John Rocker Is Coming To New York!

On Thursday, John Rocker is coming back to New York to pitch. Extra security has been added, and the Mets have built a special barrier over and around the Atlanta bullpen. All this because of a mentally deficient, mongloidian idiot.

If you ever watch him pitch, take note of his eyes when he is on the mound. Notice how he blinks a LOT. I have done an extensive study on this, and have discovered that this is a common occurence in Cro-Magnum man. Also notice the high forehead and the wide set eyes. This too is a feature of Cro-Magnum man.

It will be very interesting in 200 years when his remains are discovered from some graveyard somewhere, The scientists will dig him up and perform studies on him. Imagine theire surprise when they discover that a seemingly distinct race was still around million of years after is supposedly died out. It will be considered a medical marvel. Or something like that.

Oh well, enough about him.

Here is our list on the top 10 movies of all time:

10. “Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealers”–Probably the best animation EVER. Puts Disney, Don Bluth, etc. to shame.

9. “Chained Heat 2”–Bridgette Nielsen as a prison warden. Very realistic depiction of life in prison.

8. “American Anthem”–Cannot get enough of Mitch Gaylord. We think he is a undiscovered talent. He’s pretty good at that gymnastic stuff, too.

7. “Going Ape!”–Tony Danza and orangutans. A laughed filled movie. I think this was up for an Oscar, or some other award.

6. “C.H.U.D. 2”–Wraps up all those unanswered questions from C.H.U.D.

5. “Gymkata”–Another great movie with a gymnast. Kurt Thomas brings soul to this movie.

4. “Raise the Titanic!“–Much better and shorter than that other Titanic movie. And, it gets raised to boot.

3. “Spring Break”–Never seen a movie like this one. A group of college kids go to Florida to party and get laid. A film way before its time.

2. “Parasite”–Demi Moore’s first movie. And it’s in 3D. Nothing beats a 3D movie.

1. That Vanilla Ice movie. We don’t have to give you the name, you already know it. Tremedous acting skills. He was a motocross champion, you know.

And there you have it! Run to your local video store and rent one, if not all, of these. You will be shocked and surprised at each and every one of them.

As an added bonus, I will now list 2 movies that will put you to sleep, guaranteed:

1. “Chariots of Fire”–I fell asleep within the first 15 minutes.

2. “The Conversation”–I have tried to watch this 5 times! I have fallen asleep within the first 15 minutes every time. Why is this a classic????

Well, thanks for reading and good night.

COMING SOON: Something really special!!!

More Lunatic Ravings…

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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