Guest Writers
We’ve had a number of guest writers over the years. Included is “Psycho Sermons, ” by Bel Garion, “Paperback Writer” by P.S. Gifford and “From the Road” by Brian Petre.
Anyone can join in! Just click the SUBMIT link.
Lunatic Columns | Ask Bob | Lunatic Ravings | Chick Shit | Guest Writers
- What Ever Happened to Melissa?by Melissa PaternikHere’s the latest update on Melissa, fugitive from justice, go-go dancer and all around slut: We hired some cheap investigators to track down Melissa. What they have reported to us is shocking, but typical of Melissa. She is currently travelling with 3 other females, all hardened criminals like herself. Our eyewitnesses reports that they are travelling around the state stopping…
- Cleaning Tips!by Melissa Paternikby Melissa Paternick Oh boy, did I ever make a big mistake when I last mentioned my cleaning tips!! It seems that a lot of people, like Jim N., are confused about what I meant when I said I was going to write about head cleaning!! I did not mean it in a sexual way!! That would be dirty and…
- The Complete Works of John Henry David IIIby Submitted by GuestMike TrepalJohn Henry David III was an accomplished American “silly quote writer”. Herein lie his major works and a small detailed biography which follows. “Redispose my underachievement for I am greatly misunderestimated!” -John Henry David III“Avast there, silence between decks, my albatross wears no diaper!” -John Henry David III “The longer the nose, the harder it is to yo-yo standing…
- Just for youby P.S. GiffordJust for you. Have you ever wanted to murder someone? Please, please, read on for I am deadly serious. So, I shall repreat the simple question- have you ever wanted to murder someone? I don’t mean wished them dead… But actually seriously considered the process of killing. Lay in bed at night and played with the tantalizing concept? Contemplated strangulation,…
- Saint Patrick’s Dayby Saint Garionby Saint Garion For Saint Patrick’s Day we all went down to the local Irish pub, where the Lord and Buddha chased some kids around in a circle, playing their “who can heal the 6 year-old faster after she smashes her head into the ground” game. Terrifying to watch, but of course had they not been there things would have…
- Catch Up e-mailby Saint Garion(Originally posted on 04/11/2007) I’ve decided to catch up on some e-mail.___________________________________ Dear Saint Garion, Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? Thanks, ~Eric Dear Eric, The answer is simple: It’s because you get to smoke in prison and not in school. When I found the cigarettes, burning into the…
- Guy Fawkes Dayby P.S. GiffordPaper Back Writer by P.S. Gifford With Halloween almost upon us, and many a friend sharing their tae on the season, I cannot help but recollect my own childhood memories of this time of year. By now, in England, the days were short, and the nights were long and damp. Most trees had shed their leaves, and I would, as…
- The Tree of Hopeby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by PS Gifford The Tree of Hope.P.S. Gifford I shall never forget that particular Friday afternoon in April 1976. I was just a tender and impressionable eleven years old that was my final year at Whitecrest primary school. It is an enchanted age being eleven, just beginning the haphazard evolution into adulthood: yet, the young mind, still containing…
- Big Blogby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by P.S. Gifford There’s a blog chain going around called “The Next Big Thing.” The idea is, each writer answers some questions about their next big project… and lines up five more authors to do the same, encouraging people to discover other authors’ books and blogs. My good friend John Everson did one of these last week, and…
- Dealing with Alzheimer’sby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by P.S. Gifford Alzheimer’s and dementia are cruel things to suffer from and, I must add, being a caregiver you must assume nothing- as everyday offers new challenges. At two this morning I literally cried. My father was calling for his mother- and asking where she was. But that wasn’t that generated those tears. What impacted so dramatically…
- The Imageby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by P.S. Gifford The Image Have you ever looked hard at yourself in the mirror? Deep into your own eyes… And simply stared. And kept on staring until the image became fuzzy. Indistinguishable, hazy, confused… Yet you kept on staring until to realize, finally, to your horror, that it is no longer your own face staring back at…
- My son turns nineteen todayby P.S. GiffordBy Guest Writer Today my son turns nineteen. Hardly seems possible….It is a bittersweet occasion as I know he is happy- but I will not be getting to see him. I rarely do. Jonathan was just eighteen months old when I met and fell in love with his mother. Things went fast and before I knew where I was I…
- Rattledby P.S. GiffordGuest Writer (unknown) Words are rattling in my soul-That are longing to break free…So here I am a tap-tapping keysin an attempt to make them be! But all that rose to the surfaceIs this awkward and clumsy verse.Should I stop my tap-tapping now,before I make it any worse? When inside they seemed profound…and begged me to be written.Oh they seemed…
- PS Gifford’s websiteby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by PS Gifford The Great Shoe Caper This is an absolutely true account, none of the names or facts have been changed to protect the innocent, because there were no actual innocents involved. It was an incredible ten years ago it all happened, almost exactly to today’s date. It was my only day off from my work managing…
- Hintsby P.S. GiffordHelpful Hints from Helloise “Thanks for all the feedback on last weeks helpful hint ‘Be kind to your chainsaw and it will be kind to you.’ And Bob in the Bronx- that was a brilliant and rather creative notion you had for eliminating your mother-in-law. Please let me know how it works out for you. Well today s tip is…
- Entombedby P.S. GiffordEntombed It all began with a bet. I would suspect that a lot of bad things begin with a bet. Well, that combined with an evening down at the pub. This actually did not start at a pub per se, but at a rum shop, the Bajan equivalent. It was after the seventh rum and coke that Paul Griffin pulled…
- My websiteby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by PS Gifford Words have always been my allies. They have comforted, cared and consoled me during sadness, encouraged, enriched and entertained me at my most dire moments, and supported, sustained and shared in my occasional victories. I have traveled the world, been transported in time and lived in the minds of writers substantially greater than my own.…
- KillerCon Vegasby P.S. GiffordKillerCon What an amazing weekend I had. In fact amazing is quite the understatement. I have to confess I did have concerns as the morning prior to my departure I discover that the location changed. No longer was it to be held at the Palace Station but at the Stratosphere. Now bear in mind that many folks were traveling from…
- killerconby P.S. GiffordKillerCon What an amazing weekend I had. In fact amazing is quite the understatement. I have to confess I did have concerns as the morning prior to my departure I discover that the location changed. No longer was it to be held at the Palace Station but at the Stratosphere. Now bear in mind that many folks were traveling from…
- High Techby P.S. GiffordI have just been in a terrible predicament, A tight spot which I am sure will make the strongest stomached of readers wince. A dilemma which I have also considered but never dared to consider would happen. Well happen it did. I was busying myself in the kitchen preparing my pot of coffee, tomorrow’s lunch for Jonathan and Sarah and…
- KillerCon Vegas- my first dayby P.S. GiffordWhat an interesting weekend this turned out to be. To be perfectly frank I wasn’t highly motivated about attending- and barely prepared for the trip. Besides I was broke- and Vegas isn’t the cheapest place to hang out at. On Thursday morning, after another of a string of sleepless nights, I dropped off Chester at the boarding kennels and Sir…
- click for more info on P.S. Giffordby P.S. GiffordFoolproof plan “It’s a bloody foolproof plan!” Charlie Watkins stated matter-of-factly with the usual upbeat optimistic tone to his voice and then promptly, wit one gulp, downed the last of his pint. He licked his lips in satisfaction, “it simply must work.” Jimmy and Cuthbert intently studied Charlie’s plump red rosy cheeks and rolled their eyes in unison. They had…
- My experience at the Bram Stoker awardsby P.S. GiffordI did the signing at Dark Delicacies on Thursday night- and whilst everyone else was heading back to the hotel to drink and mingle- I headed home. I live sixty miles or so from Burbank. I took my son to the signing- but I wanted my wife at the Stokers. The signing itself was a hoot- more like a party…
- A terrible predicamentby P.S. GiffordI have just been in a terrible predicament, A tight spot which I am sure will make the strongest stomached of readers wince. A dilemma which I have also considered but never dared to consider would happen. Well happen it did. I was busying myself in the kitchen preparing my pot of coffee, tomorrow’s lunch for Jonathan and Sarah and…
- Check out P.S. Gifford’s website and details of his booksby P.S. GiffordKing for a day. by P.S. Gifford “Be treated like a King,” the flashy brochure said about the off the beacon track boutique hotel in Bordeaux. After the last few weeks I felt that I deserved to be treated like a king. My wife left me four weeks ago for the marriage councilor my therapist had advised me to go…
- P.S. Gifford’s websiteby P.S. GiffordThe Button By P. S. Gifford “Press the F7 button on your keypad for a surprise.” The even toned voiced echoed from the computer’s speakers. “What? Who said that?” Andrew stared his unfinished poem on the screen. The one that was finally get him acknowledged by his peers. “I am your computer Andrew.” The voice replied. “Now please do what…
- Check out my latest book!by P.S. GiffordSid sat at the kitchen table, reading his morning newspaper. He couldn’t help but glance longingly at the empty chair across from him, especially as today was May 12th–his 75th birthday. “Seventy-five years old,” he mused. “Who would have ever thought it?” The day was noteworthy for another reason: the carnival was back in town. In fact, for the past…
- Pre-order my next book for less than 8 dollars!by P.S. GiffordThe Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend — P.S. Gifford The Further Accounts of the Imaginary FriendExpected Release — June 1, 2009Genre: HorrorAuthor: P.S. GiffordRated: R The Imaginary Friend is back in this long-awaited sequel to THE CURIOUS ACCOUNTS OF THE IMAGINARY FRIEND. For those of you who have yet to make his acquaintance, the Imaginary Friend is the one…
- How to pre-order my latest book for under 8 dollarsby P.S. GiffordFURTHER ACCOUNTS OF THE IMAGINARY FRIEND to be Released on June 1, 2009 Virtual Tales, a publisher of eBooks, eSerials and trade paperbacks spanning a variety of fiction genres and styles, announced that the simultaneous print and eBook release for THE FURTHER ACCOUNTS OF THE IMAGINARY FRIEND by horror author P.S. Gifford will take place on Monday, June 1, 2009.…
- The Messageby P.S. GiffordThe Message Yesterday was mother’s day. The basic plan was a day of laziness for my wife- who is the hardest working person I have ever known. She awoke yesterday to get the usual cards and chocolates- and our sixteen year old son Jonathan cooked breakfast. My wife had expected me to cook dinner that night- as I am the…
- The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend.by P.S. GiffordI am thrilled to announce that my latest book is being printed as I type. Its first public outing will be in Nashville at the wildly entertaining HyperiCon- June 5th-7th Check out who will be there! Author Guest of Honor Brian Keene Artist Guest of Honor Steven Gilberts Fan Guest of Honor Bob (Outsidecon) Embler Special Filk Guest Kathy Mar…
- The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend.by P.S. GiffordMy latest book “The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend,” is being printed as I type. Its first two public outings wqill be at HyperiCon, with the likes of Brian Keene, John Everson, Alicia Benson, Jonathan Maberry and whole bunch more of amazing talent. For more information check out http://www.hypericon.info/ – Then on June 11th I will be part of…
- PS Gifford – Curious Accounts of the Imaginary Friend Promo …by P.S. GiffordShare on FacebookTweetFollow us
- click here to discover more about P.S. Gifford- and why you should care.by P.S. GiffordANTICIPATION By P.S. Gifford “Honey come look what I’ve wrote, “P.S. Gifford the horror author spoke. His wife ,Sarah, spoke hinting despair . “Okay my love I shall soon be there. But I hope it isn’t crammed with gore, blood and guts and the nevermore, with writhing agonies, carnage and death and narrative thieving away my breath. Or of ghastly…
- life is rarely dull when you are a parent to a sixteen year old..by P.S. GiffordLife is rarely dull when you have sixteen year old boy in the house. Now I feel obliged to preface this by saying that Jonathan is typically a very well balanced, good-natured, hard working teenager. But yet hormones and adrenaline along with a constant need to be independent causes dilemmas. Yesterday was a typical point in case. Having just turned…
- Teenagersby P.S. GiffordLife is rarely dull when you have sixteen year old boy in the house. Now I feel obliged to preface this by saying that Jonathan is typically a very well balanced, good-natured, hard working teenager. But yet hormones and adrenaline along with a constant need to be independent causes dilemmas. Yesterday was a typical pint in case. Having just turned…
- Entombedby P.S. GiffordIt all began with a bet. I would suspect that a lot of bad things begin with a bet. Well, that combined with an evening down at the pub. This actually did not start at a pub per se, but at a rum shop, the Bajan equivalent. It was after the seventh rum and coke that Paul Griffin pulled out…
- The maddening world of P.S. Giffordby P.S. GiffordThe Submission By P.S. Gifford Phil Griffin shook his head sharply from side to side, in abrupt harsh gestures. “One day I will show them!” He abruptly blurted out loud as if a volcano of anger had erupted deep in his very being. “I will, I will definitely show them. I will write the most twisted fiction they have ever…
- Imagine losing your hand?by P.S. GiffordI have just been in a terrible predicament. A tight spot which I am sure will make the strongest stomached of readers wince. A dilemma which I have also considered but never dared to consider would happen. Well happen it did. I was busying myself in the kitchen preparing my pot of coffee, tomorrow’s lunch for Jonathan and Sarah and…
- San Francisco account…by P.S. Gifford“The Curious Account of San Francisco.” Part one of a link embedded tale of my experience in San Francisco. On Saturday, bright and early, my wife and I hopped in our car and headed north up interstate five. Seven hours later we arrived at our destination- San Francisco, where I was going to have a signing the following day. We…
- click here to discover more about P.S. Giffordby P.S. GiffordThe Dentist Visit By P.S.Gifford. It was on Sunday night when it happened. Whilst I was watching the latest Hallmark movie on CBS, and doing the crying that always accompanies such an experience. I was nibbling on a rather tasty bit of Brie when a crown managed to free itself from one of my back teeth. Now as luck would…
- The Bucketby P.S. GiffordThe Bucket P.S. Gifford As a boy of eight I had very few toys. However, one thing I played with more than any other object was an old metal bucket. I think it belonged to my grand dad originally. I used to go everywhere with my trusted bucket. In fact bucket boy even became my nickname. I did not mind-…
- The Great Shoe Caperby P.S. GiffordThe Great Shoe CaperBy P.S. Gifford This is a true account, none of the names or facts have been changed to protect the innocent, as there were no actual innocents involved.It was an incredible ten years ago it all happened, almost exactly to today’s date. It was my only day off from my work managing a restaurant, a Tuesday, and…
- A story for Halloweenby P.S. GiffordThe Pumpkin Patch By P.S. GiffordIs everybody sitting comfortably boys and girls? Jolly good then I shall begin… Peter Perry’s young pale blue eyes peeled open in pleasure as he peered at all the pumpkins perched about the perfect pumpkin patch. ‘Golly gee,’ he thought as his eyes bounced from one pumpkin to the next, ‘which one should I chose…
- Dark Delicacies Bookshopby P.S. GiffordThis is where I will be signing my books on October 24th! Share on FacebookTweetFollow us
