Not Just Mini Vans…

I am going to continue with my rant on drivers.

See, after about 12 beers, I was making my way home at about 730 one evening. I did have the ole cruise control on so I had no problem driving straight.

Anyway, I was going the speed limit since those damn lines were moving on their own and I see a little white pickup truck speeding down the road!!!!

I am not kidding!!!!

So, this guy passes me ( remember I obey the law ) and I am thinking to myself that maybe this guy was trying to impress some dumb chick that was a passenger in his truck.

But that was not it. He was alone. Then it dawned on me. The only reason this guy was speeding was because he was trying to justify the fact that his penis is the size of a toothpick and he was only trying to impress himself. Gosh golly gee, I thought, what a man!!!!

Then some chick sped by me. At first I thought it was because she was late picking up her illegitimate kid. But then I realized…………

Hey, this chick was really, really fat and she did not have the strength to lift her really, really fat leg of the accelerator, so she had no choice but to speed!!!!

So, this is my theory: Guys that speed have really small penises. Women that speed are really, really fat.

By the way, I did make it home all right cause I am a good driver.

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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