Some Pieces Starting to Fit

Queensryche—“Operation: Mindcrime II”

MoTW—“The Border”

Instead of feeling happy that I was going to fight and defeat whatever
terrible disease I might have, I sat with my head hanging as I felt a
couple rivulets of goo slowly make their way down my inner thigh towards
my ass crack.

I thought about going to the restroom in order to dry my pants, but now
the boy’s mother was also laughing and I didn’t need to have any further
embarrassment so I sat there and prayed that my pants had dried enough
so my parents didn’t notice.
Then I heard my parents voices and I groaned as they walked into the
waiting room.

“Let’s go,” my dad said as mom twirled around like a ballerina.

I sat for a moment deciding what to do when the kid said, “When you take
him home, you might want to teach him how to use a toilet!”

“What’s that?” dad asked.

“Nothing,” I answered

“HE PEED HIS PANTS!” the kid shouted as his mother tried to cover his
mouth with her hand.

My mother stopped her twirling. “You did what?”

I quickly got up and started walking towards the door. “It’s nothing ma!
Let’s just go.”

“Now hold on young man,” she said. “Let’s just see what we have
he………..oh my GOD! YOU DID! YOU REALLY DID PEE YOUR PANTS!”

“DAMNIT MOTHER! I DID NOT PEE MY PANTS! IT IS NOT PEE!”

“If it’s not pee, then what is it? Is it…..is it….penis goo?”

I almost started crying, but my dad suddenly grabbed my harm and dragged
me outside. When he let go I looked at him and was stunned to see that
he was smiling.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“This is the greatest news I’ve had in a long time, son! It’s obvious
now that you weren’t on drugs but were sexually repressed!”

“Say what?”

“Yeah, it’s something you wouldn’t know much about yet. See, you
wouldn’t know at your age that you can’t let the sperm build up so much
in your testes. If you do, then you’ll start hallucinating and acting
strange because the sperm leaks from your testicles, enters your
bloodstream and travels to your brain causing abnormal behaviour. This
would explain your recent behaviour!”

“And you read this where?”

He suddenly hugged me. “Don’t you worry though. I’ll take care of you.
That’s what dads are for.”

With that we headed to the car and headed home. Halfway there we had to
turn around since he had forgot mom in all his excitement.

When we got home, he told me to go to my room and stay there since he
had a surprise for me. I sat at my desk writing my pony story until
later that day when someone knocked on the bedroom door.

When I answered it, I found myself looking at a woman with a bit too
much makeup caked on her face.

“You ready sweetie?” she asked.

“DAD?”

“Oh now, don’t you worry,” she said as she pushed her way into my room.

COMING NEXT: Who is the mystery woman?

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beggining. The idea of writing weekly columns (blogs didn't exist yet) also came from Stephen. So I guess that makes him the creator of the "blog" phenomena.

https://theweirdcrap.com

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