What Happened At The Verizon Store?

What happened at the Verizon store?

Glad you asked.

She was pretty mellow on the driver over, but when they told us that they could not change ownership at the store (even though that’s what the lady on the phone said we must do), that mellowness disappeared.

For some unknown reason, that day she decided to dress up as a 1920’s cheerleader without any undergarments. I thought this would be okay since those skirts back then were so long.

So she hiked up that long skirt, pooped a bunch of actual raisins into her hand and started flinging them around. The employees tried to run and hide but she was dead on with her raisin chucking accuracy and nobody was missed.

When she decided to levitate while pooping out more raisins, I figured that would be the perfect time for me to exit the store and have myself a nice relaxing smoke.

While outside I noticed there was a Texas Roadhouse nearby and figured that would be a nice place to grab a meal since I’ve never been there before.

Finished the smoke, tossed the burning butt towards some propane tanks and went back into the store.

She had finished her levitating and raisin tossing and one of the workers quickly took down some information from me and told us we needed to call a specific number for change of ownership. I tried hard not to laugh at his raisin covered face, and failed to do so.

Got the woman to the car, went home and a couple hours later ownership was changed.

And that’s that.

More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!


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