The Real Story OF That Trip: Part 7

Lillian Axe—Waters Rising


Let's play Mad Libs!

Half-naked, I _______ over to the pickup truck prepared to do what was
meant to be done.

Cackling wildly, he rummaged around the cab of the pickup and picked up
a ______ of peanut butter.

"Go ahead and spread some of this in your ______
crack while I go get a chicken," he said and exited the vehicle.

I stifled a ______ and reached into the ______ of _____ butter and
pulled out a large ________ which I spread _______ up and down my
_______ crack.

To my _______ it actually felt quite ______. So good that I pulled out
another _______ and spread some on my _______ and _______. I then ______
a little _______ because I suddenly felt _____ and nobody was going to
_____ that _____ from ____.

I placed the ______ of peanut butter on the hood and looked over at the
old man and noticed that instead of legs he had a couple of _______
metallic ______.

"What the _______ happened to your ______ legs you _______ old ______
piece of ______?" I asked as a ______ trickle of ______ ran down my
butter coated _____.

"A nasty _____ accident on the farm when I was a _________. Don't you
worry about me though, worry about our little friend here," he replied
as he held up a _______ chicken.

As he walked torwards me I noticed that the chicken was missing its
_______. What a weird scenario.

"It's time son. ______ over and let the chicken work some _____. I've
done this many times before so believe me when I tell you that it won't

So as the cars whizzed by I ______ over and let the old man take the
chicken and _______ jam it up my _______ so far that I felt it's beak
_______ my _______ causing me to ______ and tighten up which must have
surprised the ______ because it tried to ______ out but I had such a
______ on it that it only succeeded in beheading itself.

The old man ______ as he backed away holding a headless chicken body
with blood spurting every which way, some of it even spurting from my

"You ______ my chicken you heartless ______!" he yelled as he threw down
the headless chicken and picked up a rusty ______ that just so happened
to be lying in the road.

Instead of using the ______ on me he began ______ the rest of the
chickens in the back of the truck. Soon there was nothing but a thick
______ of spraying blood and white feathers covering our little section
of the highway.

The _______ was so thick that I didn't notice the truck until it was too
late. It ______ into the back of the pickup and ______ of the _______
was soon mingling with the chicken blood and feathers.

As I ______ to the ______, the truck came to a _____ and a ________
jumped from the cab. _____ came over to me and gently ______ my ______
and as my ______ closed, _____ gently picked me up and _______ me over
to the soft, golden _____ and ______ me ______.

"Shhhhh," my saviour said as ____ continued to gently ______ my ______.
"I'm here now. Everything will be _____."

COMING NEXT: I think it's time for this ____ to _____.

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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