Note From the Editor:
“JOHN” IS CURRENTLY IN THE HOSPITAL DUE TO A SEVERE CASE OF FOOD POISONING. WE ARE GOING TO POST ONE OF HIS OLDER COLUMNS FOR ANYONE WHO MAY HAVE MISSED IT.
Actually, John has been going through a vigorous exercise program that had the pounds just melting away. The only trouble is, he took so much “Acid” in the 60’s that much of the fat content of his body is constructed from the “60’s acid molecules.” When he started burning off the fat, the acid was released into his system, nearly killing him in a “bad trip.”
Back in the day (1937 – 1976), Weirdcrap was not on the Internet; however, we did print a single paper with jokes and commentaries that was displayed by “Central Market’s” butcher shop, right next to the pickled pigs feet. The following is an older commentary from that time period….
I am in a little bit of shock. John F Kennedy was shot dead within the last week. I have been in mourning since that fateful day and I will do my best to write something that will hopefully make sense.
I cried at the funeral. When I saw John Jr. saluting, I cried some more and imagined that he would be a war hero like his dad, and he would also probably be a damn fine pilot.
I hope I never have to go through something like that again. The long funeral procession makes the manliest man choke up. I wonder what it would be like if, say, a princess were to die in an unfortunate accident. Would it be as grand and somber as this funeral?
Probably would be a bit more grand since it would be a princess. See? I’m rambling. That would never happen.
I caught a glimpse of Ted Kennedy. He is most definitely presidential material. Can Ted ever do anything wrong? I doubt it. He is the type of man we need as our next president, a man with few, if any faults.
Richard Nixon might be a good one too. Write down those two names, you can’t possibly go wrong with them.
Now to try and brighten things up a bit. I heard some people talking about a place called Vietnam. DON’T WORRY!!! This will be a little vacation for a couple of years for our troops. Heck, it might even be looked upon as a vacation for them. If you are in the armed services, go to your commanding officer and request to be sent to Vietnam. You won’t be disappointed.
I have also heard something about this group of guys in England who call themselves the Beetles,
or something like that. Like they will ever make it big!!
I don’t know about you, but to me Dick Clark is starting to look a bit old. I think his career is almost over. We’ll miss you!!!
Well, that’s it for now. I am going to run down to the record shop and pick up Dean Martin’s new album.
More Lunatic Ravings…
Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!
