I am going to continue with my rant on drivers.
See, after about 12 beers, I was making my way home at about 730 one evening. I did have the ole cruise control on so I had no problem driving straight.
Anyway, I was going the speed limit since those damn lines were moving on their own and I see a little white pickup truck speeding down the road!!!!
I am not kidding!!!!
So, this guy passes me ( remember I obey the law ) and I am thinking to myself that maybe this guy was trying to impress some dumb chick that was a passenger in his truck.
But that was not it. He was alone. Then it dawned on me. The only reason this guy was speeding was because he was trying to justify the fact that his penis is the size of a toothpick and he was only trying to impress himself. Gosh golly gee, I thought, what a man!!!!
Then some chick sped by me. At first I thought it was because she was late picking up her illegitimate kid. But then I realized…………
Hey, this chick was really, really fat and she did not have the strength to lift her really, really fat leg of the accelerator, so she had no choice but to speed!!!!
So, this is my theory: Guys that speed have really small penises. Women that speed are really, really fat.
By the way, I did make it home all right cause I am a good driver.