We’re Not A Good Couple

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

Within Temptation—The Unforgiving

MoTW—Repo Men

 

Generally folks hook up with one another because they feel like they can
get support from each other. They should throw ideas at each other and
some sort of support should be shown, no mater how dumb the idea might
be.

Guess I’m not in a general type of relationship.

It could be the wide age variance or my awesome prettiness, but I should
expect something from the woman outside of her calling me an idiot any
chance she gets.

I mean it was a good day today. We went out so I could get a new fan for
my basement lair so when I fart, the fart smell doesn’t linger. With the
fan the fart smell spreads around, just as it should.

As we’re driving to the local unnamed store, I told her I had a great
idea for a documentary film. In this film, I would find a busy highway
and plant myself there with a camera and film cars going by. When a
driver doesn’t use their blinker when making a lane change (yeah I know,
I keep harping on this), I would hope in my car and follow them until
they stop. Then, still filming, I would ask them why they didn’t use
their blinker.

Just think of the hilarity and violence that would ensue! How could this
not be a wonderful idea?

After outlining my plan she responded with “That idea
sounds…….great.”

Definitely not feeling her support, I demanded that she get out of the
car which she declined which is kind of a good thing because I was a bit
drunk.

So we went to this unnamed store and discovered that we needed to pick
up an extra Easter card because she didn’t buy enough. The woman said
that since every other card she got was a dollar, the card picked up
today could only cost a dollar.

Quite loudly I asked he why she was so fucking cheap which quite a few
people heard and they were not pleased. I let her try and find a good
dollar card and then picked up a card welcoming a new baby because my
nephew has a birthday coming up and I figured I could cross out any
mention of the baby and substitute it with “birthday”. Works for me!

Then I went looking for fans and found one that looked like it would
work.

The woman decided that we needed to go to Costco and I agreed to
drunkenly tag along, just so I could watch the old people gumming down
the free samples handed out every Saturday. That was fun until I
drunkenly vomited into the fish cooler and then we left.

The point I’m trying to make is that I’m still pretty pissed off at her.
If she reads this, maybe we could talk about it.

 

COMING NEXT: Seriously, something has to happen. I’m just writing about
nothing recently.

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