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Lunatic Ravings! was originally called, “I’m Pissed!” but we changed the name for syndication with a real network. Well, that company folded so we just kept the name!
Stephen is the first blogger in the world with the first column published in 1999. Find it in the Archives.
Recent Ramblings
Now You’ll Know Where George Got His Idea
June 25, 2022Skim Bob’s column about how we met and you’ll notice something strange yet familiar.Those that have swell reading retention might notice that a certain motion picture from the 80’s stole our real life adventure and made into a space movie. Yet we got zero stinking…
Read MoreKids These Days. Sheesh!
June 18, 2022This past Tuesday a couple kids decided to sell lemonade at the end of their driveway which just so happened to be directly across the street from me. You know,m they’re kids, they need money for something I guess. The woman had already purchased three…
Read MoreBaking Lasagna And Wasting Our Time
June 12, 2022I’m currently baking lasagna so have time to waste. Yours AND mine!For those wondering, this is NOT made from scratch. If it was, that would mean that I would have had to grow the cheese, the sauce, the noodles, the meat and whatever else is…
Read MoreMaybe It Was Me?
June 4, 2022I had some interesting things to tell all you folks last week but something happened so I didn’t tell you anything at all. We have a storage shed located somewhere north of Las Vegas. I decided to fly out there a couple weeks ago to…
Read MoreSee? I Wasn’t Lying!
May 21, 2022There’s been some people claiming that I’m making up all this stuff about us being in business well before the internet. Luckily for all of you doubters, Bob posted some very legit pictures of us before that said internet. That should make you all happy….
Read MoreLet’s Make The Dandelion A Flower And Other Crap
May 14, 2022Well, I got around 50 minutes of my life back since two shows that I watch(ed) were cancelled. Can I replace those shows with another show or shows? Sure. But I’m really excited that I’ll have around 50 minutes more to myself starting around September…
Read MoreThanks, Crest!
May 7, 2022Was going to go to the way back machine again but accidentally saw a commercial that really bugged the heck out of me. Basically, it told the story of a young girl and her teeth. You would think it was something from the days of…
Read MoreNo Shortages With Coke
April 30, 2022In 1986 we finally got a copier!It cost quite a bit of money back then but price didn’t matter to us since we were using the cocaine. We might have bought the copier with cocaine, but the 80’s are mostly a blur to me for…
Read MoreWe Have New Neighbors!
April 23, 2022Didn’t notice until today that we have new neighbors!Should have figured it out when there wasn’t a temporary barricade built in the fall season so any leaves in our yard didn’t happen to blow into theirs. This hasn’t happened for a few years, so I…
Read MoreWait! What’s With This New Chick Shit For Chic Chicks?
April 16, 2022I just noticed something. Someone is pretending to be Melissa Paternik. Someone has stolen her fine name and has been submitting posts to “Chick Shit For Chic Chicks” claiming to be her. For one thing, I have to admit “Chick Shit For Chic Chicks” is…
Read MoreSomebody Stole My Radio
April 9, 2022“Somebody stole my radio.”I found that old chestnut in one of the print versions of TheWeirdcrap!Guess during that time I drank heavily. Seems that I went to a bar and instead of listening to the band, I drank and listened to what I wanted to…
Read MoreRecall/No Recall
April 2, 2022I don’t recall writing a column about Eggeberg Humptydink back in 1967 as stated by Bob. I also do not remember writing that blurb about Kiss in 1974, also stated by Bob. But I do remember writing this in 1981:“This is it. “Music From ‘The…
Read MoreA New Email And Some Old Stuff
March 26, 2022I got this email regarding my “No X 100” post from 3/19/22. Ahem. “I have no idea what your last post is about…is there a second part that explains it all?” I told them to read it again and to get back to me if…
Read MoreThose Dog Days
March 12, 2022Eh. Go ahead and read Bob’s column from 3/7/22. When I saw the first paragraph and a picture was mentioned, I went into full-on panic mode.Thankfully Bob is still following the rules of the law layeth down upon him many, many years ago. We were…
Read MoreA Trip Down Memory Lane
March 5, 2022I remember when The Weirdcrap existed before the internet. Many, MANY years ago this began. We didn’t know what a computer was so we scrawled stuff on paper with crayons and handed them out in whatever town we happened to be passing thru. I remember…
Read MoreThe Jerome Saga Part Whatever: The Quickening
February 26, 2022I don’t know what happened, but Jerome laid down some hard truth on me. Seems that if I write about what’s going on with Bob and him, then the whole world would know, including Bob.For some reason, I didn’t take this into account and now…
Read MoreJerome Doesn’t Want To Live There Anymore
February 13, 2022There was another phone call. “Hello?”“Jerome? Again?”“You’ve gotta help me.”“Geez, what now?”“Bob found me after I called you. He took me to his home. Then he put me in his BASEMENT!”“His basement?”“Yeah, you know. The one with the pee hole!”“Oh, wow.”“And now he’s trying to…
Read MoreThe OTHER Return Of Jerome
February 5, 2022It all started with a phone call.“What??!!”“Is this Stephen Johnson?”“Let’s pretend it is. Who’s this?”“It’s Jerome, I need your help. They’re after me!”“Sure, Jerome. Sure they are.”“You gotta come get me before they do!”“Who’s after you?”“Don’t worry about it, can you come get me?”“Not until…
Read MoreWait. Did He Mention Jerome?
January 29, 2022If you read the latest column from Bob (mostly filled with lies, as usual) and made it to the very, very end, you might have noticed what’s coming next from him. And you’re probably asking yourself, “Jerome? He’s still around?” Your guess is as good…
Read MoreFrom The Lunatic Ravings Archive
And I Thought This Would All Be Over
February 8, 2010Wolfmother—Cosmic EggMoTW—Gran TorinoTen years ago (not 7, as it's stated somewhere on this site) I was givenan opportunity to try and make a difference in the world by writing a"weekly" column with the promise of worldwide fame and fortune. At first I was hesitant. I…
Read MoreTasty Succulent Legs
September 25, 2005By Stephen JohnsonPeter Frampton—“Breaking All the Rules”MoTW—“Dead & Breakfast”I missed National Talk Like a Pirate Day on 9/19. I don’t know why I missed it since someone had kindly sent me a reminderthat it was coming up, and I was chock full of excitement. Yet…
Read MoreComplete Lunatics Archives can be found HERE
