More Pieces Adding Up To Four

The Devin Townsend Band—“Synchestra”

MoTW—“Cat Ballou”

And so it continues with the hope that my issues and pains help someone
somewhere….

The whole problem with vengeance was finding the right vengeance to
prove my point about something to my parents.

I first thought about running away, figuring they would worry enough to
break down in tears and beg for my return. Then I remembered the last
time I ran away………

I had fucked up something and figured that living on the streets of our
Leave it to Beaver-like hood would be much better than facing the wrath
of pops. So I got on my Schwinn Varsity and took off to the one place I
would feel safe and comfortable: the public library.

This was the same place where Eddie and I picked out some of the new
arrivals, went into the bathroom, shoved them down our pants and walked
out with a few books that we really didn’t need, but figured they would
look good next to the other books that we had stolen and were now part
of Ed’s growing collection. Since my mom was always digging through my
room hoping to find another smut novel hidden somewhere and Ed’s mother
was a single working mom and he had a maid who didn’t give a shit what
he had in his room, his place was the safest.

Anyway, I hung out at the library reading some magazines until they
announced that they would be closing in 10 minutes. The fear hit me then
since I hadn’t figured on them closing and now I had to make a decision
on where to travel to next.

After much pondering, I figured the school was as good a place as any.
So, off I went and as luck would have it, wrestling practice was still
being held so I had a good place to hang out and think about my next
move.

I had finally decided that I would leave the gym and find somewhere in
the school to sleep and to make sure that I woke up in plenty of time to
leave the school so it looked like I had come from home to school
instead of looking like a homeless waif, which I was hoping upon hope to
become but didn’t want the other students to know since I would probably
become the subject of ridicule and scorn.

Happy with my awesome plan, I waited for the right time to leave but my
well laid plan was dashed when I saw my pops walk into the gym.

He saw me and came over and asked if I was ready to come home. I broke
down like a little pussy told him I was so he loaded my bike into the
back of the car and took me home.

I don’t know what I had done to make me want to leave, but I wasn’t
punished. Mom had actually kept my dinner warm and they left me alone
while I ate and when I was getting ready for bed. As a matter of fact,
nothing was ever mentioned about my “running away”. I don’t know why,
maybe there was a lesson about something I was supposed to learn and
it’s really sad I can’t remember what that lesson was.

……….so running away wasn’t an option.

I thought and though some more and decided that my best vengeance would
come in the form of a little monkey.

I set my alarm to wake me up early the next morning and started
laughing. I laughed and laughed as visions of little monkeys ran through
my mind and then I felt a strange feeling coursing through my body and
soon found that I had developed my first ever erection.

I stopped laughing and thinking about monkeys because it made me feel
unclean and cheap for some reason and eventually I drifted off to sleep.

COMING NEXT: Monkey vengeance!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

https://theweirdcrap.com

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