My Wounded Finger Is Still Wounded

Kittie—In The Black

MoTW—Year One

Maybe it was a mistake letting the cat have it's way with my wounded
finger since it's not healing.

After a few days of the cat treat I decided to take matters into my own
hands since it seemed to be growing bigger, something that looked like a
blood blister. So, as all those in the medical profession are wont to
do, I grabbed a needle, punctured the fucking thing and then squeezed
until the blood started dripping out.

I did this for a couple days until it was getting back to it's normal
color, but a few days later it got worse. Now it looks like I have a
piece of ear wax stuck to the end of my finger which is a bit confusing
everytime I dig around in my ear and think I've extracted a nice meaty

And talking about medical conditions, I have to wonder: who in their
right mind watches "Grey's Anatomy' and thinks it's a good show? I
happen to catch five minutes of it every evening on Lifetime and every
damn time somebody is whining about something. I'm dying. I'm hurt. I
shot my daddy. And on and on and on. I understand the show's been on for
something like 50 years, but are the same folks who watch it the same
that though "Friends" was the funniest show ever? Probably, and they're
all stupid. And that's my childish, non-thought out rant of the week!

I'm thinking that what I have is a scab growing under the skin, or I
could actually have Steven Johnson syndrome (and hey, if they want to
name a disease after me, at least they could get my first name right!)
but my calls to that law firm have not been returned so I'm forced to
sit around and suffer.
This whole could have been averted if the woman wasn't adamant about
getting a bigger tv. I was happy with the 13" black and white set in
living room, but she claimed that she went over to someone's house and
they had this large COLOR tv and that we should get one too, so we could
fit in with society.

I finally agreed after a year or so and we went out a couple weeks ago
and bought the humongous tv, a tv stand to support the weight of the 800
lb tv and a large bookcase to Feng Shui the living room.

Everything went fine with the building of the tv stand, everything was
ok with hooking all the wires, cables and doodads into the tv and
everything was going fine with the bookcase until I whacked my finger
with the hammer.

So instead of watching porn on a 90" screen (my goodness! look at the
size of that vulva!!!!), I idly sit around all day waiting for my finger
to fall off. Just so we could fit in. What total bullshit. And no, she
doesn't care because all she does now is watch HGTV round the clock,
slack-jawed and drooling.

COMING NEXT: What does Costco do to me?

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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