by Stephen Johnson
MoTW—Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
Wow, it’s like I’ve been in a coma or something. I mean, over a MONTH since my last post? What the hell is going on?
I could come up with a good story, something like being forced into a coma so I could bypass Black Friday and all its goodness, but that didn’t happen. I’ve actually been busy doing…stuff. Not sure what stuff I did, but guaranteed it was stuff. I did watch almost 50 movies in a two week stretch in November plus I cleaned my shower. Yep, my own personal shower. Now it’s clean. Got rid of all that gunky buildup from the last 6 years. Some things just need to be done I guess.
I also went to Wal Mart and picked up some of those 3M picture hanging things since I got the wild idea to frame some movie posters and hang them up in the basement. The idea was good on paper, but not good enough to come to full fruition since the 3M package is still unopened, the hanging wire is still in the package and the movie posters are still rolled up in their cardboard cartons. Maybe one day that urge will bite again.
Other than that, I have no idea what I did. Oh wait….I got a new car battery. It needed one. Now it has one. Job done.
You know, maybe I haven’t done anything. Maybe I was just lazy. That should be expected since the end of the world is right around the corner. What’s the point of doing anything if what you do isn’t going to make that much of a difference in a few weeks (or days now). Why not just sit around and do the things you like?
If the world doesn’t end when it’s supposed to, I’m screwed. The woman came up with a silly idea that we would limit our Xmas budget to $100. So far I’ve picked up about $27 worth of stuff for her and really don’t want to get anything else at this time since it might just be a waste of money. Or would it? If the world ends, nobody would be able to enjoy the money anyway so why not just go apeshit crazy and buy expensive, useless stuff? I’d have to give it to her before Xmas and that would just ruin the meaning of receiving presents on Xmas day so that’s not a good idea.
For now I’m sitting on the $27 I’ve spent. If the world does not end, I’ll have to go shopping commando-style. Don’t know what that actually means, but I’ll only have a day or so to find halfway interesting stuff which is something I’m really not looking forward to.
And as I think about this, the more I pray the world ends when the Mayans said it would. Otherwise I’m screwed.
COMING NEXT: Will there even be a next?