I’m Better Than a 13 Year-Old

In This Moment—Beautiful Tragedy


Here I am again with absolutely nothing to say.

I guess it would be fun taking a month or so off from writing about
stuff, but then the nasty emails start coming from the editor demanding
to know why I haven't submitted anything new for awhile and that maybe
it's time I grew up and realize what a lovely opportunity I've been
given to type up shit and let people from around the world maybe read
about what I've gots to say.

And what's my response? Absolutely nothing. I just find myself sitting
in the thinking room (actually a corner of the basement) hoping
something comes to me, something that I find interesting at that moment
but find at a later date that it wasn't that good at all.
Yet something keeps me going. Something pops up that annoys me or
something happens that starts off a madcap adventure, and this past week
was really no different.

Not a madcap adventure mind you, but something that really annoyed me.
It had to do with something that's really annoyed for the last few years
but then someone really annoying became a part of this show that's
really annoying causing me to become even more annoyed and then even
more annoyed when this annoying person appeared on one of those morning
shows which caused the annoyance to become even more annoying.

I think I might have mentioned this before, but maybe not so I'm going
to go ahead and let you in on a little secret: I have cried before.

When I was a baby I'm sure I cried. I cried when I slid down the ladder
of the high dive and ended up smacking my ass on the railing causing my
inability to walk normally for a week. I'm sure I cried when I fell of a
bike, when grounded, when getting a haircut, when caught lighting
matches since I was a pyro, watching "Rocky" for the first time (ok, and
everytime after), at the end of "Rainman", failing gym and having to go
to summer school plus many, many other times, some to personal to go
into deeply with someone the likes of you.

With that said, I have never ever ever cried at someone's musical
performance. No matter how young I was. Not even that time when I fell
off the bike and landed headfirst on the pavement causing me a couple
weeks of severe brain damage which I have (supposedly) gotten over. I've
gotten the warm and fuzzy feeling while watching a live performance or
listening to certain albums, but have never cried.

But when Shalamar or whatever the fuck Breck boy's real name is
"performed" this past week on that piece of shit show I can't bring
myself to mention this week, there, towards the first row or maybe
actually in the first row (I don't fucking know I caught clips the next
day, so sue me), was that girl crying as if she had discovered the cure
for anal warts.

This made her a fucking star.

This made me fucking angry.

And nothing really came out of my anger. It's weird, I got angry over
her crying because she was pathetic and needs a life or something and
then I didn't think about it again until today and when I'm done with
this I'll be over it.

I mean, how can I trash a pathetic 13 year-old and her obvious wrong
taste in music? She's a kid and doesn't know better. Hell, when I was a
kid I thought that Liberace was the bees knees and look what I listen to

But I didn't cry so I'm better than she is. Take THAT 13 year old!

COMING NEXT: I mock more of the youth or someone equally as

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!


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