The Interview Continues WIth Limited Interruptions!

More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Accept—Stalingrad: Brothers In Death

MoTW—A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas

It’s been awhile since I last posted (at least I do), but there’s been a

few bad things that have happened causing my posting stoppage.

But no matter, this interview MUST continue!

When we last left off, Bob had stormed away because I guess I had

“crossed the line”. Good thing there was plenty of liquor (and not much

else) in his refrigerator because he soon forgot what he was mad about

and the interview continued!

Me: Are you drunk? Are you feeling good now?

Bob: Yep!

M: So back to the last question,,,,why don’t your kids write me?

B: That was the last question?

M: For all intents and purposes, let’s say it was.

B: Okie dokie!

M: So what’s your answer?

B: (belches) Got me! Kinda funny though, isn’t it?

M: Not really. Truthfully, it really, really hurts.

B: Weenie!

This continued for awhile, me asking those prying questions, him

answering as only a drunken lout would. The worst thing was probably me

being completely sober.

What happened was I was back in jail for a couple days, all because of

the woman.

See, she had seen a couple garbage cans in a ditch next to a Burger King

and they had been there for awhile so she figured it was ok to pick them

up and bring them home since you can never have enough garbage cans,

especially on windy days.

Well, the manager of BK didn’t see it that way and yelled at the woman

to leave them alone since they were their garbage cans, but the woman

thought the manager was on crack and took the cans anyway.

Luckily, the manager had the foresight to write down the woman’s license

plate number and soon after she came home, the cops showed up.

Of course I had no idea what had happened, so asked the cops to get off

my fucking property or I would call other cops who would make them get

off my property. Then I guess I threatened them by saying that I knew

how to piledrive people since I watch lots of wrestling and the next

myself and the neighbours knew I was in a cop mobile heading to the

local jail.

Typically nothing happened to the woman because she denied ever going

near the BK (“Why would I go near such a low class place like that?” she

asked the cops and I guess they agreed), so she got away with stealing.

She also let me stay in jail for the couple days since that gave her

plenty of free time to Ebay. At least I got three hot meals a day, and

she got a good laugh out of the whole situation. Now she’s probably

destined for a life of crime. That’s how it goes.

But that’s not the only bad thing that happened….

COMING NEXT: You really think the interview will continue?

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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