The 2010 Roadtrip: Part 5

High On Fire—Snakes For The Divine

MoTW—The Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans

Tuesday 8/3

6:00 am: Woke to a new day. Made sure the tv was tuned to TBS to catch
an episode of "Married With Children" then threw on sweats and headed
outside for my morning breakfast of a couple smokes, a diet Dew and
"Under The Dome".

6:25 am: Back in bed watching "Married…".

7:15 am: The woman woke up and took a shower then headed down to get

7:45 am: I decide it's time to take a shower.

8:20 am: All done with making myself pretty. The woman is back and tells
me that there's a busload of Asian students that were the ones making
all the noise at night. Fuckers!

9:00 am: Head over the sister's house. Today we are going to the Jersey

9:20 am: While waiting for sister to wake and feed her spawn, I'm
praying I run into the cast of "Jersey Shore". Just want to fuck them up
a bit.

10:15 am: We're on our way! I notice that sister's car is making a funny
noise. I tell her this, she basically tells me to shut the fuck up, she
knows, she needs to bring it in to get fixed, blah, blah, blah. Like I
truly care.

11:30 am: No mishaps on the way. Strange, because I was expecting one.
Oh well. We're at the beach. After almost 30 years, I am back visiting
the Atlantic Ocean!

11:45 am: We find a nice spot, I set up my chair, grab my book and start

12:30 pm: I'm still reading. Do I want to go into the water? Fuck no! I
WANT TO FUCKING READ. The spawn are a little bit depressed about this.
Oh well.

1:30 pm: Great book. Still reading.

2:00 pm: It's voted on and I don't care: everyone wants to go to another
beach. I follow.

2:15 pm: We're at the other beach. I set up my chair and resume reading.

2:45 pm: I think we should leave? Maybe to miss rush hour traffic?

3:00 pm: We leave. My face really fucking hurts.

3:20 pm: I've had to endure a lot of statements on how burned I was.
It'll work it's way down to a nice tan so I don't care. Everyone can
just shut up.

3:25 pm: Stop at McDonald's to get the spawn some ice cream. Pretty long
line at the drive-thru so I recommend that sister goes in because it
would be quicker.

3:40 pm: How wrong I was.

3:45 pm: We leave McDonald's.

4:30 pm: We arrive at sister's house. The woman and I are feeling greasy
and decide we would head back to the hotel, take a shower, change
clothes and then head back to sister's because they was going to be a
barbecue. In honor of me, of course.

4:50: Back at the hotel and we did what was outlined above.

6:00 pm: Headed back to sister's house.

6:20 pm: Started drinking.

6:30 pm – 9:30 pm: More drinking. Folks showed up and we talked about
stuff, ranging from my time spent in prison to politics.

9:45 pm: Someone decided to bring up boxing gloves and soon the spawn
were boxing. It was fun until the older spawn took it a bit too
seriously when the younger spawn was clearly kicking his ass. Then it
was no fun.

10:05 pm: It became fun again when sister and one of her friends decided
they wanted to fight. CAT FIGHT!!!!!!

(Sidenote: A video of the boxing once existed, but it's been lost due to
someone's phone getting drowned. Oh, that was mine? Well I'll be.)

11:15 pm: Everyone left so we decided to leave too. We could have helped
with the cleanup, but it's vacation. So, not going to happen.

11:45 pm: In bed watching Shark Week. Have to get ready for tomorrow
since it's ANOTHER barbecue.

COMING NEXT: Yeah, I know this sucks, but have to continue with it since
it's now a tradition in my own little mind.

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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