong. AGAIN! If you read his last column, he claims I said this: “Buy a gun and commit crimes. I heard there’s…
  • 07/07 - See, What Happened Was….. (by Stephen Johnson)
    I missed posting last week…… See, what happened was this: The lady decided she needed to get away from me for awhile so I decided that it would be a…
  • 06/24 - I Get These Thoughts……. (by Stephen Johnson)
    “If there’s a writers’ strike, why do I still have to write something every week?” “Because you, dear sir, are NOT a writer!” There were five things I had to…
  • 06/17 - What Happened At The Verizon Store? (by Stephen Johnson)
    What happened at the Verizon store? Glad you asked. She was pretty mellow on the driver over, but when they told us that they could not change ownership at the…
  • 06/10 - Maybe When She Gets Ill? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Would tell you about what happened at the Verizon store, but that will just have to wait. The woman is now fine. Her “episode” lasted until Wednesday of this week…
  • 06/03 - She Went Insane (by Stephen Johnson)
    The lady of the house went insane watching “Judge Judy” so now we have to go to the Verizon store and switch ownership. Don’t know why she went insane watching…
  • 05/27 - Now I’m A Fan I Guess? (by Stephen Johnson)
    “I take a seat, it’s a tight fit…….”. That’s pretty funny. It’s not like Bob CAN’T fit nicely into a cat litter box, no matter its size. See, he’s a…
  • 05/20 - Long Movies Are Great! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Bob’s in jail! All because of me!! See, Bob wrote a “sitcom” last week and that’s a big no-no because of the strike. Now he’s in writer’s jail! Some people…
  • 05/13 - Watched Two More (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lost the use of arms for a bit this past week, so decided to watch “Rocky 3” and “Rocky Vs. Drago” even though I still had most of my face…
  • 05/06 - Movies That Make Me Cry (by Stephen Johnson)
    I was playing around with the chip app this past week, forcing Bob to watch only news channels and then I fell asleep. When I woke up around 2 pm,…
  • 04/29 - Did It REALLY Happen Or Was It…………The Chip App??!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    If you read Bob’s last post (and why wouldn’t you?), you can see that the chip in his head is working just fine! He never fell down a sump pump…
  • 04/22 - Rescued!!! What Really Happened! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Go ahead and read Bob’s last post, “Rescued!!!” Now I’m going to tell you about my little secret or two from that night. This was the night that Bob told…
  • 04/15 - Charlie Is Brilliant! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Let’s see…. A zebra punched someone.A train exploded.Apparently, Mario went there about two weeks ago. Charlie is obviously onto something here, something that Bob JUST DOESN’T GET. It’s an extended…
  • 04/08 - The Fizzlewhite Contradiction (by Stephen Johnson)
    “Why?” I sometimes ask myself as I look at the kitchen window. It’s just a mailbox. Everyone else on our street has a mailbox. I don’t see it happening to…
  • 04/01 - Feral Kids? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Yes, I did go on a visit last week. I had to see why this site suddenly got an influx of new visitors during the last few weeks. Part of…
  • 03/25 - Speakers And Moist, Moist, Moist (by Stephen Johnson)
    The speakers attached to my computer decided not to work this morning. This frustrated me so much so that I went to to the kitchen just so I could stare…
  • 03/18 - Musings Part 202 (by Stephen Johnson)
    “Need to close program” in order for it to update. But it IS closed. Eh, I’ll just exclude it. No big deal. What’s could possibly go wrong? Last year I…
  • 03/11 - What DID Happen To Chuck Cunningham? (The Answer Might Surprise You) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Nope, Chuck Cunningham never did go to Minnesota State, but he did join the USAF and was killed by his woman friend because he was afraid of snakes. “Happy Days”…
  • 03/04 - We Got Snow! (by Stephen Johnson)
    We got around 8.5 inches of snow yesterday afternoon/evening. It was the really wet & heavy stuff so it was really fun taking care of it this morning. Don’t believe…
  • 02/25 - About The Dance For Safety (by Stephen Johnson)
    I might have mentioned this years ago in one of my other “blogs”, but I think it’s time for a reiteration! If you’re at a party or a gathering and…
  • 02/18 - Live Or AI? (by Stephen Johnson)
    I’ve been thinking that taking the time to come up with thoughts and then turning those thoughts into halfway readable words and ideas for this here site just takes up…
  • 02/11 - Maybe Looking For A New Car (by Stephen Johnson)
    “Strange Days” was on one of those premium channels a couple days ago. I didn’t watch it since I’m still waiting on my thank you note from the movie company.…
  • 02/04 - About That Balloon! (by Stephen Johnson)
    About that balloon….. Okay, I really have nothing to say about that balloon. Just know that it was shot down and that it was pretty big and that it will…
  • 01/28 - Proofread??!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    “We knew that a that a star had been discovered…..” Yep, I let that one slide by in my last column. Maybe I was so happy that the “T” works…
  • 01/21 - The Day A New Star Was Discovered (by Stephen Johnson)
    For some reason, I remember 10/6/95 quite vividly. Well, there really is a reason why and I’m going to tell you about it with the following typed words! Just another…
  • 01/14 - I Finally Did It! (by Stephen Johnson)
    I know most of you have been waiting for THE BIG NEWS. It’s been going on for awhile now and some of you have even been sitting on the edge…
  • 01/07 - This Might Sound Familiar (by Stephen Johnson)
    Huh. Didn’t know we were required to write our columns even during the holiday season. Just found that out, but it really makes no difference since I had a very…
  • 12/17 - I Guess This Is About Movies? (by Stephen Johnson)
    I kind of read Bob’s last post and it reminded me of something….. No, not how he ripped off “Planet Of The Apes”. (By the way, I still haven’t replaced…
  • 12/10 - I’ve Been Fined! (by Stephen Johnson)
    No, I sure didn’t meet my word quota last week. What’s even worse is that I took time off the previous week, so corporate expected me to submit something last…
  • 12/03 - An Update (by Stephen Johnson)
    Just to update you on my birthday week menu, everything worked out until Friday. I didn’t have what I listed, had Subway instead as well as Cheez-Its. Saturday none of…
  • 11/19 - What I Shall Eat During My Birthday Week (by Stephen Johnson)
    It’s strange…. There’s quite a few people out there that want to know what I’m going to eat during my birthday week. I can’ let hem down, so here goes!…
  • 11/12 - I Muse (by Stephen Johnson)
    Talking about leaves as Bob did, I just use a lawnmower. That way, I don’t have to pick up anything. Just proves that he knows nothing so you might as…
  • 11/05 - Wait…Bob Watches Ads? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Reading Bob’s last post, I was struck by something. It was a hot pot of tea that my lady threw at me because I forgot to take out the garbage.…
  • 10/29 - My Halloween Gift To You (That Took A Really, Really Long Time To Do) (by Stephen Johnson)
    All work and no play makes Stephen a dull boy. All work and no play makes Stephen a dull boy. All work and no play makes Stephen a dull boy.…
  • 10/22 - We Got A New Garage Door Opener!!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    The garage door guy had no idea why the light on the garage door opener kept blinking. He even called around to find out what was going on, but nobody…
  • 10/15 - What Else You Should Know That Management Forgot (by Stephen Johnson)
    In Bob’s post from 10/9, management decided to crack down on his shenanigans. However, they did not mention one of the most important tidbits of info that everyone MUST know.…
  • 10/08 - My Latest Haircut (by Stephen Johnson)
    I got one of those haircut things this weekend. Went to my hairdresser who works out of her home. Drove over there and got there in good time since traffic…
  • 10/01 - Why I Didn’t Post Anything Last Week (by Stephen Johnson)
    Got an email from corporate last week wondering why I didn’t post anything. So, I pulled the ole Luther card with an “I’ve been busy!” I even mentioned the name…
  • 09/17 - All Because Of A Doll? (by Stephen Johnson)
    I don’t know where the darn doll is! Seems that since the Queen is dead, a certain Madame Alexander doll is selling for quite a high price. Also seems that…
  • 09/10 - The Real DJ Story (by Stephen Johnson)
    Bob’s latest columns are all about lies. Considering his age, disco wasn’t even a thing when he was in high school. Neither was funk. Nope. He basically stole the story…
  • 09/03 - Labor Day Weekend Post! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Since it’s Labor Day weekend, I technically don’t have to write anything since it’s a holiday. So I won’t. But you still read it, you fool! Share on Facebook Tweet…
  • 08/27 - We Have Too Many Ladders (by Stephen Johnson)
    As I sat in garage pondering life and other stuff, I noticed that we have too many ladders. We once had four. Two small ones and two large ones. I…
  • 08/20 - Musings And Jerome (by Stephen Johnson)
    There are probably people wondering about Jerome and why all that stuff happened. I just need to make it very clear that Jerome was not forced into anything. Never has…
  • 08/13 - Ad Free Version This Week (by Stephen Johnson)
    Well, that didn’t last long. Corporate wasn’t too happy with my ad placements and “tone”. For now all ads have been yanked from me which is really upsetting since I…
  • 08/06 - An Amendunum (Made Up Word!) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Wow. Some online help ya sites are just mean. Guess I didn’t follow their strict rules last week so we didn’t get paid. This reminds me when “Crocodile Dundee” came…
  • 07/30 - The Present (by Stephen Johnson)
    Guess I’ll just talk about the present this week. I did remember something from our glorious past earlier this week, but forgot what it was. Must be age catching up…
  • 07/24 - I Try And Save Your Childhood (No Thanks To Bob) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Found a way to make money for this site! Learned it from listening to podcasts, so let us begin. Bob’s latest post is supposedly part two of his ramblings, but…
  • 07/17 - I Gots Lotsa Screens (by Stephen Johnson)
    Instead of defending poppa and how he made Omaha the “city” it is today, I must take the time to talk to a person or two. Hey, guys (or gals).…
  • 07/09 - I Ruin Bob’s Starla Story (Because I Can) (by Stephen Johnson)
    I want to ruin Bob’s story about Starla and tell you what happened to her. It probably won’t ruin his whole story, but the end will most definitely be ruined.…
  • 06/25 - Now You’ll Know Where George Got His Idea (by Stephen Johnson)
    Skim Bob’s column about how we met and you’ll notice something strange yet familiar. Those that have swell reading retention might notice that a certain motion picture from the 80’s…
  • 06/18 - Kids These Days. Sheesh! (by Stephen Johnson)
    This past Tuesday a couple kids decided to sell lemonade at the end of their driveway which just so happened to be directly across the street from me. You know,m…
  • 06/12 - Baking Lasagna And Wasting Our Time (by Stephen Johnson)
    I’m currently baking lasagna so have time to waste. Yours AND mine! For those wondering, this is NOT made from scratch. If it was, that would mean that I would…
  • 06/04 - Maybe It Was Me? (by Stephen Johnson)
    I had some interesting things to tell all you folks last week but something happened so I didn’t tell you anything at all. We have a storage shed located somewhere…
  • 05/21 - See? I Wasn’t Lying! (by Stephen Johnson)
    There’s been some people claiming that I’m making up all this stuff about us being in business well before the internet. Luckily for all of you doubters, Bob posted some…
  • 05/14 - Let’s Make The Dandelion A Flower And Other Crap (by Stephen Johnson)
    Well, I got around 50 minutes of my life back since two shows that I watch(ed) were cancelled. Can I replace those shows with another show or shows? Sure. But…
  • 05/07 - Thanks, Crest! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Was going to go to the way back machine again but accidentally saw a commercial that really bugged the heck out of me. Basically, it told the story of a…
  • 04/30 - No Shortages With Coke (by Stephen Johnson)
    In 1986 we finally got a copier! It cost quite a bit of money back then but price didn’t matter to us since we were using the cocaine. We might…
  • 04/23 - We Have New Neighbors! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Didn’t notice until today that we have new neighbors! Should have figured it out when there wasn’t a temporary barricade built in the fall season so any leaves in our…
  • 04/16 - Wait! What’s With This New Chick Shit For Chic Chicks? (by Stephen Johnson)
    I just noticed something. Someone is pretending to be Melissa Paternik. Someone has stolen her fine name and has been submitting posts to “Chick Shit For Chic Chicks” claiming to…
  • 04/09 - Somebody Stole My Radio (by Stephen Johnson)
    “Somebody stole my radio.” I found that old chestnut in one of the print versions of TheWeirdcrap! Guess during that time I drank heavily. Seems that I went to a…
  • 04/02 - Recall/No Recall (by Stephen Johnson)
    I don’t recall writing a column about Eggeberg Humptydink back in 1967 as stated by Bob. I also do not remember writing that blurb about Kiss in 1974, also stated…
  • 03/26 - A New Email And Some Old Stuff (by Stephen Johnson)
    I got this email regarding my “No X 100” post from 3/19/22. Ahem. “I have no idea what your last post is about…is there a second part that explains it…
  • 03/19 - No X 100 (by Stephen Johnson)
    No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no…
  • 03/12 - Those Dog Days (by Stephen Johnson)
    Eh. Go ahead and read Bob’s column from 3/7/22. When I saw the first paragraph and a picture was mentioned, I went into full-on panic mode. Thankfully Bob is still…
  • 03/05 - A Trip Down Memory Lane (by Stephen Johnson)
    I remember when The Weirdcrap existed before the internet. Many, MANY years ago this began. We didn’t know what a computer was so we scrawled stuff on paper with crayons…
  • 02/26 - The Jerome Saga Part Whatever: The Quickening (by Stephen Johnson)
    I don’t know what happened, but Jerome laid down some hard truth on me. Seems that if I write about what’s going on with Bob and him, then the whole…
  • 02/13 - Jerome Doesn’t Want To Live There Anymore (by Stephen Johnson)
    There was another phone call. “Hello?” “Jerome? Again?” “You’ve gotta help me.” “Geez, what now?” “Bob found me after I called you. He took me to his home. Then he…
  • 02/05 - The OTHER Return Of Jerome (by Stephen Johnson)
    It all started with a phone call.“What??!!”“Is this Stephen Johnson?”“Let’s pretend it is. Who’s this?”“It’s Jerome, I need your help. They’re after me!”“Sure, Jerome. Sure they are.”“You gotta come get…
  • 01/29 - Wait. Did He Mention Jerome? (by Stephen Johnson)
    If you read the latest column from Bob (mostly filled with lies, as usual) and made it to the very, very end, you might have noticed what’s coming next from…
  • 01/22 - Adventures in Truck Driving Part V: Really Hopeful This Is It Final Boogaloo (by Stephen Johnson)
    Sometimes you forget something. That’s what I did, so hopefully this is truly the last of this nonsense. Forgot that Bob, when getting chased by those children of the corn,…
  • 01/15 - Adventures in Truck Driving Part IV: The Really Final Total Insult (by Stephen Johnson)
    There was that one night when I was sleeping, a really nice, deep sleep. Probably the first time in ages I was having a sleep not induced by alcohol. Sleeping…
  • 01/08 - No List, Partial Truck Driving Story Kind Of, Bob’s A Liar (by Stephen Johnson)
    For the last 60 years or so, I’ve done top ten lists for movies, music, tv shows, fashion trends, electronics, fast food, slow food, food and vegetables for the previous…
  • 12/11 - Another Short One Since There’s A Mystery Sale! (by Stephen Johnson)
    HA! He had Fox News taken from him. That’s pretty funny. If he was like me, he wouldn’t watch the news. It’s better to not know what’s going on. Then,…
  • 12/04 - If You Want To Know, ASK BOB! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Can’t pick on Bob this week since he’s out $300. That would be……..rude? Don’t know why he wouldn’t want to go to jail for a few days though. Watch tv,…
  • 11/20 - Sleepy Bob? I Think Not! (by Stephen Johnson)
    So…….. In Bob’s latest (he does one column a MONTH??!!) he claims that people called him “Sleepy Bob” whenever he smoked the marijuana. That’s not true at all. They called…
  • 11/13 - Breaking The Hacks On The Internet Broken Now How? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Since my Hollywood career is currently at a standstill, my next big thing is to break the internet. I see all these headlines about how so-and-so broke the internet because…
  • 11/06 - This Is Going To Be A Waste Of Our Time (by Stephen Johnson)
    Just 27 kids for Halloween this year. It used to be more (even last year), but I guess it’s either a thing of the past or there’s just less kids.…
  • 10/30 - That Didn’t Go Well (by Stephen Johnson)
    Well, they WERE intrigued. Had outlined more stuff that would mesh in well and took a red-eye to the next state over for a meeting with the money people. Didn’t…
  • 10/23 - Hollywood Bound? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Someone from somewhere sent me an email stating that they really liked my spaghetti in a bar bowl idea very much and want to meet up with me to discuss…
  • 10/16 - This Would Be Funny, Am I Right? (by Stephen Johnson)
    I was watching a movie recently, forget what it was but it was horror since it’s October. Right? There was a scene in a bar and there was a basket…
  • 10/09 - Bob Is Using John Bender All Wrong! (by Stephen Johnson)
    There’s a certain time and place to use a picture of John Bender. Bob does not understand that certain time and place. He posted something on Facebook that included the…
  • 10/02 - Hey, It’s October! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Hey, it’s October! I have nothing more to add to that. It’s just a fact that I thought you would be interested in. If you’re not reading this in October,…
  • 09/25 - No Dream, No Return, No Rust (by Stephen Johnson)
    A while ago, when my palatial estate was getting fumigated since I had an abundance of black widow spiders and ocelots roaming around the house, I asked Bob if I…
  • 09/18 - Those Stupid Things They Do Are Stupid (by Stephen Johnson)
    I heard from someone somewhere about a new program or something that the kids today are posting moving pictures of them doing things and making other people join in the…
  • 09/12 - Fresher Than Bob’s! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Noticed that Bob posted his column on Saturday so that he could TRY to divert the attention to him. What a fool. Since I’m posting this Sunday afternoon, mine’s fresher.…
  • 09/04 - Where’s Bob? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Noticed that Bob hasn’t posted for awhile and, because I care, I called him to find out what was going on. He was upset that another challenge was out there,…
  • 08/28 - It’s Just Horrible! (by Stephen Johnson)
    I remember the time a neighborhood kid came over to my house and asked if I wanted to see a dead body. I told him I couldn’t since I was…
  • 08/21 - Nothing New Here (Or Is There?) (by Stephen Johnson)
    I’m not writing anything new this week. Instead, I’m going to try and remember who Sally the throw up girl was. I vaguely remember her. Drinking was involved? Then vomit?…
  • 08/14 - Beware Of Propeller (by Stephen Johnson)
    Today reminds me of that time I was talking to someone about the latest episode of “Car 54, Where Are You?”. Right behind them was a sign on a building…
  • 08/07 - Again, That Was A Roadtrip???? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Interesting column from Bob. You know, the one he was forced to write. Did you notice that they did not stop at one rest area? How can you call it…
  • 07/31 - That Was A Roadtrip Column??!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Hahahaha! Looks like Bob TRIED to write a roadtrip column and miserably failed. Go ahead and give it a read. I’ll wait. See what I mean? Where’s the actual roadtrip?…
  • 07/26 - Test, test, test (by Stephen Johnson)
    I guess there’s a new way to submit my posts, so I’m going to test this out. Cabin down south, it’s haunted, Bob screamed like a little girl and ran…
  • 07/17 - Sweet Freedom! NO BOB!!!!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Bob isn’t around this week. Supposedly he has a cabin down south in the deep, deep woods and he’s hiding out for a bit. What does this mean? It means…
  • 07/11 - Bunnies (by Stephen Johnson)
    I got a shot recently. For…….something. After the shot, I was told to sit down on THE bench for 15 minutes, just to make sure I was going to be…
  • 07/03 - This Post Also Has No Title (Until Now) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Bob didn’t post anything last week. Do you want to know why? He’s having a My Little Pony crisis. His favorite MLP shirt, the “Best Ponies” one, now has a…
  • 06/28 - This Post Has No Title (Until Now) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Read Bob’s last thing that he wrote. Something about how we met. Didn’t get to the end of it. Didn’t want to. Too many tears in mine eyes. From that…
  • 06/19 - Phone Call (by Stephen Johnson)
    Actual phone conversation from 6/14/21: “You need to get a Facebook account.” “Why?” “Research says we need to hit social media in order to make money.” “Wait…..we make money?” “Well…….”…
  • 06/12 - Another Post From Me With Truth As An Added Bonus (by Stephen Johnson)
    Seems like Bob is trying to cause some problems. First, I NEVER said that he should sell the site to an investment firm. I told him that his buttocks were…
  • 06/04 - Okay then…… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Wow. Someone at corporate did not like last week’s post. They stated that no thought went into it at all, whatsoever. Then they went on to say that my post…
  • 05/30 - A New Post From Me (by Stephen Johnson)
    So……………………………….. Ok, that’s my post for the week! Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us
  • 05/22 - Hello. Again. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lunatic Ravings Well, it’s been around three years since I last posted. Due to contractual obligations, I have to post more stuff. But I’m okay with that. During these past…
  • 04/16 - I Want a Title!!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    (originally posted on 08/23/2011) Accept—Blind Rage MoTW—The Pom Pom Girls For those new to this column, my name is Stephen Johnson. I am the…………… Wait. What the hell am I…
  • 05/19 - This Might Be For Real (by Stephen Johnson)
    Well, it’s been a long time since this has been updated. The last time was August of 2016 so you would think that something serious was going on in my…
  • 03/29 - A Mention Or Bacon Pizza With Gutters And Pink Balls? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Pat Travers—Retro Rocket MoTW—Fury While farting around on the internet looking for a local Little Caesar’s because I had an urge for 3 1/2 feet of bacon, I visited Metsblog…
  • 02/07 - Wise Words Or A Coverup? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Blind Guardian—Beyond The Red Mirror MoTW—Deliver Us From Evil Many years ago, when I was an impressionable youth, a wise person spoke to me me and gave me very profound…
  • 12/20 - Oh, The Pity (by Stephen Johnson)
    Harem Scarem—Thirteen MoTW—Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead As I look back at this past year, it has dawned on me that nothing really happened. Is that possible? Nothing happened…
  • 11/01 - Meandering Fall Thoughts About Stuff (by Stephen Johnson)
    Devin Townsend Project–Sky Blue MoTW–The Final Terror Check it out! My complaint must have been received by the correct people since there’s a nifty new background here! It screams “2014”,…
  • 10/04 - I Don’t Like SOME Geeks (by Stephen Johnson)
    Amplifier–Mystoria MoTW–Malibu Beach A couple weeks ago, someone from corporate sent me an email asking if I wanted a design on my column. I immediately wrote back stating that I…
  • 07/05 - I Have No Title For This, But I’m Back (Again)! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Rival Sons—Great Western Valkyrie MoTW—Maniac Cop 3 April? I haven’t posting anything since April? What in the hell is wrong with me? Wow. I knew I was taking a couple…
  • 04/19 - …..As I Continue (by Stephen Johnson)
    Space Elevator–Space Elevator MoTW–Electra Glide In Blue Reading over my last post, I noticed I made a few mistakes. I shall now correct them. The corrections are shown in capital…
  • 03/01 - And I struggle….. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Within Temptation—Hydra MoTW—You’re Next Sigh. I keep promising and then let everyone down. it’s to be expected, though. I’ve been doing that my whole life, so why should I change…
  • 01/11 - Life With Squirrels (by Stephen Johnson)
    Roger Taylor–Fun On Earth MoTW–The Lone Ranger So it went as I prepared myself assimilate myself into squirrel culture. I said my farewells to my loved ones. I thought this…
  • 12/21 - I’m Back! Where Was I? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Focus–X MoTW–Lawrence Of Arabia Yep, it’s been awhile since I last posted. Yep, there’s a darn good reason. See, I was tired of sitting around, basically doing nothing but watching…
  • 09/28 - Cresent Fresh Is A Lie! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Dream Theater–Dream Theater MoTW–Clue For the last few weeks, I have been pondering this “Cresent Fresh” thing. I’ve been pondering it so much, I haven’t had time to write anything…
  • 08/10 - I’m NOT Cresent Fresh? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Diesel–Watts In A Tank MoTW–I Saw The Devil This is the time of the year where I share with everyone my latest roadtrip shenanigans. Yet, you’re going to be left…
  • 07/20 - The Saga Of The Fallen Tree. Well, Not A Saga. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Pat Travers Band—Can Do MoTW—Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters A few months ago (has it been that long?), I was busy in the basement doing some stuff. Some of you…
  • 06/01 - I Know? Or Do I Not? Know? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Black Star Riders–All Hell Breaks Loose MoTW–The Divide Well, there goes my fun. My jeans experience was not as well received as the previous sneakers experience. This leads me to…
  • 04/20 - I Bought New Jeans! (by Stephen Johnson)
    David Bowie–The Next Day MoTW—Evil Dead (2013) Wow. The response from my last opus, “An Issue With Sneaker”, was so overwhelming that I decided to let it hang around for…
  • 03/09 - An Issue With Sneakers (by Stephen Johnson)
    S.U.N.—Something Unto Nothing MoTW—Brave I don’t consider myself a cheap kinda guy, but when it comes to sneakers it’s a different story. I’m happy spending $25-$30 on sneakers. As long…
  • 02/02 - What A Mistake This Was (by Stephen Johnson)
    Helloween—Straight Out Of Hell MoTW—Seven Psychopaths What’s this infatuation with cat litter? Today was the last day for Best Buy’s “Upgrade And Save” program in which you bring in a…
  • 01/12 - I Get A Job (by Stephen Johnson)
    Last Crack–Sinister Funkhouse #17 MoTW—Dredd Eventually it was going to happen. There’s only so long a guy can sit in his basement every day eating pretzels filled with peanut butter,…
  • 12/15 - I Is Back! Where Did I Go? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Warrior—The Code Of Life MoTW—Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale Wow, it’s like I’ve been in a coma or something. I mean, over a MONTH since my last post? What the…
  • 11/03 - And My Political Views Are…… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Tygers Of Pan Tang–Ambush MoTW–The Dictator So it’s election time again. Yawn. What’s the big deal? Everyone is so gung ho about THEIR pick, yet they usually hate them in…
  • 10/20 - Just Another Bad Day. Sigh. (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Outlaws–It’s About Pride MoTW—Deep Rising Yesterday morning I was sitting at home, doing nothing much except staring blankly at the tv and watching whatever show was on. Then my…
  • 10/06 - I Prepare For The Apocalypse? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Devin Townsend Project—Epicloud MoTW—The Cabin In The Woods You know it’s getting close to the end of the world, right? It’s just a couple months away….. Yeah, I forgot about…
  • 09/22 - Something About Nothing Since That’s What I Have To Write About (by Stephen Johnson)
    In This Moment—Blood MoTW–Dead Hooker In A Trunk You know (or maybe you don’t), what started off as fun just isn’t fun anymore. It seemed exciting at first and now…
  • 09/08 - I’m Pathetic (With 8 FB Friends) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Saga–20/20 MoTW–Papillon We received an invitation to an “End Of Summer” party a few weeks ago from the folks that live behind us. Considering that the end of summer is…
  • 08/25 - It’s Official. No Friends! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Fozzy–Sin And Bones MoTW–Jaws So I joined Facebook as I think I mentioned a couple weeks ago. Thought it would be a great way to meet up with friends, and…
  • 08/10 - The 2012 Roadtrip All In One Sitting! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Testament—Dark Roots Of Earth MoTW—[REC] 2 Well, another roadtrip is done. Luckily for you, I don’t have to waste a couple months explaining what went on. Why? Because absolutely nothing…
  • 07/21 - My Upcoming Plans (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Cult—Choice Of Weapon MoTW—Lockout I took a break today from packing just to keep all of you updated on what’s going on in my life. For those new here,…
  • 07/14 - Olives and….the Prius? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Asia—XXX MoTW—Martyrs I was going to write about olives this week, but then I read Bob’s latest and it got me to wondering….. Anyway, back to the olives. I asked…
  • 06/30 - I’m Too Sexy To Be Cuttin’ The Grass (by Stephen Johnson)
    Tyketto—Dig In Deep MoTW—21 Jump Street Don’t know what it is, but I must look really sexy when I cut the grass. Think I’ve mentioned this before and if I…
  • 06/23 - I Think This Is An Apology (by Stephen Johnson)
    Joe Walsh—Analog Man MoTW—Prometheus For some reason I keep slacking off and not delivering as I should. Believe me (or not) but every week I have the fulled intention to…
  • 06/02 - I Do A Good Deed! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Firewind—Few Against Many MoTW—Piranha 3DD Well, my “fact finding” mission Texas is over. For those wondering what I’m talking about, it’s all about Bob and having him legally put to…
  • 05/19 - So He Wants To Be A Hero? Fine! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Ian Anderson—TAAB2 MoTW—Triangle Yeah, I know. You’ve been waiting and waiting for me to keep posting the rest of the interview, just to get the damn thing over with. Well,…
  • 04/28 - The Interview Continues WIth Limited Interruptions! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Accept—Stalingrad: Brothers In Death MoTW—A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas It’s been awhile since I last posted (at least I do), but there’s been a few bad things that have…
  • 04/07 - The Interview: Interrupted Again (by Stephen Johnson)
    Jack Blades—Rock ‘N Roll Ride MoTW—Metropolis So it seemed like I was making headway with the interview, but somehowgot sidetracked and started writing about myself. Kind if selfish, Ithink. This…
  • 03/24 - The Interview! Well….. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Picture—Warhorse MoTW—Battle Royale Yes, yes, yes. I know. The interview. Luckily for you it’s THAT week, THAT week where you finally get to readthe interview. The interview you’ve all been…
  • 03/11 - The Inter…Oops, I Did It Again! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lillian Axe—XI: The Days Before Tomorrow MoTW—Blubberella Will get to the promised interview shortly, but first…. Had to get new glasses. Just felt like the time was right for brandspankin’…
  • 02/25 - The Interview! Oops, I Mean….. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Van Halen—A Different Kind Of Truth MoTW—The Thing (2011) Always one to deliver on what I promise, I present to you that interviewwith Bob! I ask the hard questions and…
  • 02/04 - Maturity? Really? (by Stephen Johnson)
    City Boy—Book Early MoTW—Cowboys & Aliens Just got done reading Bob’s latest antics and I must say that I amtotally depressed. From what I read, he’s a complete klutz and….mature?…
  • 01/22 - Why Not? I Answer Email! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lacuna Coil—Dark Adrenaline MoTW—Fright Night (2011) It’s been awhile since I answered any email so I’ve figured now is asgood a time as any. I do read every email I…
  • 01/07 - Top Ten Of 2011 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Kip Winger—From The Earth To The Sun MoTW—Shaft It’s been three weeks since I’ve written something new? Wow! Kinda makes sense I suppose. Two weeks ago it was Xmas eve…
  • 12/17 - My Xmas Present To The World (by Stephen Johnson)
    Jane Wiedlin—Jane Wiedlin MoTW—Red State I really wanted to write something last week, but couldn’t. I was allprepared, had some thought, was wearing my writin’ clothes but then itwas all…
  • 12/03 - The Truth Plus A Special Gift (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Tea Party—The Interzone Mantras MoTW—Tucker & Dale vs. Evil While I must thank Bob for thinking about me when the woman left mealone a couple weekends ago, I think…
  • 11/19 - Guess I’m Really Not Thankful (by Stephen Johnson)
    Alice Cooper—Welcome 2 My Nightmare MoTW—Black Death So it’s that time of the year again. Time for Black Friday and mybirthday. Oh, and Thanksgiving. Luckily for everyone, my birthday just…
  • 11/12 - Maybe I’m Not A Bad Person? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Iced Earth—Dystopia MoTW—From Paris, With Love Ah-ha! I knew it! I FUCKING KNEW IT! Scam column from Bob, just as I figured. It proves something, I’m justnot sure what. Maybe…
  • 11/05 - The 2011 Roadtrip: The Conclusion! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Megadeth—Th1rt3en MoTW—Sharktopus So it’s now a Wednesday in August and our roadtrip has to continue. Therefore, we woke up sometime in the morning and I watched some tvwhile the woman…
  • 10/22 - The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 8 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Blondie—Panic Of Girls MoTW—The Saint (Note 1: Yes, this keeps going. I really, really want this to end and Ihave every intention of ending it but then I get quite…
  • 10/08 - The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 7 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Anthrax—Worship Music MoTW—The China Syndrome Monday, whatever date it is. Again I woke up early, around 6, grabbed a Diet Dew, smokes and my bookand went outside to do my…
  • 10/01 - The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 6 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Chickenfoot—III MoTW—Hatchet II “This is delicious.” It’s Sunday night and we’re eating dinner (steak and other stuff) andthat’s all the woman can say. Time after time after time after time…..…
  • 09/24 - The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 5 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Opeth—Heritage MoTW—Night Of The Demons (2010) What’s funny is when I asked the desk clerk at the hotel how far BestBuy was, they made it seem like it was quite…
  • 09/17 - The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 4 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Dream Theater—A Dramatic Turn Of Events MoTW—Drones (Wow, this sucks In Bob’s latest column he MAKES FUN of Omaha and I’mdoing my thing here and can’t really do a retort.…
  • 09/03 - The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 3 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Devin Townsend Project—Ghost MoTW—Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (Note: For those that care, in the last column I mistakenly used thedate of 7/31 when it should have been…
  • 08/27 - The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 2 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Electric Boys—And Them Boys Done Swang MoTW—Paul So, after 1 pm on July 31st 2011, I didn’t write anything in my journal. Why? Well, I was under the assumption that…
  • 08/11 - The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 1 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Devin Townsend Project—Deconstruction MoTW—The Great Texas Dynamite Chase As mentioned and threatened in my last post (three weeks ago?!), it isthat time of the year for me to share with…
  • 07/23 - It’s That Time Again! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Yes—Fly From Here MoTW—Doghouse Well, it’s that time of the year again! Time for us to prepare us for the annual roadtrip. Time for you to prepare for a couple…
  • 07/09 - A Quest For An Answer: The Finale (by Stephen Johnson)
    Symphony X—Iconoclast MoTW—Sucker Punch My plan was simple: I would stare at Bob long enough to make him crazyedgy and then he would have no choice but to fess up…
  • 06/25 - A Quest For An Answer: Part 3 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Black Country Communion—2 MoTW—Conquest Thinking it was gun, I ducked and then bobbed and weaved for awhile,figuring (yet again) that he wouldn’t be stable enough to hit somethingthat was ducking,…
  • 06/11 - A Quest For An Answer: Part 2 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Stevie Nicks—In Your Dreams MoTW—The Mutant Chronicles So there we were, me shouting “HAYOO!” and the horse and donkey hoovesmaking that clippity-cloppity noise we all know and love as thestagecoach…
  • 06/04 - A Quest For An Answer: Part 1 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Black Stone Cherry—Between The Devil & The Deep Blue Sea MoTW—The Last Exorcism I feel pretty bad not posting something the last couple of weeks, butit’s really not my fault.…
  • 05/14 - Roadtrip Roadblock? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Uriah Heep—Into The Wild MoTW—Furry Vengeance This is the time of year that I set aside some time to think about whereI’m going to go on vacation. Actually, “vacation” might…
  • 05/07 - Not My Idea (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Steve Miller Band—Let Your Hair Down MoTW—Critters 3 I have to thank a Mets site (which I won’t mention) for keeping me up onthe news, especially with what happened…
  • 04/23 - Why Ham? (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Pretty Reckless—Light Me Up MoTW—Suck It was really simple. “I’m going to Costco on Friday, is there anything you need?” “Well, I saw some chicken salad that looked really…
  • 04/16 - We’re Not A Good Couple (by Stephen Johnson)
    Within Temptation—The Unforgiving MoTW—Repo Men   Generally folks hook up with one another because they feel like they canget support from each other. They should throw ideas at each other…
  • 04/09 - This Is Really Over The Place (by Stephen Johnson)
    Whitesnake—Forevermore MoTW—Micmacs I actually had something to write about this week, something interesting(for once). I had it all planned out in my head, had it storyboarded and all thatother jazz…
  • 03/26 - I Get Sick. Again. It Sucks. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Kings Of The Sun—Full Frontal Attack MoTW—Capone I dunno what's going on, but I fear I'm losing my awesome prettiness andvitality. It must be my ancient age catching up to…
  • 02/26 - And The Verdict Was…… (by Stephen Johnson)
    John Sykes—20th Century MoTW—The Runaways A gentleman named Mark left a comment on last week's opus, asking if hecould use part of it. Now, for some reason, I get email…
  • 02/19 - I Explain A Process (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Tea Party—The Edges Of Twilight MoTW—The Lovely Bones What's this? Two weeks in a row? Is Stephen getting back to his normal,once a week postings? MAYBE! But here's the…
  • 02/12 - Jury Duty. Again. Sigh. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Danko Jones—Sleep Is The Enemy MoTW—Where's Marlowe? Anyway, as I was saying awhile ago, before I was forced to take a fewweeks off from writing stuff (and that seems to…
  • 01/22 - Bob Doesn’t Know Frank And My Final Top Ten Movies Of 2010 List Thing (by Stephen Johnson)
    Badlands—Badlands MoTW—Piranha (2010) Before I ramble on about stuff nobody cares about but me, I have myfinal list of the 10 best movies of 2010. It's final because there's afew…
  • 01/01 - Top Ten Of Two Thousand And Ten (by Stephen Johnson)
    Firewind—The Premonition MoTW—Centurion Well, another year has gone by and I want to thank each and everyone ofmy mutlitude of fans for their support and donations. It's really kindof appreciated,…
  • 01/01 - Top Ten Of Two Thousand And Ten (by Stephen Johnson)
    Firewind—The Premonition MoTW—Centurion Well, another year has gone by and I want to thank each and everyone ofmy multitude of fans for their support and donations. It's really kindof appreciated,…
  • 12/19 - Why The Woman Generally Isn’t Seen In Public With Wonderful Ole Me (by Stephen Johnson)
    Machine Head—The Blackening MoTW—She's Out Of My League (Dedicated to Noodles, my friend, my pal, my baby. You were alwaysthere, hanging around with me while I vegged out listening to…
  • 12/04 - A Complete Waste Of Our Time (by Stephen Johnson)
    Faith No More—Album Of The Year MoTW—Predators I really wanted to write about something important this week, maybesomething to do with politics or world affairs. Something important.Something that would make…
  • 11/20 - Finally I Can Write About Normal Stuff Again (by Stephen Johnson)
    Meat Loaf—Hang Cool Teddy Bear MoTW—Forbidden World This is kind of cool. After a few months I can actually write about something other than aroadtrip (which was a contractual obligation).…
  • 11/06 - The 2010 Roadtrip: Grand Finale (by Stephen Johnson)
    Star One—Victims Of The Modern Age MoTW—The Crazies (2010) Thursday 8/5 6:00 am: Woke up. Big travel day so had to get the ball rolling. Nodilly dallying allowed. 6:01 am:…
  • 10/30 - The 2010 Roadtrip: Part 6 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Therion—Sitra Ahra MoTW—A New Leaf Wednesday 8/4 6:30 am: Woke up. Turned channel to TBS. Put on sweats and went outsideto smoke, drink a diet Dew and read. 6:55 am:…
  • 10/23 - The 2010 Roadtrip: Part 5 (by Stephen Johnson)
    High On Fire—Snakes For The Divine MoTW—The Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans Tuesday 8/3 6:00 am: Woke to a new day. Made sure the tv was tuned to…
  • 10/17 - The 2010 Roadtrip: Part 4 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Blind Guardian—At The Edge Of Time MoTW—The Collector Finally what you've all been waiting for! The "saga" continues! Monday 8/2 12:30 am: Woken up by the sound of doors slamming…
  • 09/25 - The 2010 Roadtrip: Part 3 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Death Angel—Relentless Retribution MoTW—Machete Before I continue, let's correct a mistake on the last post. For thefinal entry, it should be: Sunday, 8/1 12:05 am: I was tired. I went…
  • 09/05 - The 2010 Roadtrip: Part 2 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Iron Maiden—The Final Frontier MoTW—The Lost Skeleton Returns Again Saturday, 7/31 (cont.) 8:30 pm: After saying our hello's and whatnot, I got down to thebusiness of finding a hotel o…
  • 08/08 - The 2010 Roadtrip: Part 1 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lillian Axe—Deep Red Shadows MoTW—Surrogates Now, you can read SOMEONE ELSES post on THEIR vacation or you can readthe original, one-and-only vacation post that matters: MINE! As luck would have…
  • 07/22 - Nothing Better To Do So I “Wrote” This (by Stephen Johnson)
    Chris Caffery—House Of Insanity MoTW—The Slammin' Salmon So it's Thursday and I don't have much going on since it's rainingoutside. I was going to watch someone cut my grass, but…
  • 07/10 - Here’s Where I Talk About Lawn Sprinklers. Again. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Foghat—Last Train Home MoTW—Daybreakers Sometimes I like throwing on some nice duds (or "clothes" for the youthreading this) and assimilating myself into a workforce somewhere. It'sjust something to do to…
  • 06/26 - A Lazy Secretive Thing With Stuff On Top (by Stephen Johnson)
    Y&T—Facemelter MoTW—Blue Collar Before I get started, would like those that like classic rock/metal tojoin a new forum at www.classic-rock-bottom.ning.com. It's an offshoot of a forum that's closing down on…
  • 06/12 - How I Got Rich!!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Molly Hatchet—Justice MoTW—Pontypool Some of you may have noticed that Bob finally posted something new aftera few months. Kinda weird, I thought he was in prison (AGAIN) and had anoffice…
  • 05/30 - How My Memorial Day Weekend Was Ruined (Like You Care) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Cathedral—The Guessing Game MoTW—Pandorum With this being Memorial Day weekend here in the USA, I figured I mightas well get my ass in gear and do some outside chores since…
  • 05/15 - A Movie And A Frog (by Stephen Johnson)
    Van Canto—Tribe Of Force MoTW—Frat Party Gotta apologise first for taking three weeks before posting somethingnew. Don't know why that happened, maybe it's the weather and working onthe lawn and…
  • 04/24 - The Funeral: The Middle And End (by Stephen Johnson)
    Jon Oliva's Pain—Festival MoTW—Dead Snow As we pulled away from the church, I got smart and turned on theheadlights so we would fit in with the rest of the vehicles…
  • 04/03 - The Funeral: The Beginning (by Stephen Johnson)
    Raven—Walk Through Fire MoTW—Gigantic Finally the day arrived, the day of the funeral. The day we had all beenwaiting for. The buildup leading to the climax. That and everythingelse. While…
  • 03/27 - What Happened At The Funeral Home (by Stephen Johnson)
    Scorpions—Sting In The Tail MoTW—The House Of The Devil Luckily for me. the funeral home wasn't too far away and I was able tosqueeze my legs together so no pee…
  • 03/13 - More Mention Of My Finger, Deborah Foreman and Finally…… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Porcupine Tree—The Incident MoTW—Black Dynamite Have you ever gotten to the point where you sit down to write somethingthat needs to be written, yet can't figure out exactly what to…
  • 02/28 - My Wounded Finger Is Still Wounded (by Stephen Johnson)
    Kittie—In The Black MoTW—Year One Maybe it was a mistake letting the cat have it's way with my woundedfinger since it's not healing. After a few days of the cat…
  • 02/20 - My Wound And The Destruction It Could Have Caused (by Stephen Johnson)
    Priestess—Hello Master MoTW—Zombieland I'm wounded. I hit my forefinger with a hammer today as I was putting together abookshelf and have a nice, huge blood blister. So what should I…
  • 02/08 - And I Thought This Would All Be Over (by Stephen Johnson)
    Wolfmother—Cosmic Egg MoTW—Gran Torino Ten years ago (not 7, as it's stated somewhere on this site) I was givenan opportunity to try and make a difference in the world by…
  • 01/16 - Fearless Predictions for 2010 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Big Jim Slade—This Is Delicious MoTW—Capricorn One And yet again, another year passes and another is here which means it'sthat time again, time to see how my predictions for last…
  • 01/02 - Top 10 Movies & Music Of 2009 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Anthrax—Persistence Of Time MoTW—District 9 Well, we made it thru another year! And with the new year upon us. it'stime yet again for our list of the top 10 movies…
  • 12/19 - Christmas Is Here And I’ve Gots The Spirit! (by Stephen Johnson)
    In Flames—A Sense Of Purpose MoTW—Black Christmas Since it's Christmas week and we're all supposed to be full of falsecheer and kindness towards our fellow man, I'm not going to…
  • 12/14 - I’m Back And I Wrote Stuff That You Can Read (by Stephen Johnson)
    Funkadelic—Uncle Jam Wants You! MoTW—The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto Well, I guess I'm back. And I guess some of you are wondering whathappened on my latest trip to NJ.…
  • 11/21 - The 2009 Roadtrip: The Unsatisfying Conclusion (by Stephen Johnson)
    Sonata Arctica—The Days Of Grays MoTW—Feast III: The Happy Finish 7:00 am: Woke up and hopped into the shower. Dressed and then loaded upthe car. 9:30 am: Stopped at a…
  • 11/14 - The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 9 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Devin Townsend Project—Addicted MoTW—The Deadly Spawn (Contrary to popular belief, I did not build a time machine and warpmyself to the next day. The last time listed on the last…
  • 11/07 - Another Detour: Michigan Wants You To Slaughter Bambi (by Stephen Johnson)
    Trans-Siberian Orchestra—Night Castle MoTW—War, Inc. "Fall is here, don't veer for deer" So sayeth the high-tech signs here, there and everywhere on the Michiganhighways. Which gets me to wondering: What…
  • 10/24 - The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 8 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Kiss—Sonic Boom MoTW—Trick 'r Treat Wednesday 12:15 am: After downing a cocktail of Nyquil mixed with Kahlua, myscreaming peters off to sporadic outbursts of whimpering. I feel I'mready to go…
  • 10/17 - Another Break Because I’m Sick (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lynyrd Skynyrd—God + Guns MoTW—Nobel Son So here I am, sitting in front of the computer and writing somethingeven though I am sick. Don't know what it is, but this…
  • 10/10 - The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 7 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Foreigner—Can't Slow Down MoTW—Alien Trespass Tuesday 5:35 am: Wake up. Feel refreshed. Watch the usual "Married WithChildren" and "Saved By The Bell" mini-marathons. That fucking Screech! 8:45 am: The woman…
  • 09/26 - The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 6 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Muse—The Resistance MoTW—Crank 2: High Voltage 7:25 pm: After declining insurance and signing a waiver stating thatChuck's would not be responsible for any lost items, limbs or life, weare allowed…
  • 09/19 - Finally! A Break From The Roadtrip! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Megadeth—Endgame MoTW—Sex Drive Due to nasty nightmares, I decided to take a break from writing aboutthe 2009 roadtrip. Thinking about what was to come next made me almostpuke, so I'm…
  • 09/12 - The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 5 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Therion—The Miskolc Experience MoTW—City Of Ember 1:06 pm: My crying is interrupted by a knock on the door. Thinking it'sthe authorities and/or some of the remaining hotel management, I run…
  • 08/29 - The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 4 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Warrior—Fighting For The Earth MoTW—Brothers Of The Head MONDAY 6:08 am: Woke up. Turned to TBS so I could watch a bit of "Married WithChildren". 6:11 am: Awake enough now.…
  • 08/23 - The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 3 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Blue Oyster Cult—Club Ninja MoTW—Night Shift 6:12 pm: The shrieking continued and I wiped the blood from my eyes. Bigmistake. It's moments like this I wish I were struck with…
  • 08/15 - The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 2 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Saga—10,000 Days MoTW—The Exterminator 3:00 pm: Entered New Jersey. Disguise on. Contacted the step sister andtold her we would be in town shortly. She sounded……really thrilled.The cops at the border…
  • 08/02 - The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 1 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Tygers Of Pan Tang—Animal Instinct MoTW—Watchmen So here it is…instead of sitting around home and trying to make asuper computer, I went out on the road in order to preach…
  • 07/18 - Meatless Movie Questions (by Stephen Johnson)
    Dream Theater—Black Clouds & Silver Linings MoTW—BMX Bandits Movie review: These three young Australians who like bicycles find somewalkie talkies in a lake and sell them around town to make…
  • 07/11 - This Year’s Roadtrip Destination And Another Review (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lillian Axe—Sad Day On Planet Earth MoTW—Beowulf OK, since I had such a strong, positive reaction to last week's firstever movie review, I'm going to do it again, this time…
  • 07/04 - I Review A Movie!!!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Cheap Trick—The Latest MoTW—Exit Speed Someone told me that since I don't work and sit around all day longwatching movies, that maybe I should review the movies I pick as…
  • 06/27 - The Weakest Ending EVER (by Stephen Johnson)
    UFO—The Visitor MoTW—Stuck So I decided to make amends and cook dinner for me and the woman.Something fancy, something that we could enjoy in the candlelight at ourrarely used dining…
  • 06/13 - Things Don’t Go My Way (by Stephen Johnson)
    Queensryche—American Soldier MoTW—Plague Town So there we were, me standing there holding the severed finger in theair with the woman screaming at me to give her the finger so she…
  • 06/06 - I’m Finally Set Free Due To A Stupid Family Tragedy (by Stephen Johnson)
    Chickenfoot—Chickenfoot MoTW—Ninja Cheerleaders Finally the day came when the woman decided to let me out of thebasement and it only took a nasty accident for this to happen. The woman's…
  • 05/24 - It’s Not Going To Stop Anytime Soon (by Stephen Johnson)
    Black Stone Cherry—Folklore And Superstition MoTW—Mother Of Tears I must apologise to those who wrote me nasty emails about killing ourpet goat and those that didn't take the time to…
  • 05/17 - Thou Shall Not Worship Those That Wear Bib Overalls (by Stephen Johnson)
    Paul Gilbert & Freddie Nelson—United States MoTW—This Is Not A Test It's a good thing Bob posts his shit on Sundays since it gives me 5-6days to let the anger…
  • 05/10 - I Might Have Went Way Too Far (by Stephen Johnson)
    Heaven & Hell—The Devil You Know MoTW—Control (2007) Amusingly, my post from a couple weeks might have crossed the line andwent a little bit too far. It's driven Bob to…
  • 04/25 - Press The Button, Pull The String And Watch Him Dance! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lacuna Coil—Shallow Life MoTW—Confessions Of A Superhero So it came to this. Instead of being a man (a rather short one at that),Mr. Goateed spunk decided he would drag children…
  • 04/11 - The Secret Formula That Keeps Your Underwear White! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Mastodon—Crack The Skye MoTW—JCVD I was going to continue my rant about the goateed wonderboy but guess Iwon't since he's too gutless to tell us why I can't read. I…
  • 04/05 - That Formidable Fork On The Couch (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Michael Schenker Group—MSG MoTW—Role Models Here's the title of Bob's latest thing (I refuse to call anything hewrites a blog, column, article, essay, etc.): "Why Stephen can't read but…
  • 03/28 - Mr. Goatee And Testicle Shopping (by Stephen Johnson)
    Chicago—XXXII: Stone Of Sisyphus MoTW—There Will Be Blood There's something going on in Bob's land, something I need to knowabout. It's something about Stephen and how he can't read. Is…
  • 03/14 - The Perils Of A Distracting Woman (by Stephen Johnson)
    Streets—1st MoTW—Repo! The Genetic Opera The woman and I were heading home after a horrible experience at thegrocery store (a story for another day) a week or so ago and…
  • 02/22 - When The Animal Kingdom Goes Wild (Again) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Kick Axe—Rock The World MoTW—Zack And Miri Make A Porno I guess it was one of those weeks when the animal kingdom decided tostrike back……. Earlier this past week I…
  • 02/15 - A Masterpiece Hollywood Doesn’t Want You To See (by Stephen Johnson)
    Pat Travers—Black Pearl MoTW—Eden Lake Let me tell you a story. Let me tell you a story about a movie that you will probably never, eversee. It all started out…
  • 01/24 - Fearless Predictions for 2009! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Y&T—Earthshaker MoTW—Unknown It's that time of the year again for me to look at my ball and predictwhat's gonna happen in the coming year. But first, let's check out last…
  • 01/10 - Our Top Albums of 2008 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Rick Springfield—Venus In Overdrive MoTW—The Darwin Awards So we're done with our top movie picks of '08 (It's the one titled "OutTop Ten (or so) Movies of 2008". Notice the…
  • 01/01 - Out Top Ten (or so) Movies of 2008 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Ayreon—-01011001 MoTW—An American Carol Well, it's a new year and it's that time for me to let our faithfulfollowing know what movies we found to be the best of the…
  • 12/13 - I Prove Something Here (by Stephen Johnson)
    Judas Priest—Nostradamus MoTW—Quantum of Solace I got this following email from Cindy who doesn't like me too much: "i've been reading your stuff occassionally and when I do I notice…
  • 12/07 - What I Did The Last (Almost) Two Weeks (by Stephen Johnson)
    Jon Oliva's Pain—Global Warning MoTW—Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead So I've taken a couple weeks of updating you with what's been going onin my super-duper life but now I'm…
  • 11/15 - It’s My Birthday! Again! (by Stephen Johnson)
    In This Moment—The Dream MoTW—Frontier(s) Before I start this week's incoherent rambling, I want to give a thanksto Sachi who left a comment on something I wrote way back on…
  • 11/08 - I’m NOT Apologising (by Stephen Johnson)
    Queen + Paul Rodgers—The Cosmos Rocks MoTW—Blood Feast In the immortal word from "Iron Eagle 2": DAMMIT!! I was all set to go this past Tuesday with my one-of-a-kind live…
  • 11/02 - Election Day Excitement!!!!!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    AC/DC—Black Ice MoTW—Postal Check this shit out! This Tuesday we at theweirdcrap.com are going to jump into the fray andprovide all day wall-to-wall coverage of the US elections! Which reminds…
  • 10/18 - The Least Thought Out Bit Of Writing I Might Have Ever Done (by Stephen Johnson)
    Into Eternity—The Incurable Tragedy MoTW—Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer After wasting your time with two months of "writing" about this yearsroadtrip, I now have to come up with something new, somethinginteresting,…
  • 10/05 - The 2008 Roadtrip: The Grand Finale (by Stephen Johnson)
    Extreme—Saudades de Rock MoTW—Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat 2:00 pm: Just for the woman, stopped at the Boyd's Bear place thing. Nota lot of cars in the parking lot probably…
  • 09/21 - The 2008 Roadtrip: Part 5 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Uriah Heep—Wake The Sleeper MoTW—10 Items Or Less 10:30 am: So we're off to find Devil's Den. The woman at the visitor'sbureau had told my woman it was up the…
  • 09/14 - The 2008 Roadtrip: Part 4 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Metallica—Death Magnetic MoTW—Zodiac (Note: Thankfully, not one long paragraph this time. However, thefollowing does flip between present and past tense a bit. That's whathappens when you don't finish school kiddies!)…
  • 08/31 - The 2008 Roadtrip: Part 3 (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Sword—Gods of the Earth MoTW—Broken (A note before you begin: This is one really long paragraph. You've beenwarned.) 9:00 pm: The tour starts. Hooray! About 30 people taking part…
  • 08/17 - The 2008 Roadtrip: Part 2 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Asia—Phoenix MoTW—Out There 3:25 pm: Found Centralia after driving through it. Saw signs withmileage leading up to Centralia, but someone managed to end up at theend of a road with…
  • 08/10 - The 2008 Roadtrip: Part 1 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Opeth—Watershed MoTW—It's Alive Another year and another roadtrip done. I know you're thrilled and ready to read about this latest trip. It's adoozy, I'm tellin' ya! A real DOOZY! So…
  • 07/26 - The Letdown That Is The Finale Of The Real True Story Of That Trip (by Stephen Johnson)
    Kim Mitchell—Ain't Life Amazing MoTW—Funny Money I suppose I did because I brushed off the road dirt from my customfitted jumpsuit, put it on, told Spunky the lowdown of the…
  • 07/13 - Now I Am Nothing But A Pawn (by Stephen Johnson)
    Journey—Revelation MoTW—In A Dark Place "Hey, i didn't say anything about the trash, k? not that i even have tomention it, thanks" I received the above message on my cell…
  • 07/06 - My Neighbors Hate Me And I Don’t Know Why (by Stephen Johnson)
    Motley Crue—Saints of Los Angeles MoTW—Stardust As I sit here trying to figure out something, anything to write about, aparty is going on next door, a party which we were,…
  • 06/22 - I Have Some Explaining To Do (by Stephen Johnson)
    Korpiklaani—Korven Kuningas MoTW—Hairspray I got a nasty email from someone associated with this site asking why Ihadn't submitted anything new for the last few weeks. Since I'm paid quite handsomely…
  • 06/01 - I Tried, I Failed, I Gained (by Stephen Johnson)
    King's X—XV MoTW—Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II I decided that my next step in my presidential run would be to hit thetown Michael Moore style and get some serious…
  • 05/18 - Someone’s Loss Is My Gain (by Stephen Johnson)
    Whitesnake—Good To Be Bad MoTW—Big Nothing A few days ago, as I was putting the finishing touches on myeco-friendly prez-mobile, I heard the doorbell ring. Thinking it was someone looking…
  • 05/11 - Kudos to Bob, Plus I “Accidentally” Tell You His Real Indentity (by Stephen Johnson)
    Def Leppard—Songs From the Sparkle Lounge MoTW—Sisters As I work feverishly on my campaign, Bob sits quietly at home with his17 chilluns, surfing the web for obscure midget porn and…
  • 04/27 - Lies! All Lies! (Kind Of) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Death Angel—Killing Season MoTW—Shivers Well, it was bound to happen eventually. My campaign has been going sublimely strongly with no hitches to speakof until now but luckily it's just a…
  • 04/13 - The Name Game (by Stephen Johnson)
    The B-52s—Funplex MoTW—Straight Into Darkness As my muted, low-key running for the presidency continues, I keepthinking of reasons why I would be a grand choice for that covetedposition, most of…
  • 03/30 - It’s Starting Oh Yes It Is (by Stephen Johnson)
    Warbringer—War Without End MoTW—The Hoax As I wander around this little burb I live in and as I duck and run forcover everytime I happen to find myself in downtown…
  • 03/09 - An Announcement of the Highest Magnitude (by Stephen Johnson)
    Avantasia—The Scarecrow MoTW—Can't Stop The Music I can remember a few years ago when I made the momentous decision tothrow all caution to the wind and announce my candidacy to…
  • 02/24 - What Follows Has No Title (by Stephen Johnson)
    Loverboy—Just Getting Started MoTW—Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls Best Buy just doesn't do "it" for me anymore. I don't know, maybe I'mgetting old and a bit behind the times…
  • 02/10 - The One Where I Write About Important Things (by Stephen Johnson)
    Prince—Planet Earth MoTW—The Lookout To those that stopped by expecting the final chapter in that littleknown opus of my real trip from last year, well………tough shit. Fornow. Instead I'd rather…
  • 01/27 - Fearless Predictions for 2008 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Eagles—Long Road Out Of Eden MoTW—Hot Rod Well, it's a little bit late compared to the last few years but betterlate than never, right? RIGHT? But before I gaze into…
  • 01/13 - The Only Lists That Matter! My Top Ten Movies and Music of 2007 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Chris Caffery—Pins and Needles MoTW—Black X-Mas I've been doing these lists the last few years and, since nobody reads'em, I'm going to keep on doing them anyway because I can.…
  • 12/30 - The REAL TRUE Story of That Trip: Part 8 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Dream Theater–Systematic Chaos MoTW—The Bourne Ultimatum As I lay on the pavement with my saviour cradling me in their arms, Iopened my eyes and found myself staring into the greenest…
  • 12/16 - The Real Story OF That Trip: Part 7 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lillian Axe—Waters Rising MoTW—Superbad Let's play Mad Libs! Half-naked, I _______ over to the pickup truck prepared to do what wasmeant to be done. Cackling wildly, he rummaged around the…
  • 12/02 - THE Real Story of That Trip: Part 6 (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Cult—Born Into This MoTW—Live Free Or Die Harder So there I was, staring down the barrel of a shotgun that was held by anold geezer with the serious shakes.…
  • 11/18 - The Real STORY of That Trip: Part 5 ( With Some Bonus Detours) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Iced Earth—Framing Armageddon: Something Wicked Part 1 MoTW—Point Blank Since the needle on the gas gauge was hovering a bit below the "E", Idid what any normal person would do…
  • 11/04 - The Real Story of THAT Trip: Part 4 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Scorpions—Humanity Hour 1 MoTW—Smokin' Aces So who was this "Night Rider" character? Some sort of cartoon charactercome to life or just another figment of my sometimes over-nonproductiveimagination? Granted, he did…
  • 10/22 - The REAL Story of that Trip in One Part (So Far) (by Stephen Johnson)
    (NOTE: Here it is, in all it's glory, the real story of that trip sofar. For those that haven't kept up, now's your chance. For thosecouple who have, I just…
  • 10/07 - The TRUE Story of that Trip: Part 3 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Ted Nugent—Love Grenade MoTW—Hook, Line and Sinker I was making good time now, the engine wailing like a cat in heat whilethe dual water-cooled intra-exhaust chrome plated super-sized goldcoated super-duper-charged…
  • 09/23 - The REAL Story of That Trip: Part Two (by Stephen Johnson)
    Dave Davies—Fractured Mindz MoTW—The Last Man on Earth "Breaker. Breaker. Breaker. Breaker. BREAker. BreaKER.Breakerbreakerbreakerbreakerbre.." "What the fuck do you want?!" "This here's Ducky Rubber, got four on the floor and…
  • 09/09 - The TRUE Story of That Trip (by Stephen Johnson)
    Neal Morse—Sola Scriptura MoTW—Halloween So here it is, the REAL story of the vacation. None of that namby-pambybullshit you (might have) read before, but the real-deal, no cornerscut, unexpurgated, uncut,…
  • 08/20 - Day Three Of The Trip You Don’t Want To Hear About (by Stephen Johnson)
    Echoes of Eternity—The Forgotten Goddess MoTW—Hexed Got up early again for this, the third day, and back to the Flying J wewent, this time to enjoy their breakfast buffet. Fuck…
  • 08/13 - Day Two Of The Trip You Could Care Less About (by Stephen Johnson)
    Porcupine Tree—Fear of a Blank Planet MoTW—The Prestige Day two and we're up bright and early, ready for the Rock And Roll Hallof Fame in Cleveland, OH. Got there about…
  • 08/05 - Day One Of The Trip You Could Care Less About (by Stephen Johnson)
    Within Temptation—The Heart of Everything MoTW—Hot Fuzz So I've been thinking about this for the last couple days and have cometo the decision that nobody really wants to hear about…
  • 07/23 - His Heaving Bosom Was Crushed As She Pulled Him To Her And (by Stephen Johnson)
    Marty Friedman—Loudspeaker MoTW—Excalibur Did one of those annual canoe trips this past weekend, this time on adifferent river which was much, much farther away than the last few. This time…
  • 07/08 - Imagine You Read This (Or Not) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Symphony X—Paradise Lost MoTW—The Doom Generation So, you've had a week to think about what your response would have been.To those who have no clue what I'm talking about well,…
  • 07/01 - The Streak Was Broken, But For a Very Good Reason (by Stephen Johnson)
    Sonata Arctica—Unia MoTW—Day of the Animals Guess I lost that streak of posting on consecutive weeks. What a bummer. There's a good reason why it ended at two weeks. To…
  • 06/17 - Whoa! Two Weeks in a Row? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Fair To Midland—Fables From A Mayfly: What I Tell You Three Times IsTrue MoTW—The Mesmerist Check it out: Two weeks and two postings from me! Ain't that grand? I had…
  • 06/10 - Questions? Answers? Answers! Questions! And A Comment! (by Stephen Johnson)
    REO Speedwagon—Find Your Own Way Home MoTW—Accepted I try to respond to any blurb left in the comment section (link below)unless it's a 20,000 word definition about geology which is…
  • 05/27 - Advice For The Creators of “Lost” Along With Other Nuggets From My Ass (by Stephen Johnson)
    Megadeth—United Abominations MoTW—Pan's Labyrinth Here's an idea for the creators of "Lost" that will help make their showbetter: Kill Kate. This past season whenever she was onscreen, I found my…
  • 05/27 - Advice For The Creators Of “Lost” Along With Other Nuggets From My Ass (by Stephen Johnson)
    Megadeth—United Abominations MoTW—Pan's Labyrinth Here's an idea for the creators of "Lost" that will help make their showbetter: Kill Kate. This past season whenever she was onscreen, I found my…
  • 05/07 - I Now Love Weddings!!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Rush—Snakes & Arrows MoTW—The Protector Wow! How wrong I was! I expected the wedding and reception to be a particularly gruelingaffair, what with the no alcohol rule and my not…
  • 04/29 - Funky Boy Goes Shopping (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Bus Boys—Boys Are Back In Town MoTW—Edmond I guess to some people it's a joke my car got hit by an errant mattress.I guess the same people think that…
  • 04/15 - A Long Rambling About My Accident, With Two or Three Funny Bits (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lordi—The Arockalypse MoTW—Grindhouse A couple weeks ago I decided to take a few days off from my wanderingsand musings so that I could simply sit around doing nothing exceptwatching Wrestlemania…
  • 04/08 - I’ll Be Back Next Week! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Nothing new (again) this week but I promise all of you that therereally, truly will be something new for you to peruse next week. What with the baseball season starting…
  • 03/26 - I’m Better Than a 13 Year-Old (by Stephen Johnson)
    In This Moment—Beautiful Tragedy MoTW—Brazil Here I am again with absolutely nothing to say. I guess it would be fun taking a month or so off from writing aboutstuff, but…
  • 03/14 - Read Only if You’re Really Bored (by Stephen Johnson)
    Eddie Hazel—Games, Dames and Guitar Thangs MoTW—Year of the Comet I couldn’t come up with anything to write about last week. This week is the same. But I can’t let…
  • 03/05 - My Awesome Ability, Britney & Hair (by Stephen Johnson)
    Focus—Focus III MoTW—Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny I bring you this piece taken from a column on this here site, dated1/7/07: “A pseudo-starlet will be found dead in…
  • 02/19 - The End of the Guinea Pigging (with a life lesson) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Therion—Gothic Kabbalah MoTW—Sweet Revenge Even with Jerome wailing like a cat in heat, we made it across theborder with no problems. Finding the hotel was also no issue even though…
  • 02/12 - The Guinea Pigging Goes Horribly Wrong? (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Cross—Mad: Bad: and dangerous to know MoTW—Benchwarmers While I waited for the loyal test subject to show up, I debated on whothe next phase of the testing should be…
  • 02/05 - Even More About That Guinea Pig Thing (by Stephen Johnson)
    Ram Jam—Portrait of the Artist as a Young Ram MoTW—TerrorVision I sprang into action as the garage door rose. While motioning to her to not park in the garage, I…
  • 01/22 - The Guinea Pigging Continues (by Stephen Johnson)
    Winger—IV MoTW—Axe The woman on The Weather Channel looked particularly fetching that dayand that, combined with the semi-clothed woman in the issue of GoodHousekeeping, caused quite the buildup and then…
  • 01/15 - I Become a Human Guinea Pig! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Buckcherry—15 MoTW—Ultraviolet Before you get started here, go ahead and take a moment to visit MasterGifford’s column under the “Paperback Writer” linkage thing locatedabove. He’s got a request for everyone…
  • 01/07 - Fearless Predictions for 2007 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Angtoria—God Has A Plan For Us All MoTW—Dagon It’s that time of year where I look into my crystal balls yet again andpredict some important happenings to happen in the…
  • 01/02 - 2007 New Years Resolution (by Stephen Johnson)
    Jon Oliva’s Pain—Maniacal Renderings MoTW—The Descent Wow! Another year under our belts which means that the sun is another year closer to slamming into the earth, killing whatever lifeform happens…
  • 12/24 - Top 10 Movies of the Year (And a Poker Bitch) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Nina Gordon—“bleeding heart graffiti” MoTW—“Azumi” I kind of took last week off and didn’t submit anything new for you toread, but there’s a good reason why: I was learning about…
  • 12/11 - A Special Holiday “Thank You” Column (Sort of) (by Stephen Johnson)
    Tipton, Entwistle & Powell—“Edge of the World” MoTW—“Clerks II” Not surprisingly, no word back from Britney or her camp yet. Part of methought that maybe Paris knows and is holding…
  • 12/05 - A Helping Hand to Britney (by Stephen Johnson)
    Rob Zombie—“Educated Horses” MoTW—“Freak Out” A couple few years ago, I offered Britney Spears the chance to converse with me, probably so that I could offer her guidance and support.…
  • 11/27 - Black Friday……..OF HELL! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Red Hot Chili Peppers—“Stadium Arcadium” MoTW—“Casino Royale” Nobody shot, nobody angry (some a bit disappointed that they didn’t getthere earlier). Me? I kinda got what I wanted, but wouldn’t have…
  • 11/20 - ebay: The Nine 1/2th Reich? (by Stephen Johnson)
    My Chemical Romance—“The Black Parade” MoTW—“Everything is Illuminated” Why, oh why was my Ebay account suspended. Why, why, why, why, why? I went to Ebay to find out exactly why,…
  • 11/13 - Ebay: The Fifth Reich? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Meat Loaf—“Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster is Loose” MoTW—“Slither” Ebay is basically a non-entity to me, it’s something out there that Ioccasionally use. It’s not one of those…
  • 11/05 - Yippee! It’s Votin’ Time! (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Who—“Endless Wire” MoTW—“Borat” Thought I had rid myself of the spam problem from a while ago, but it’scome back with a vengeance. Now I get about 400 spam email…
  • 10/30 - The Block Party: Finale (by Stephen Johnson)
    Dragonforce—“Inhuman Rampage” MoTW—“Underworld:Evolution” As Spunky gathered up the remains of his collection and Josie continuedrolling the headless body towards the latrine pit, I took some time toreflect on the party.…
  • 10/24 - The Block Party: Part 8 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Muse—“Black Holes and Revelations” MoTW—“Oldboy” “Roadkill?” I asked yet again, never one to let something go. Yes, ROADKILL!” shouted Spunky in an exasperated sort of way. “Deadanimal flesh, flattened fur,…
  • 10/15 - The Block Party: Part 7 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Into Eternity—“The Scattering of Ashes” MoTW—“Silent Hill” As Spunky went down the line of bins removing the covers, the smell gotstronger. It didn’t seem to effect the few shuffling people…
  • 10/09 - Another Break! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Due to the Mets win in the NLDS and the Stankees loss, I did way to muchcelebrating and couldn’t continue with The Block Party opus this week. Never fear though!…
  • 10/02 - The Block Party: Part 6 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Mastodon—“Blood Mountain” MoTW—“Zombie Honeymoon” “Yes, a petting zoo,” the lady said slowly, as if talking to a coupleNebraskans. Spunky started laughing and threw some cereal at a couple of the…
  • 09/24 - The Block Party: Part 5 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Donnie Iris and The Cruisers—“Ellwood City” MoTW—“Leon The Professional” I scampered into the garage and Spunky skedaddled over to his van as thebus rolled down the street. I plugged the…
  • 09/17 - The Block Party: Part 4 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Blind Guardian—“A Twist in the Myth” MoTW—“Ghoulies 2” Doris kept yelling into her cell phone, the passengercontinued prodding the headless body, I continued crying and rockingwhile Spunky was bent over…
  • 09/10 - The Block Party: Part 3 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Iron Maiden—“A Matter of Life and Death” MoTW—“Goldfinger” I heard the music, that happy clown music. I saw nothing. I kept hearing the music getting louder and louder. I still…
  • 09/04 - The Block Party: Part 2 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Exodus—“Shovel Headed Kill Machine” MoTW—“Event Horizon” “Jerry’s Party Hut, how can I help you?” “I’d like to order a clown.” “That might be a bit tricky, it’s the busiest time…
  • 08/21 - The Block Party: Part 1 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Strapping Young Lad—“The New Black” MoTW—“Night at the Golden Eagle” So there was a block party this past Saturday. Seemingly everyone wasinvited, even people on other blocks, which made it…
  • 07/30 - The Aristocrats!!! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Tom Petty—“Highway Companion” MoTW—“Final Destination 3” It’s time to take a break from the garbage I’ve been spewing out thelast few months. What follows something that’s been brewing inside mefor…
  • 07/28 - A Boring Part of the Large Piece (by Stephen Johnson)
    Black Stone Cherry—“Black Stone Cherry” MoTW—“Phantasm II” I spotted her as I was emptying the trash from the registers. Emptyingtrash was the highlight of being a bundler, only surpassed by…
  • 07/10 - Tossing a Piece That Way (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Bus Boys—“American Worker” MoTW—“Superman Returns” I put Mrs Beasley behind the couch in the living room, figuring it wasas safe a place as any. This way she wouldn’t be…
  • 07/02 - One Little Plan Broken Into Pieces (by Stephen Johnson)
    Dragonforce—“Sonic Firestorm” MoTW—“The Hills Have Eyes (2006)” When I was done shitting. showering and eating breakfast, I went back tomy room, pulled Mrs Beasley from the closet and sat her…
  • 06/24 - The Little Piece That Fit (by Stephen Johnson)
    Joan Jett and the Blackhearts—“Sinner” MoTW—“Cemetery Man” I was surrounded by giant grocery carts with huge dripping fangs. An oldAsian man pointed at the carts and then at me. “You…
  • 06/18 - Cramming in Some Parts and Pieces (by Stephen Johnson)
    Cheap Trick—“Rockford” MoTW—“Mysterious Skin” I consulted the book of directions included with the Erector set anddecided that I really didn’t need to build a helicopter (with movablerotors!) or a windmill…
  • 06/04 - A Million Nuts Added to the Pieces (by Stephen Johnson)
    Drive-By Truckers—“A Blessing and a Curse” MoTW—“Hotel Rwanda” Dinner that night wasn’t a pleasant affair. I sat sulking shovellingspoonful after spoonful of peas into my mouth trying to figure a…
  • 05/29 - Pieces Tangled a Million Times Over (by Stephen Johnson)
    Celtic Frost—“Monotheist” MoTW—“Class of 1984” As I pondered the meaning of the reversed doorknob, father walked out ofhis bathroom. (Why he had his own bathroom has caused me many restlessnights.…
  • 05/21 - Pulling the Pieces Apart (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Gathering—“Home” MoTW—“Jarhead” As I walked away mumbling every expletive I could think of, my brotheropened his window again and called me back over. “Do you really want to come…
  • 05/15 - Pulling the Parts from the Pieces (by Stephen Johnson)
    Wolfmother—“Wolfmother’ MoTW—“Wolf Creek” We were the only ones ducking the flying bats at the movie, quitepossibly due to the marijuana we had inhaled earlier. We were also theonly ones laughing…
  • 05/08 - A Smaller Portion of the Parts (by Stephen Johnson)
    Tool—“10,000 Days” MoTW—“Suspect Zero” “That asshole cut of my monkey’s finger!” I shouted. “Of course he did,” dad said as he sat down. “Don’t forget that I’vealso been sending hookers…
  • 05/01 - Another Portion of the Parts (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Sword—“Age of Winters” MoTW—“Hostel” As I ran downstairs to find my father, Geoff, my brother, handed me awad of toilet paper. “The bitch is mine,” he whispered as he…
  • 04/23 - Bit And Pieces And Parts (by Stephen Johnson)
    Prince—“3121” MoTW—“Blue Demon” “So, what’s the plan?” she asked as she sat on my bed. “I’m writing a story about a pony,” I said as I closed the door. “That’s…
  • 04/23 - oluiluiyikikykyukyukyk (by Stephen Johnson)
    Prince—“3121” MoTW—“Blue Demon” “So, what’s the plan?” she asked as she sat on my bed. “I’m writing a story about a pony,” I said as I closed the door. “That’s…
  • 04/16 - Some Pieces Starting to Fit (by Stephen Johnson)
    Queensryche—“Operation: Mindcrime II” MoTW—“The Border” Instead of feeling happy that I was going to fight and defeat whateverterrible disease I might have, I sat with my head hanging as I…
  • 04/09 - Picking up the Parted Pieces (by Stephen Johnson)
    Lacuna Coil—“Karmacode” MoTW—“Kontroll” I had found almost all of the hidden objects in the magazine when I wasby the receptionist. My dad pulled the magazine from my hands and yankedme…
  • 03/20 - Fitting the Pieces With the Parts (by Stephen Johnson)
    Toto—“Falling In Between” MoTW—“All Souls Day” “Oh my goodness! What is this all over the walls? Is it………IT IS!YOU SMEARED FECES ALL OVER YOUR WALLS!” With that I woke up…
  • 03/12 - A Chunk of the Parts (by Stephen Johnson)
    David Gilmour—“On An Island” MoTW—“200 Motels” As I pedalled home with the boxed monkey wedged under my left armpit, Itried to figure out what to tell my mother about why…
  • 03/06 - Pieces of the Parts (by Stephen Johnson)
    Bruce Dickinson—“Tyranny of Souls” MoTW—“The Jacket” I awoke the next morning with a smile as visions of monkeys prancedthrough my mind. As I peeled the sheet from my somehow sticky…
  • 02/27 - More Pieces Adding Up To Four (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Devin Townsend Band—“Synchestra” MoTW—“Cat Ballou” And so it continues with the hope that my issues and pains help someonesomewhere…. The whole problem with vengeance was finding the right vengeance…
  • 02/20 - A Couple More of Those Slices (by Stephen Johnson)
    Leaves’ Eyes—“Vinland Saga” MoTW—“Cherish” And now, back to my non-Oprah approved life story of sickness and,hopefully, self-healing. I was in my room listening to a Dean Martin record when my…
  • 02/13 - A Bearable Tightness of Being (by Stephen Johnson)
    NOTE: Due to a house flood, there is no new post from Stephen this week.However, not to be outdone by that Frey guy, we have posted Stephen’smemoirs (so far) for…
  • 02/05 - Some Large Parts (by Stephen Johnson)
    Proto-Kaw—“Before Became After” MoTW—“The Bad News Bears” (05) My mommy will vouch that the following is as true as parts 1, 2 and 3. When I woke up the next…
  • 01/29 - A Few Small Portions (by Stephen Johnson)
    Korn—“See You On The Other Side” MoTW—“True Romance” This is as true as parts 1 & 2 combined. Since I was underage, the doctor had to wait to operate until…
  • 01/22 - A Couple Big Slices (by Stephen Johnson)
    The Mahavishnu Orchestra—“The Lost Trident Sessions” MoTW—“Teachers” All that follows is as true as Part One. I suppose getting sent to rehab at such a young age would befrightening, but…
  • 01/16 - A Million Little Feces (by Stephen Johnson)
    David Bowie—“Scary Monsters” MoTW—“Scarecrows” HELP!!!! Someone was kind enough to leave me a link for their blog lastweek but, due to some stupidity on my part, the original post with…
  • 01/13 - Fearless Predictions for ’06 (by Stephen Johnson)
    Tristania—“[ashes]” MoTW—“Dead End” Looking over my fearless ’05 predictions, I noticed that I completelyfailed. Only one came true with a small possibility of two coming truebut I don’t have any…
  • 01/02 - Smoke Free AND Another List? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Queen + Paul Rodgers—“Return of the Champions” MoTW—“Go Tell the Spartans” So I open my big mouth on New Year’s Eve when asked what resolution Imight have and I blurt…
  • 11/07 - How Not to Beat the High Cost of Living (by Stephen Johnson)
    Deep Purple—“Rapture of the Deep” MoTW—“Seed of Chucky” “I’ll give you 3 bucks.” “Per hour? Or is that the set price for the whole thing?” Ah, the youth of today.…
  • 10/17 - House of the Damned Woman (by Stephen Johnson)
    Various Artists—“Back Against the Wall” MoTW—“Critters 4” The house I live in is also home to a malevolent presence. The presence let itself be known when I decided that it…
  • 10/10 - Death Be Not Colorful (by Stephen Johnson)
    Journey—“Generations” MoTW—“The Dead Next Door” Nothing really going on I guess. I guess I have the thrill of hearingthe word “filibuster” mentioned over and over again on the news. That’sa…
  • 10/02 - Why Can’t I Leave This Alone? (by Stephen Johnson)
    King’s X—“Ogre Tones” MoTW—“The Stepfather” So the government is recommending that we start conserving energy whichI think is a brilliant idea. However, just recommending it won’t beenough for some idiots…
  • 09/25 - Tasty Succulent Legs (by Stephen Johnson)
    By Stephen Johnson Peter Frampton—“Breaking All the Rules” MoTW—“Dead & Breakfast” I missed National Talk Like a Pirate Day on 9/19. I don’t know why I missed it since someone…
  • 09/12 - The Mad Dearth of Jerome (by Stephen Johnson)
    Demons & Wizards—“Touched By the Crimson King” MoTW—“The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra” You’ve just gotta get that movie listed above and check it out. It’s oneof those flicks where you…
  • 09/05 - A Crackwhore Price Guide (by Stephen Johnson)
    Opeth—“Ghost Reveries” MoTW—“House of Games” *****************************************************If you haven’t done so already, please visit www.redcross.org and make adonation to help those affected by Hurricane Katrina. Any amount helpsand it only takes…
  • 08/29 - Urine, Swishy and Upchuck (by Stephen Johnson)
    Coheed and Cambria—“In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3” MoTW: “Death Wish” Nothing of importance happened last week compared to 2 weeks ago, unlessyou want to count the re-arrest of…
  • 08/22 - The P and Illiteracy (by Stephen Johnson)
    Judas Priest—“Sin After Sin” MoTW—“Humanoids From the Deep” Out of all the news from last week, only two items somehow becameembedded in my mind. No matter how I tried, I…
  • 08/15 - A Discussion on Dreams (by Stephen Johnson)
    Jethro Tull—“Minstrel in the Gallery” MoTW—“Born to Fight” Let’s talk about dreams today. About 4 years ago, I received an email from someone wondering what theirrecurring dream meant. I decided…
  • 08/07 - Goodbye Old Friend (by Stephen Johnson)
    Derringer—“Sweet Evil” MoTW—“Club Dread” I have some very sad news to report. Recently I found out that a company that’s been in business for over 50years is shutting down, ruining…
  • 08/01 - Nonsense That Makes No Sense (by Stephen Johnson)
    Captain Beyond—“Captain Beyond” MoTW—“Garden State” Last week I had one of those days that could have been on thoselife-changing moments but, when all was said and done, it was justanother…
  • 07/23 - The Universe, Female Mud Wrestlers and Email (by Stephen Johnson)
    Deep Purple—“The House of Blue Light” MoTW—“The Grifters” It’s been some time since I answered reader email, so I decided that nowis as good a time as any. Actually, now…
  • 07/16 - Don’t Worry, I’m Alright! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Paul Collins’ Beat—“The Kids Are The Same” MoTW—“The Eye” So I take a week off and some people decide it’s the perfect time toleave comments about how I suck and…
  • 07/11 - Nothing To See Here (by Stephen Johnson)
    After reading Stephen’s last few columns, we have decided to force himinto taking a break. We have found that the things he has been writing have no basis in fact,but…
  • 07/04 - Alcohol = Large Balls (by Stephen Johnson)
    Blackfoot—“Siogo” MoTW—“Land of the Dead” To celebrate the 4th of July, I decided to go out to the streets andfind out what this holiday means to the people. I asked…
  • 06/27 - I Am Oprah. Fear Me. (by Stephen Johnson)
    Black Sabbath—“Never Say Die!” MoTW—“Open Water” Seems that Oprah’s all hot and bothered since she wasn’t allowed into ahigh falutin French store because they were closed. Since it’s Oprah the…
  • 06/19 - I’ll Spank Your Monkey! (by Stephen Johnson)
    Planet P Project—“Pink World” MoTW—“Vampires Anonymous” I’m kind of bummed out because all the support I showed for MichaelJackson last week was for naught. For some reason I’m not considered…
  • 06/11 - Is That Sarcasm? (by Stephen Johnson)
    Graham Parker and The Shot—“Steady Nerves” MoTW—“Fame” I kinda feel bad for those people waiting outside the courthouse for thefinal verdict in the Michael Jackson case. Maybe it’s because I’m…
  • 06/05 - Puking on the Coming Apocalypse (by Stephen Johnson)
    Styx—“Big Bang Theory” MoTW—“My Best Fiend” Subway’s decision to cease their Sandwich Club threw me for a loop. WhenI first heard the news I was a little bit annoyed and…
  • 08/21 - I Am Taking Over This Mother Fucking Column… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Hey! My name is Jerome White. I am taking over this mother fucking column from Steven cause his ass is dead!! I don’t watch no television cause I ain’t got…
  • 08/14 - The Blood Spurting From My Ear… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Well, everyone should be happy to know that the blood spurting from my ear is now just a slow trickle. I recommend to everyone NOT to stick a pen in…
  • 08/07 - I Cant Believe The Bullshit Bob Is Trying To Lay On Everyone… (by Stephen Johnson)
    I can’t believe the bullshit Bob is trying to lay on everyone with his last “Ask Bob” entry (07/31/00). Take it from me, this is the last person you want…
  • 07/31 - This Past Thursday Was Quite The Day (by Stephen Johnson)
    Wow, this past Thursday was quite the day. I had the opportunity to watch Back N’ Street Boys on HBO, and I could also ask O. J. Simpson a question…
  • 07/27 - Rick Rockwell is Suing… (by Stephen Johnson)
    So, Rick Rockwell is suing a “stalker” that stepped on his foot? I am so stunned that I really can’t say anything else. Wait a minute………………….someone is actually stalking Rick…
  • 07/24 - The Demise of the Taco Bell Chihuahua (by Stephen Johnson)
    Sad to see the demise of the Taco Bell Chihuahua. No more little doggie. No more evil, wide eyed, hungry doggie creeping up on some unsuspecting human. If the dog…
  • 07/20 - We Still Have Not Decided On A Name For Our Movie (by Stephen Johnson)
    After many late night sessions, we still have not decided on a name for our movie. I kninda thought that “Full Metal Debra” and Debra Foreman Don’t Wear Plaid”, but…
  • 07/17 - New title, Same Idiot (by Stephen Johnson)
    New title, same idiot. Pretty cool.I was remiss in not mentioning a really nice Deborah Foreman site called “In Worship O’ Deborah Foreman”. We have included a link to that…
  • 07/13 - I Am Generally Pissed About Something, But Not Today… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Normally when I write this, I am generally pissed about something. But, not today. Nope. I have been extremely happy the last few days from an email I happened to…
  • 07/10 - The Parents Television Council (by Stephen Johnson)
    There is an organization called the Parents Television Council that is having sponsor’s pull advertisements from certain television programs that they deem unfit for our society. Recently, MCI and Dr.…
  • 07/06 - Kids Skateboarding… (by Stephen Johnson)
    I was bored on Sunday, and happened to switch on ESPN 2, and watched about 2 minutes of these kids skateboarding. I was thoroughly disgusted. I can remember when I…
  • 07/03 - The True Meaning of Independence Day (by Stephen Johnson)
    Before I get into the true meaning of Independence Day, I would like to issue an apology to John Rocker. Before Thursday’s Mets vs. Braves game, Mr. Rocker read a…
  • 06/29 - John Rocker Is Coming To New York! (by Stephen Johnson)
    On Thursday, John Rocker is coming back to New York to pitch. Extra security has been added, and the Mets have built a special barrier over and around the Atlanta…
  • 06/26 - Something Happened Within the Last Few Days… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Something happened within the last few days that shocked and sickened me. Usually I do not get easily repulsed, but as you read this, you will find out why I…
  • 06/22 - We Went To Nebraska! (by Stephen Johnson)
    We went to Nebraska last week to scout locations for the movie. I kept a diary of our trip which you can read below because we are really giving people!!!…
  • 06/15 - No New Posts Next Week… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Please remember that there will be no new posts until 6/21/00. We will be scouting sites around the country for the movie, and will probably be really, really drunk. In…
  • 06/01 - Holiday With Deborah Foreman… (by Stephen Johnson)
    This past holiday weekend as I lay in the hospital recovering from shattered knee, I tried to think of ways to get Deborah Foreman back on the big screen. Remember…
  • 05/29 - Currently In The Hospital… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Note From the Editor: “JOHN” IS CURRENTLY IN THE HOSPITAL DUE TO A SEVERE CASE OF FOOD POISONING. WE ARE GOING TO POST ONE OF HIS OLDER COLUMNS FOR ANYONE…
  • 05/25 - My Good Buddy… (by Stephen Johnson)
    So, my good buddy Matthew Perry ran his car into someone’s porch because he was trying to avoid another vehicle. And he wasn’t under the influence of drugs or alcohol.…
  • 05/22 - Your Support Is Appreciated! (by Stephen Johnson)
    I would like to thank everyone who sent us email the last few days. Your support is very much appreciated, and we will try our best to satisfy each and…
  • 05/18 - You Can Thank Me! (by Stephen Johnson)
    I would like everyone to thank me. Because of me, the cast of “Friends” are not getting a million dollars per edpisode. They all realized that I was correct and…
  • 05/15 - And The Lucky Winner Is… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Pretty soon, one lucky winner will be the 10,000th visito, unless we get shut down by Kathie Lee because she is a bitch, or we get shut down by Cody…
  • 05/08 - Some Tidbits (by Stephen Johnson)
    If you only do one thing today, please remember to visit Deborah Foreman’s site which has some really cool stuff. We have provided a link located (kind of) to the…
  • 05/08 - Cuba (by Stephen Johnson)
    After many minutes of soul searching, I have come to the conclusion that Elian should NOT have to go back to Cuba. We, as Americans, need to open our arms…
  • 05/08 - Not Just Mini Vans… (by Stephen Johnson)
    I am going to continue with my rant on drivers. See, after about 12 beers, I was making my way home at about 730 one evening. I did have the…
  • 05/05 - Script For The Weirdcrap.go.cc Movie! (by Stephen Johnson)
    The script for “Weirdcrap.go.cc: The Movie” has been started! We have finished the first line on the first page and we are amazed at where the story can now go.…
  • 05/04 - Soccer Moms (by Stephen Johnson)
    It amazes me that everyone is worried about Elian, Microsoft, if God is real, will Oprah get really, really fat again, etc., when there is a more serious problem that…
  • 05/01 - A Pay Raise? (by Stephen Johnson)
    So, the cast of “Friends” want a huge pay raise. And they are worth it because????? My honest opinion is the show really sucks. I don’t like it, so neither…
  • 04/23 - A Guest Writes My Column! (by Stephen Johnson)
    (Ann O’Naemis is filling in for John Stevenson on this weeks column since John is as lazy as he is stupid.) By Ann O’Naemis RELIGIONS: God inflicts pain. If you believe…
  • 04/16 - Cancelled? (by Stephen Johnson)
    I recently found out that “Beverly Hills 90210” is going to be cancelled!!!!! What??!!!! It seems like only yesterday that this groundbreaking television show began. I can remember me and…
  • 04/09 - I Dare You… (by Stephen Johnson)
    Wait a minute!!!! How dare you post what I wrote as last weeks column!!! You over-stepped the boundaries on this one, “Rob”. Sure, I did dare you to post it.…
  • 04/02 - Im Pissed! (by Stephen Johnson)
    You bet I’m pissed!!!!!! Am I pissed about McCarthyism? No. Am I pissed about those ruffians with their slicked back hair, driving around in their hot rods while they listen…

This year’s Lunatic Ravings!