Guest Writers

Lunatic Columns, Blogs, Nonsense

We’ve been writing our columns since 1999 and still nobody reads them…but they just keep coming!

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  • Nursery Rhymes For New Parents!
    by Bob Senitram
    Parenting is hard work, there’s planes to catch and bills to pay and you still have to find time to learn those kids! So, for all you new parents, I wrote some nice short stories that you can tell your children. They’ll be entertained and grow to be wise and street smart. Franky, The Boy Who Wouldn’t Eat his Veggies.…
  • Musings Part 202
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Need to close program” in order for it to update. But it IS closed. Eh, I’ll just exclude it. No big deal. What’s could possibly go wrong? Last year I decided not to watch that awards ceremony and missed the slap. Didn’t care. Decided not to watch this year and didn’t miss anything. Glad what won, upset Avatar got something…
  • Easter is On its Way!
    by Melissa Paternik
    Since Easter is only a few weeks away, I figured that this would be the perfect time for some Easter tips!!! I personally think that one of the worst things to do is to buy an actual live bunny. Sure they are cute and furry, but sometimes you just have to turn the cute and furry creatures into a good,…
  • She Gets Hungriest at Night…
    by Bob Senitram
    This week, Stephen explains what happened to Chuck Cunningham, Opy Cunninghams older brother who disappeared in the first season! Speaking of columns on TheWeirdcrap.com, if you want to write a column as a guest and have it published with all the other nonsense, well, you can! Who told you, you couldn’t? Oh yea, if your too lazy to write a…
  • What DID Happen To Chuck Cunningham? (The Answer Might Surprise You)
    by Stephen Johnson
    Nope, Chuck Cunningham never did go to Minnesota State, but he did join the USAF and was killed by his woman friend because he was afraid of snakes. “Happy Days” never mentioned this probably because it might have ruined the Cunningham hardware business. Shockingly, Chuck came back to life, this time as a street thug named Manny. He decided to…
  • Together Again!
    by Melissa Paternik
    Well, since I couldn’t sell Dana, it seemed like a good idea to get him a job at a Nebraska meat packing plant where he could meet other kids and make friends! Wouldn’t you know, once Dana started making money, it got its own place to live and didn’t want me around anymore. I know when I’m not wanted, so…
  • Winter Road Trip Part II
    by Bob Senitram
    Last week I shared how google decided to drive us right into the eye of a winter storm on the way to Minneapolis. We got to the hotel which was much nicer than I was expecting. Usually, our trips lead us to a chain hotel with a fancy name, but the rooms and accommodations aren’t much better that what you…
  • We Got Snow!
    by Stephen Johnson
    We got around 8.5 inches of snow yesterday afternoon/evening. It was the really wet & heavy stuff so it was really fun taking care of it this morning. Don’t believe in a gas powered snow blower since the upkeep is such a pain, so we have a battery operated one. Wait, we have a battery powered one to help the…
  • No Use Anymore…
    by Melissa Paternik
    When you have something that is of no use anymore, you sometimes try to sell it in order to make some money. Well, I figured that I had no more use for Dana and since my breasts are becoming very sore from all the feedings, I decided that I could sell my baby, like I did with my seven other…
  • The Winter Roadtrip 2023
    by Bob Senitram
    After a nice hard winter, the ol’ lady decided that a winter road trip would be fun. She had some out of state work, so we decided to pack up and head to beautiful-sunny Minneapolis where the grass is greener, and kids are all above average. On the morning to leave, we were greeted with a good helping of snow.…

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Visit the archives to discover columns by other writers such as P.S. Gifford, Bel Garion, Melissa Paternick, and Brian Petre. This content has absolutely nothing to do with reality, so it doesn’t really matter when they were published.

You like to jot down stuff just for the fun of it? Feel free to submit a column!

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