Mastodon—“Blood Mountain”
MoTW—“Zombie Honeymoon”
“Yes, a petting zoo,” the lady said slowly, as if talking to a couple
Nebraskans.
Spunky started laughing and threw some cereal at a couple of the bus
people shuffling by, being careful not to hit them in the head.
“Sorry, there’s no petting zoo here but I have lots of food and drink if
that makes a difference,” I said as slowly as she did, just to make a
point.
She threw her clipboard down and said, “Why Josie, why?” over and over
again.
Spunky stopped throwing cereal. “Who’s Josie?”
“Where’s the Pussycats?” I added.
(NOTE: As I recollect all that happened that day, I suddenly got this
incredible feeling of deja vu, as if something like this happened
somewhere else to someone else and someone else was going to sue that
other someone else because they stole their idea, so I might have stolen
someone’s idea or I’m just imagining it so it’s not really deja vu but
something else entirely.)
“I’M Josie,” said the lady who will now be referred to as Josie, “and
I’ve never heard that ‘Pussycat’ shit before.”
“Really?” I asked.
“It was a cartoon back in the….” began Spunky.
“I KNOW WHO JOSIE AND THE FUCKING PUSSYCATS ARE!” screamed Josie as she
kicked the clipboard which flew up and hit Darnell in the middle of his
face.
“Darnell’s down!” one of the bus people yelled and then all the bus
people were yelling “Darnell’s down! Darnell’s down!” and then Spunky
was yelling “Darnell’s down! Darnell’s down!” and then I, trying to act
a bit more mature, started yelling “Darnell fell, went BOOM! Darnel
fell, went BOOM!”
Soon we all tired of this fun and the bus people went back to their
quiet shuffling and Spunky and I went over to Darnell and helped him to
his feet.
Josie, on the other hand, was still freaking out over the whole petting
zoo thing.
“I was given a simple job! Just take them to the petting zoo so they
could shuffle around the animals! That’s it! Simple!
“But no! Not me! I can’t do a simple job. I’m pathetic! I deserve to be
shot!”
“Ever think about becoming a whore? More specifically, a crackwhore?” I
asked, trying to be helpful.
No answer from her, just a glare.
“Hold on, I have an idea. Follow me!” said Spunky as he headed to his
van.
As we neared the van, I noticed that awful smell again. When he opened
the back doors, the smell was so bad it almost knocked me to my knees.
“What in the hell is that smell” I asked as my eyes started to water.
“You’ll see,” he said as he grabbed a covered 32 gallon storage bin and
handed it to me, and then picked one up for himself.
When we were done unloading the van, we had a total of 8 smelly 32
gallon storage bins sitting in a neat row in my backyard.
“Prepare yourself,” said Spunky as pulled a spool of fishing line from
one of his pockets. “Now the fun begins.”
COMING NEXT: The Block Party: Part 7
