Hey! My name is Jerome White. I am taking over this mother fucking column from Steven cause his ass is dead!!
I don’t watch no television cause I ain’t got one. I don’t go to no movies because I ain’t got no money. I just write about what I know.
Check this. I went home one evening expecting my dinner to be on the table. It was. But, my bitch ho girlfriend didn’t give me no PEAS!! I need my mother fucking PEAS. So, I screamed at her, “Where are my mother fucking PEAS!”
She looked at me and threw down her dish towel then ran from the kitchen. I don’t know about you, but I will have none of that from my bitch. So, I chased her to the bedroom.
She was lying on the bed CRYING! She’s so weak. I threw a statue of the Virgin Mary at her and demanded to know where my peas were. She kept on crying. So, I jumped on the bed screaming “PEAS!! PEAS!! I want my PEAS!” She kept on crying. Then, she had the nerve to run from the bedroom!!
I ain’t taking none of that shit from my bitch. I followed her into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and took out some frozen asparagus. Asparagus? I want no fucking asparagus!!! I want motherfuckingloving PEAS!!!
To make this story short, I didn’t get my damned peas. I had to eat my steak with no peas. However, I warned her about me having no peas. This will not happen again.
She did tell me that my prescription to the Wall Street Journal ran out. I got mad again. How could she let my prescription run out?? Where’s her head? I expect 2 things when I get home: I need my peas and I need my Wall Street Journal. Now it looks like I ain’t got either. Fuck this shit.
On a personal note, Steven was pretty cool for a white guy. It’s Bob I think I might have a problem with. I think I might be bustin a cap in his ass real soon.
Peace.
Up Next: I visit the funeral home.
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