More Lunatic Ravings…
Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!
Accept—Stalingrad: Brothers In Death
MoTW—A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas
It’s been awhile since I last posted (at least I do), but there’s been a
few bad things that have happened causing my posting stoppage.
But no matter, this interview MUST continue!
When we last left off, Bob had stormed away because I guess I had
“crossed the line”. Good thing there was plenty of liquor (and not much
else) in his refrigerator because he soon forgot what he was mad about
and the interview continued!
Me: Are you drunk? Are you feeling good now?
Bob: Yep!
M: So back to the last question,,,,why don’t your kids write me?
B: That was the last question?
M: For all intents and purposes, let’s say it was.
B: Okie dokie!
M: So what’s your answer?
B: (belches) Got me! Kinda funny though, isn’t it?
M: Not really. Truthfully, it really, really hurts.
B: Weenie!
This continued for awhile, me asking those prying questions, him
answering as only a drunken lout would. The worst thing was probably me
being completely sober.
What happened was I was back in jail for a couple days, all because of
the woman.
See, she had seen a couple garbage cans in a ditch next to a Burger King
and they had been there for awhile so she figured it was ok to pick them
up and bring them home since you can never have enough garbage cans,
especially on windy days.
Well, the manager of BK didn’t see it that way and yelled at the woman
to leave them alone since they were their garbage cans, but the woman
thought the manager was on crack and took the cans anyway.
Luckily, the manager had the foresight to write down the woman’s license
plate number and soon after she came home, the cops showed up.
Of course I had no idea what had happened, so asked the cops to get off
my fucking property or I would call other cops who would make them get
off my property. Then I guess I threatened them by saying that I knew
how to piledrive people since I watch lots of wrestling and the next
myself and the neighbours knew I was in a cop mobile heading to the
local jail.
Typically nothing happened to the woman because she denied ever going
near the BK (“Why would I go near such a low class place like that?” she
asked the cops and I guess they agreed), so she got away with stealing.
She also let me stay in jail for the couple days since that gave her
plenty of free time to Ebay. At least I got three hot meals a day, and
she got a good laugh out of the whole situation. Now she’s probably
destined for a life of crime. That’s how it goes.
But that’s not the only bad thing that happened….
COMING NEXT: You really think the interview will continue?
