We Still Have Not Decided On A Name For Our Movie

After many late night sessions, we still have not decided on a name for our movie. I kninda thought that “Full Metal Debra” and Debra Foreman Don’t Wear Plaid”, but those were nixed. Good ole Bob thought “Valley Girl 2: Jugement Day” might work, but we laughed him out of the office. So, “Weirdcrap.go.cc” is still the working title. It grows on you after awhile, we think.

I went to a local book store recently to purchase some reading material. I was a little shocked when I noticed the parking lot was almost full When I got inside, I discovered the reason why.

I have NEVER seen so many unattended children in one place in my whole life. Kids were everywhere, smearing books with their peanut butter and jelly stained hands.

A bunch of older women were gathered around a display of books, and I noticed a lot of pushing and punching in the crowd. Interested, I creeped a bit closer to see what the big fuss was about.

It was for the new Harry Potter book.

A children’s book.

Adults fighting over a children’s book.

Oh, don’t let them fool you. It is NOT for their kids. Their kids are so friend in the brain from videogames and Teletubbies, that they can’t put compete sentences together.

Nope, these women are buying the book for themselves. They have gotten enough of those well-written Harlequin romances that they need something new. So, they pick up a simple, easy to read kids book instead.

The dumbing down of America, indeed.

I told someone at work that they were reading a kids book. They told me that the book is over 700 pages. What difference does that make?? Does that NOT make it a kids book?

I have also seen the pictures of “children” raptly engrossed in these books. Don’t let those pictures fool you. They are all 40 year old midgets. It is only the marketing geniuses at Scholastic Books at work, making it seem as if kids are really reading them, so other kids will want to read them.

It is a conspiracy of some sort. There is something in those books that are causing adults to act like idiots. regretfully, I will never find out why since I will never read one.

Now you know why the top shows are crap like “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”, “Survivor” and “Friends”. Total bummer.

So, this is why we are going to rewrite history. Noone really cares about what happened before 1900 so that is where we are going to start. By doing this, we are helping the children by shortening history for them, so they might pay a bit more attention in class AND their history book will be a hell of a lot lighter! We are such good people!

We’ll keep all the good stuff in and change the really bad stuff, since people basically want to forget about bad things. We will “gloss” those over. No more dates from the 1400’s to remember, since that time did not exist! Kids will only have to remember 100 years! And they all can be future contestants on a game show!! WOW!

And this is coming soon, in time for the new school year.

I can’t wait for the new Pokemon movie. The animation has got to be awesome considering the other movie only came out about a year ago. This will probably put Disney to shame.

Bob doesn’t want to make a list of his favorite cigarettes. “I don’t have a favorite,” he said. “I just smoke whatever I can steal, and they all taste damn good to me.” Gee, thanks Bob.

I like the jackass who is willing to pay you a quarter so they can bum a smoke off you. They are basically willing to pay you $5.00 for a pack of cigarettes that you only pay $3.00 for. I smell a get rich quick scheme here.

I wonder what it takes to be listed in the “Entertainment Weekly” magazine internet section. Last week they listed an address for a site that is no longer in operation. We’re in operation. What about us?

Coming Next: I make no sense at all.

More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!


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