Lunatic Ravings!

Lunatic Ravings!

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Lunatic Ravings! was originally called, “I’m Pissed!” but we changed the name for syndication with a real network. Well, that company folded so we just kept the name!

Stephen is the first blogger in the world with the first column published in 1999. Find it in the Archives.

Recent Ramblings

Now You’ll Know Where George Got His Idea

June 25, 2022

Skim Bob’s column about how we met and you’ll notice something strange yet familiar.Those that have swell reading retention might notice that a certain motion picture from the 80’s stole our real life adventure and made into a space movie. Yet we got zero stinking…

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Kids These Days. Sheesh!

June 18, 2022

This past Tuesday a couple kids decided to sell lemonade at the end of their driveway which just so happened to be directly across the street from me. You know,m they’re kids, they need money for something I guess. The woman had already purchased three…

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Baking Lasagna And Wasting Our Time

June 12, 2022

I’m currently baking lasagna so have time to waste. Yours AND mine!For those wondering, this is NOT made from scratch. If it was, that would mean that I would have had to grow the cheese, the sauce, the noodles, the meat and whatever else is…

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Maybe It Was Me?

June 4, 2022

I had some interesting things to tell all you folks last week but something happened so I didn’t tell you anything at all. We have a storage shed located somewhere north of Las Vegas. I decided to fly out there a couple weeks ago to…

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See? I Wasn’t Lying!

May 21, 2022

There’s been some people claiming that I’m making up all this stuff about us being in business well before the internet. Luckily for all of you doubters, Bob posted some very legit pictures of us before that said internet. That should make you all happy….

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Let’s Make The Dandelion A Flower And Other Crap

May 14, 2022

Well, I got around 50 minutes of my life back since two shows that I watch(ed) were cancelled. Can I replace those shows with another show or shows? Sure. But I’m really excited that I’ll have around 50 minutes more to myself starting around September…

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Thanks, Crest!

May 7, 2022

Was going to go to the way back machine again but accidentally saw a commercial that really bugged the heck out of me. Basically, it told the story of a young girl and her teeth. You would think it was something from the days of…

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No Shortages With Coke

April 30, 2022

In 1986 we finally got a copier!It cost quite a bit of money back then but price didn’t matter to us since we were using the cocaine. We might have bought the copier with cocaine, but the 80’s are mostly a blur to me for…

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We Have New Neighbors!

April 23, 2022

Didn’t notice until today that we have new neighbors!Should have figured it out when there wasn’t a temporary barricade built in the fall season so any leaves in our yard didn’t happen to blow into theirs. This hasn’t happened for a few years, so I…

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Wait! What’s With This New Chick Shit For Chic Chicks?

April 16, 2022

I just noticed something. Someone is pretending to be Melissa Paternik. Someone has stolen her fine name and has been submitting posts to “Chick Shit For Chic Chicks” claiming to be her. For one thing, I have to admit “Chick Shit For Chic Chicks” is…

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Somebody Stole My Radio

April 9, 2022

“Somebody stole my radio.”I found that old chestnut in one of the print versions of TheWeirdcrap!Guess during that time I drank heavily. Seems that I went to a bar and instead of listening to the band, I drank and listened to what I wanted to…

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Recall/No Recall

April 2, 2022

I don’t recall writing a column about Eggeberg Humptydink back in 1967 as stated by Bob. I also do not remember writing that blurb about Kiss in 1974, also stated by Bob. But I do remember writing this in 1981:“This is it. “Music From ‘The…

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A New Email And Some Old Stuff

March 26, 2022

I got this email regarding my “No X 100” post from 3/19/22. Ahem. “I have no idea what your last post is about…is there a second part that explains it all?” I told them to read it again and to get back to me if…

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No X 100

March 19, 2022

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no…

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Those Dog Days

March 12, 2022

Eh. Go ahead and read Bob’s column from 3/7/22. When I saw the first paragraph and a picture was mentioned, I went into full-on panic mode.Thankfully Bob is still following the rules of the law layeth down upon him many, many years ago. We were…

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A Trip Down Memory Lane

March 5, 2022

I remember when The Weirdcrap existed before the internet. Many, MANY years ago this began. We didn’t know what a computer was so we scrawled stuff on paper with crayons and handed them out in whatever town we happened to be passing thru. I remember…

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The Jerome Saga Part Whatever: The Quickening

February 26, 2022

I don’t know what happened, but Jerome laid down some hard truth on me. Seems that if I write about what’s going on with Bob and him, then the whole world would know, including Bob.For some reason, I didn’t take this into account and now…

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Jerome Doesn’t Want To Live There Anymore

February 13, 2022

There was another phone call. “Hello?”“Jerome? Again?”“You’ve gotta help me.”“Geez, what now?”“Bob found me after I called you. He took me to his home. Then he put me in his BASEMENT!”“His basement?”“Yeah, you know. The one with the pee hole!”“Oh, wow.”“And now he’s trying to…

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The OTHER Return Of Jerome

February 5, 2022

It all started with a phone call.“What??!!”“Is this Stephen Johnson?”“Let’s pretend it is. Who’s this?”“It’s Jerome, I need your help. They’re after me!”“Sure, Jerome. Sure they are.”“You gotta come get me before they do!”“Who’s after you?”“Don’t worry about it, can you come get me?”“Not until…

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Wait. Did He Mention Jerome?

January 29, 2022

If you read the latest column from Bob (mostly filled with lies, as usual) and made it to the very, very end, you might have noticed what’s coming next from him. And you’re probably asking yourself, “Jerome? He’s still around?” Your guess is as good…

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From The Lunatic Ravings Archive

And I Thought This Would All Be Over

February 8, 2010

Wolfmother—Cosmic EggMoTW—Gran TorinoTen years ago (not 7, as it's stated somewhere on this site) I was givenan opportunity to try and make a difference in the world by writing a"weekly" column with the promise of worldwide fame and fortune. At first I was hesitant. I…

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Tasty Succulent Legs

September 25, 2005

By Stephen JohnsonPeter Frampton—“Breaking All the Rules”MoTW—“Dead & Breakfast”I missed National Talk Like a Pirate Day on 9/19. I don’t know why I missed it since someone had kindly sent me a reminderthat it was coming up, and I was chock full of excitement. Yet…

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Complete Lunatics Archives can be found HERE