I’m Not Gone (Or Daid)


Stephen here.

Yes, I’m alive.

I took the week off from writing a column since there was something I needed to take care of.

Less than 15 minutes after my deadline had passed, I received this email:

“Just checking in.  No column for this week? That’s NOT ok.”

Well, it’s pretty hard to write a column when you’re in the hospital due to scalp replacement surgery.

I called headquarters and told them this and was immediately told, “That’s not covered!” and then whoever answered (probably Helen that nail-painting……) hung up.

Jokes on them since it wasn’t me that needed the surgery.

Figured that if I cut off Jerome’s scalp and glued some wires and clips to his brain bone that would help conduct the electricity better so he would be the ultimate Live Air Dancer.

Of course one of the cats decided that his scalp was a tasty treat and I really didn’t want to wait for her to poop it out so to the hospital we went. Luckily that day only they offered free scalp replacement surgery. Don’t know, think it was something to get more customers.

Hold on, just got an email from the corporate office.

Oh, boy. This is not good.

Slait Piperiz is looking for Bob? And me?

After almost 25 years?


More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!


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