The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 3

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

Devin Townsend Project—Ghost

MoTW—Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

(Note: For those that care, in the last column I mistakenly used the
date of 7/31 when it should have been 7/30. Don’t want to fuck with your
mind and have you think I’m living in an alternate universe when, in
actual fact, I might be. Confusing, huh?)

Saturday, 7/30/11

No more listing of times, no siree bob.

We’ll say that we got to the hotel around 4 and go from there…….

We checked on and carried our luggage to our room. Nice room, I got a
smoking one which didn’t please the woman. Oh well.

Debated on taking a shower but decided against it. Called mother and
told her we were heading on over. She said she was excited to see us,
but who knows. I was tired.

Only got lost for a little while even when using a GPS and then righted
ourselves and headed over to mother’s new home.

When we got there, mother and brother were there to great us and we
walked around the house and I found a comfy chair on the back porch and
sat my ass down. Soon a cold Coors Light was in front of me and I drank
quite greedily as the woman was taken on a tour of the house.

I initially declined because a) I wanted to sit down and drink a beer
and, b) that’s a chick thing.

Brother and I talked small talk stuff and I was kind of interested but
not really. I finished my beer and was offered another which I accepted.

More small talk and then mother and the woman were back and it was
decided that the grill was to be started because I looked tired and
probably needed to hit the sack. Really? Could have fooled me.

Then it was my turn to take a tour and I must admit that her new digs
were pretty spectacular. Huge too. You couldn’t tell from the outside
but this place was fucking huge. Still, she SOLD MY CHILDHOOD HOME, so I
couldn’t seem too impressed.

Dinner was soon ready, we had small talk at the dinner table and I had
another beer. Then we were done and sat around talking about some more
stuff and then we decided that it was time for me to go back to the
hotel to get some rest.

That worked for me.

We said our goodbyes and told them we would be back the next day and we
were off. We got back to the hotel and changed into our bedtime clothes
and, as the woman slept, I watched tv.

Then I too went to sleep.

And that was that. FIrst day of our roadtrip was over.

COMING NEXT: It has to get more interesting, right? How about the
drunken vomiting?

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beggining. The idea of writing weekly columns (blogs didn't exist yet) also came from Stephen. So I guess that makes him the creator of the "blog" phenomena.

https://theweirdcrap.com

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