Maturity? Really?

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

City Boy—Book Early

MoTW—Cowboys & Aliens

Just got done reading Bob’s latest antics and I must say that I am
totally depressed.

From what I read, he’s a complete klutz and….mature? He matured in the
last 10 years?

Wine for dinner? Work? A salad for lunch? Upraised pinkies? What would
have caused this?

When I visited last year, I saw nothing of this. As a matter of fact, I
don’t remember exactly what happened when I visited, but I sure as hell
didn’t see any maturity.

With no choice but to delve deeper into this “maturity” thing, I’m going
to interview Bob. I’m going to find out what brought on this “maturity”.
Is it all a lie? Is it so bad that he’s lying to everyone and
everything, including his diary?

Stay tuned!

Talking about maturity…..

I did our weekly grocery shopping this morning and found a fantastic
deal on Chi Chi’s salsa, priced to sell at only .99. I don’t like salsa
but the woman does, so I picked up a couple bottles to show that I
really care.

When I showed her my find, she was impressed. So impressed that she
decided that she would pick up more when she got her ass out of the
house. I was good with that since the world is ending in about 11 short
months, so we gotta stock up on stuff so we have bartering material.

After puttering around for awhile, I decided to take a nap and while I
was having a dream about a lost pair of lost fuzzy read boots, a blonde
looking at me strangely and a half-smoked cigarette, the phone rang.

When I answered it, it was the woman and she was bitching because she
couldn’t find the salsa at the bargain price even though she was at the
same store where I found it.

With really nothing to add I just listened to her bitch and moan some
more and then she asked me what size the bottle was.

I hung up on her.

Now THAT’S maturity.

COMING NEXT: The interview of the century (or minute)

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beggining. The idea of writing weekly columns (blogs didn't exist yet) also came from Stephen. So I guess that makes him the creator of the "blog" phenomena.

https://theweirdcrap.com

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