Something Happened Within the Last Few Days…

Something happened within the last few days that shocked and sickened me. Usually I do not get easily repulsed, but as you read this, you will find out why I am in the state I currently am in.

I was watching quality television programming–I do not remember if it was Teletubbies or Australian Rules Football–but I can guarantee that it was QUALITY television.

The program broke for commercial, and the first commercial showed a man dressed in white shorts runnung through the sand, in what looked to be a desert somewhere. So, he runs and runs and then we see a human pyramid consisting of five men, all dressed in white shorts. Back we go to the
running man and he finally reaches the pyramid and hops on top. They hold their position for a moment, then pyramid crumbles and all the men fall to the ground GIGGLING.

As I watch these men GIGGLING like little school girls, I am trying to figure what this ad is trying to sell.

Are they selling a new men’s cologne? NO!

Is it for a new dot-com company? NO!

Is it for a new kids cereal? NO!

IT IS FOR TAMPONS OR PADS OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL THEM!!!!!

What in the fuck did that commercial have to do with a feminine hygiene product? I am confused to this day.

It is not only that commercial. There’s the one that takes place during half-time of a football game and it shows cheerleaders squatting, jumping, doing cartwheels, etc., and we are told that Tampex was there!!!! Thank for the info. God forbid if they weren’t there.

I can remember that classy old commercial regarding feminine hygiene. It showed a mother and daughter walking on the beach, and the daughter turns to her mom and asks her a simple question. I have written the dialogue from that commercial below, as I remember it.

Daughter: “Mom, last night Jimmy told me that I smell down there.” (Daughter points towards her crotch)

Mom: (Let’s out a tiny laugh) “Jimmy is a fine boy. You are doing well by marrying him. But, you know, your father told me the same exact thing last month.”

Daughter: ( Gasps) “What did you do, mom?”

Mom: (Smiling) “I used a Massengill disposable douche. I have never felt so fresh and alive!”

Daughter: (Smiling) “Thanks, mom! Now I am to feel and smell fresh for Jimmy!”

(Mom and daughter hug)?

You can see that that commercial was straight and to the point. It made sense. It made you feel sympathy for the daughter, and you came away knowing that she was going to be better.

Maybe I am not sickened by the guy running through the sand commercial. Maybe I am confused. But, could someone PLEASE tell me what the hell it means? What does the sand and human pyramid have to do with tampons???

THEY ARE FUCKING WITH OUR MINDS WITH THAT COMMERCIAL.

Oprah Winfrey is going to be on every cover of “O” magazine? Is that pompous, or what? How long did it take them to come up with that title?

Poor Regis. Kathie Lee has rubbed of on him. He also hires children and pays them slave wages to make his clothing line. He has a clothing line? I know, he didn’t hire the children.

Betcha Kathie did since she is the expert in that area.

Matthew Perry is satan. I have no proof, I just want to go on the record and say so in case it comes true.

David Arquette to be nominated for an academy award in our lifetime? Yep, and those psychic hotlines are legit.

Dennis Miller is now a part of the Monday Night Football broadcast team? Hey, it could have been Rush Limbaugh.

Visiting Nebraska has made me so negative. I am sorry if I offend. You should go to Nebraska and see what happens to you.

By the way, thanks for the email Diane K. We always try to respond, but our email response kept coming back as undeliverable. Hopefully, Bob will answer your question below. If he doesn’t, it’s because he is a prick. –

Gotta go, am in a tornado warning right now.

COMING NEXT: Our top ten movie picks of all time!!!

Diane K. – The Delightful pictures on last weeks “I’m Pissed” was borrowed from Greggs Homepage. I suggest you check out his site, it very funny. – Bob S.

More Lunatic Ravings…

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

https://theweirdcrap.com

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