When I woke up, there was no millipede.
I also wasn’t hanging upside down.
But it felt like something was being jabbed into each armpit.
I looked down and saw the HR lady.
She had me suspended in the air with two broomstick handles jabbed into those armpits.
She walked around the office holding onto the bottom of the broomsticks, making care not to drop me.
“Say,” I said.
“Say what?”
“Oh me, oh my! I feel like I’m in a circus!”
She let go of the handles and I fell to the floor.
“Now do you remember what Bob did?” she asked as she fiddled with the tv remote.
“Still…..ahhhh…..no?”
She threw the remote at my head.
“THAT’S IT! ENOUGH OF THIS! WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS GO BACK THROUGH ALL YOUR STUPID COLUMNS AND FIGURE OUT WHAT EXACTLY IT IS!”
I thought about this for a moment.
“Hey! I exclaimed. “That’s a pretty good idea!”
Then my phone rang.
More Lunatic Ravings…
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