The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 7

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

Anthrax—Worship Music

MoTW—The China Syndrome

Monday, whatever date it is.

Again I woke up early, around 6, grabbed a Diet Dew, smokes and my book
and went outside to do my morning thing as the woman continued to sleep.

The plan for this day was to go to Rehoboth Beach so I could see the
fucking ocean from Delaware, just though I’d throw that in there so you
know there was a “plan”.

After finishing my morning thing I went back to the room and lay down
and checked out what was on tv. Then I fell asleep.

The woman woke up a few hours later no worse for the wear and told me
she was going to check out some stores and would be back around 11 so we
could go to the beach. Good enough.

So back to sleep I went and finally really woke up at around 10 and
decided to take a shower, which I did, and then the woman came back and
said she had talked to mother and that she wanted to go to the beach
with us. Oh joy.

We then headed over to mother’s and I had a beer and then we headed to
the beach. Now, mother is like 500 years old and I had a really bad
feeling about this.

We got to the beach and I was excited cause there was a boardwalk and
all sorts of fun things to do so I wandered away from the woman and
mother and found a nice little bar on the boardwalk and ordered myself a
beer.

The two showed up and decided they wanted a drink also, but
non-alcoholic. Good thing for the woman, I suppose.

Then they decided they were hungry and got a couple slices of pizza so I
got myself another beer.

Finished we headed out and found a game with a squirt gun and I
guaranteed the woman I could beat her so she took me up on my offer and
the game began.

Of course, since I’m a guy, I had better aim and my horsie beat her
horsie since I was able to hit the target and I won myself a nice
stuffed cow. Then, out of the goodness of my kind heart, I gave it to
the woman.

SInce it was very hot and mother is something like 800 years old, the
woman though it wouldn’t be wise for her to be out in the sun too long
so they headed into a store and I hung outside to smoke and check out
the sites (hint: bikinis).

Done with their shopping they came out and the woman told me mother was
getting tired and that we should head back. I thought this was bullshit
since we had only been there for a fucking hour so I sulked and we
headed back to the car.

Of course I got the last laugh and forced them to join me at the same
bar where I had a couple more beers.

This fun over we headed back to the car and headed back to mother’s
place where we hung for a little bit and then headed out for dinner at
some Italian place where I had a hamburger because that’s what I felt
like having.

Then we dropped mother off and headed back to the hotel where I watched
more Shark Week, after making sure my bags were mostly packed for the
next part of our journey.

Then I slept.

So yeah….really exciting day.

COMING NEXT: I wish, as much as you do, that this would end

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beggining. The idea of writing weekly columns (blogs didn't exist yet) also came from Stephen. So I guess that makes him the creator of the "blog" phenomena.

https://theweirdcrap.com

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