Rescued!!! What Really Happened!

Go ahead and read Bob’s last post, “Rescued!!!”

Now I’m going to tell you about my little secret or two from that night.

This was the night that Bob told his famous Afghanistan Pecan Pie joke. If done right (I think), this joke can last for a good 30 minutes or so.

When the punchline came, I thought it was the funniest thing I had ever heard. And I laughed. A lot. Heck, I’m still chuckling a bit now.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but after a bit I got really annoyed since it dawned on me that Bob had just wasted at least 30 minutes of my life with that joke so I let him drink and drink.

When he had to go to the bathroom, I did follow but not to make sure he didn’t fall and hit his head on something since that would have helped especially if he split his head open.

Well, he did fall and knock himself out but with no head splittage it was a little bit more difficult to insert a chip into his head, but I managed to do so before he woke up.

Everyone knows that after a chip is inserted you should not drink any alcohol. Just ask dogs and cats. They know. So, no more drinks for Bob that night.

Bob did want to drive home, but lots of people know that you cannot drive after a chip has been inserted in your head. After hypnotizing Bob, I got his keys, tossed him in the back seat of my Festiva (he’s a tiny man), drove him home and dumped him just inside the door of his apartment.

Back to his car I went. For the rest of the night I took apart his car and moved it piece by piece to another bar, this one not on the top of his hill. As the sun started coming up, I finished the job and only then realized I till had his keys and could have driven it there.

Brought him to his car, and he didn’t even know. Until now.

Best thing about this is that I finally got the app to control the chip in his head.

Now the fun starts!

More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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