Actual phone conversation from 6/14/21:
“You need to get a Facebook account.”
“Why?”
“Research says we need to hit social media in order to make money.”
“Wait…..we make money?”
“Well…….”
“I’m not comfortable with Facebook or any social media. I’m just trying that influencing thing. You know, for free stuff.”
“You’re what?”
“Nothing.”
(something mumbled about lawyers and contracts)
“Plus I have no idea how to use a computer.”
“Oh? How are you posting these columns?”
(something mumbled about how a dirty, dirty liar I am)
“You have a week to build a profile on Facebook. We will need to approve it, of course.”
“Of course”.
“Now let’s talk about your columns. Not much thought is going into these.”
“Oh my goodness! I just cut off my pinky toe with one of those cat lasers!”
“Stephen?”
“………………..”