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- The Complete Works of John Henry David IIIby Submitted by GuestJohn Henry David III was an accomplished American “silly quote writer”. Herein lie his major works and a small detailed biography which follows. “Redispose my underachievement for I am greatly misunderestimated!” -John Henry David III“Avast there, silence between decks, my albatross wears no diaper!” -John Henry David III “The longer the nose, the harder it is to yo-yo standing knee-deep in popcorn with Garth brooks and Mickey Mouse square dancing to Sir Mix-a-lot on the…
- Just for youby P.S. GiffordJust for you. Have you ever wanted to murder someone? Please, please, read on for I am deadly serious. So, I shall repreat the simple question- have you ever wanted to murder someone? I don’t mean wished them dead… But actually seriously considered the process of killing. Lay in bed at night and played with the tantalizing concept? Contemplated strangulation, poisoning or a good old-fashioned bloody stabbing? I know that notion undoubtedly makes you feel…
- Saint Patrick’s Dayby Saint Garionby Saint Garion For Saint Patrick’s Day we all went down to the local Irish pub, where the Lord and Buddha chased some kids around in a circle, playing their “who can heal the 6 year-old faster after she smashes her head into the ground” game. Terrifying to watch, but of course had they not been there things would have been worse. The pub was using the parking lot for overflow but the area ended…
- Catch Up e-mailby Saint Garion(Originally posted on 04/11/2007) I’ve decided to catch up on some e-mail.___________________________________ Dear Saint Garion, Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? Thanks, ~Eric Dear Eric, The answer is simple: It’s because you get to smoke in prison and not in school. When I found the cigarettes, burning into the sleeping bag; my last sleeping bag: destroyed.I thought my hand was passing through the tent…
- Guy Fawkes Dayby P.S. GiffordPaper Back Writer by P.S. Gifford With Halloween almost upon us, and many a friend sharing their tae on the season, I cannot help but recollect my own childhood memories of this time of year. By now, in England, the days were short, and the nights were long and damp. Most trees had shed their leaves, and I would, as most children do, shuffle my feet through them. Halloween itself was not celebrated in all…
- The Tree of Hopeby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by PS Gifford The Tree of Hope.P.S. Gifford I shall never forget that particular Friday afternoon in April 1976. I was just a tender and impressionable eleven years old that was my final year at Whitecrest primary school. It is an enchanted age being eleven, just beginning the haphazard evolution into adulthood: yet, the young mind, still containing enough innocence and make-believe that is so sacred to childhoods. Our lower middle class neighborhood,…
- Big Blogby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by P.S. Gifford There’s a blog chain going around called “The Next Big Thing.” The idea is, each writer answers some questions about their next big project… and lines up five more authors to do the same, encouraging people to discover other authors’ books and blogs. My good friend John Everson did one of these last week, and tagged me. I’ve tagged five more authors (see the bottom of this blog). So here…
- Dealing with Alzheimer’sby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by P.S. Gifford Alzheimer’s and dementia are cruel things to suffer from and, I must add, being a caregiver you must assume nothing- as everyday offers new challenges. At two this morning I literally cried. My father was calling for his mother- and asking where she was. But that wasn’t that generated those tears. What impacted so dramatically was the fact he was talking like a little boy. Not just his choice of…
- The Imageby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by P.S. Gifford The Image Have you ever looked hard at yourself in the mirror? Deep into your own eyes… And simply stared. And kept on staring until the image became fuzzy. Indistinguishable, hazy, confused… Yet you kept on staring until to realize, finally, to your horror, that it is no longer your own face staring back at you. But it is now the face of a stranger, but not quite, as there…
- My son turns nineteen todayby P.S. GiffordBy Guest Writer Today my son turns nineteen. Hardly seems possible….It is a bittersweet occasion as I know he is happy- but I will not be getting to see him. I rarely do. Jonathan was just eighteen months old when I met and fell in love with his mother. Things went fast and before I knew where I was I was raising him- and ultimately adopted him. Over the years I have written several dozen…
- Rattledby P.S. GiffordGuest Writer (unknown) Words are rattling in my soul-That are longing to break free…So here I am a tap-tapping keysin an attempt to make them be! But all that rose to the surfaceIs this awkward and clumsy verse.Should I stop my tap-tapping now,before I make it any worse? When inside they seemed profound…and begged me to be written.Oh they seemed so beautiful!And I was completely smitten. So coffee cup full, I eagerly,began planning their emancipation.My…
- PS Gifford’s websiteby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by PS Gifford The Great Shoe Caper This is an absolutely true account, none of the names or facts have been changed to protect the innocent, because there were no actual innocents involved. It was an incredible ten years ago it all happened, almost exactly to today’s date. It was my only day off from my work managing a restaurant, a Tuesday, and I decided to do whatever manly man wants to do…
- Hintsby P.S. GiffordHelpful Hints from Helloise “Thanks for all the feedback on last weeks helpful hint ‘Be kind to your chainsaw and it will be kind to you.’ And Bob in the Bronx- that was a brilliant and rather creative notion you had for eliminating your mother-in-law. Please let me know how it works out for you. Well today s tip is how to remove a dead body from your kitchen floor. I am quite sure that…
- Entombedby P.S. GiffordEntombed It all began with a bet. I would suspect that a lot of bad things begin with a bet. Well, that combined with an evening down at the pub. This actually did not start at a pub per se, but at a rum shop, the Bajan equivalent. It was after the seventh rum and coke that Paul Griffin pulled out of his pocket a picture his wife had taken of him the day before.…
- My websiteby P.S. GiffordPaperback writer by PS Gifford Words have always been my allies. They have comforted, cared and consoled me during sadness, encouraged, enriched and entertained me at my most dire moments, and supported, sustained and shared in my occasional victories. I have traveled the world, been transported in time and lived in the minds of writers substantially greater than my own. Conversely my own writing has been the greatest of therapists, the most understanding of councilors,…
- KillerCon Vegasby P.S. GiffordKillerCon What an amazing weekend I had. In fact amazing is quite the understatement. I have to confess I did have concerns as the morning prior to my departure I discover that the location changed. No longer was it to be held at the Palace Station but at the Stratosphere. Now bear in mind that many folks were traveling from distant parts. A quick phone call resulted in my money back from the Palace and…
- killerconby P.S. GiffordKillerCon What an amazing weekend I had. In fact amazing is quite the understatement. I have to confess I did have concerns as the morning prior to my departure I discover that the location changed. No longer was it to be held at the Palace Station but at the Stratosphere. Now bear in mind that many folks were traveling from distant parts. A quick phone call resulted in my money back from the Palace and…
- High Techby P.S. GiffordI have just been in a terrible predicament, A tight spot which I am sure will make the strongest stomached of readers wince. A dilemma which I have also considered but never dared to consider would happen. Well happen it did. I was busying myself in the kitchen preparing my pot of coffee, tomorrow’s lunch for Jonathan and Sarah and putting some meat in the oven for the dogs. I emptied the mornings used coffee…
- KillerCon Vegas- my first dayby P.S. GiffordWhat an interesting weekend this turned out to be. To be perfectly frank I wasn’t highly motivated about attending- and barely prepared for the trip. Besides I was broke- and Vegas isn’t the cheapest place to hang out at. On Thursday morning, after another of a string of sleepless nights, I dropped off Chester at the boarding kennels and Sir Winston with my father, and loaded up my truck. It always breaks my heart leaving…
- click for more info on P.S. Giffordby P.S. GiffordFoolproof plan “It’s a bloody foolproof plan!” Charlie Watkins stated matter-of-factly with the usual upbeat optimistic tone to his voice and then promptly, wit one gulp, downed the last of his pint. He licked his lips in satisfaction, “it simply must work.” Jimmy and Cuthbert intently studied Charlie’s plump red rosy cheeks and rolled their eyes in unison. They had heard those very words all too often before and they virtually always meant trouble was…
- My experience at the Bram Stoker awardsby P.S. GiffordI did the signing at Dark Delicacies on Thursday night- and whilst everyone else was heading back to the hotel to drink and mingle- I headed home. I live sixty miles or so from Burbank. I took my son to the signing- but I wanted my wife at the Stokers. The signing itself was a hoot- more like a party than anything else. Imagine close to thirty horror writers crammed into the coolest book store…
- A terrible predicamentby P.S. GiffordI have just been in a terrible predicament, A tight spot which I am sure will make the strongest stomached of readers wince. A dilemma which I have also considered but never dared to consider would happen. Well happen it did. I was busying myself in the kitchen preparing my pot of coffee, tomorrow’s lunch for Jonathan and Sarah and putting some meat in the oven for the dogs. I emptied the mornings used coffee…
- Check out P.S. Gifford’s website and details of his booksby P.S. GiffordKing for a day. by P.S. Gifford “Be treated like a King,” the flashy brochure said about the off the beacon track boutique hotel in Bordeaux. After the last few weeks I felt that I deserved to be treated like a king. My wife left me four weeks ago for the marriage councilor my therapist had advised me to go to. I found myself still paying the mortgage to me three-bedroom semi-detached house in the…
- P.S. Gifford’s websiteby P.S. GiffordThe Button By P. S. Gifford “Press the F7 button on your keypad for a surprise.” The even toned voiced echoed from the computer’s speakers. “What? Who said that?” Andrew stared his unfinished poem on the screen. The one that was finally get him acknowledged by his peers. “I am your computer Andrew.” The voice replied. “Now please do what I ask and press the F7 button for a wonderful surprise.” “But since when did…
- Check out my latest book!by P.S. GiffordSid sat at the kitchen table, reading his morning newspaper. He couldn’t help but glance longingly at the empty chair across from him, especially as today was May 12th–his 75th birthday. “Seventy-five years old,” he mused. “Who would have ever thought it?” The day was noteworthy for another reason: the carnival was back in town. In fact, for the past 50 years, the very same carnival made the annual journey to his little town of…
- Pre-order my next book for less than 8 dollars!by P.S. GiffordThe Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend — P.S. Gifford The Further Accounts of the Imaginary FriendExpected Release — June 1, 2009Genre: HorrorAuthor: P.S. GiffordRated: R The Imaginary Friend is back in this long-awaited sequel to THE CURIOUS ACCOUNTS OF THE IMAGINARY FRIEND. For those of you who have yet to make his acquaintance, the Imaginary Friend is the one you conjure up for conversation when you’re consumed with loneliness, greed or visions of imminent…
- How to pre-order my latest book for under 8 dollarsby P.S. GiffordFURTHER ACCOUNTS OF THE IMAGINARY FRIEND to be Released on June 1, 2009 Virtual Tales, a publisher of eBooks, eSerials and trade paperbacks spanning a variety of fiction genres and styles, announced that the simultaneous print and eBook release for THE FURTHER ACCOUNTS OF THE IMAGINARY FRIEND by horror author P.S. Gifford will take place on Monday, June 1, 2009. The book is the highly anticipated sequel to Mr. Gifford’s first book, THE CURIOUS ACCOUNTS…
- The Messageby P.S. GiffordThe Message Yesterday was mother’s day. The basic plan was a day of laziness for my wife- who is the hardest working person I have ever known. She awoke yesterday to get the usual cards and chocolates- and our sixteen year old son Jonathan cooked breakfast. My wife had expected me to cook dinner that night- as I am the one who always cooks. However I had something a tad more exciting up my sleeve…A…
- The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend.by P.S. GiffordI am thrilled to announce that my latest book is being printed as I type. Its first public outing will be in Nashville at the wildly entertaining HyperiCon- June 5th-7th Check out who will be there! Author Guest of Honor Brian Keene Artist Guest of Honor Steven Gilberts Fan Guest of Honor Bob (Outsidecon) Embler Special Filk Guest Kathy Mar Special Author Guests Glen Cook, Jonathan Maberry Author Guests D.A. Adams, Michael A Banks, David…
- The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend.by P.S. GiffordMy latest book “The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend,” is being printed as I type. Its first two public outings wqill be at HyperiCon, with the likes of Brian Keene, John Everson, Alicia Benson, Jonathan Maberry and whole bunch more of amazing talent. For more information check out http://www.hypericon.info/ – Then on June 11th I will be part of another incredible line up of writers signing at the world famous bookstore Dark Delicacies in…
- PS Gifford – Curious Accounts of the Imaginary Friend Promo …by P.S. GiffordShare on FacebookTweetFollow us
- click here to discover more about P.S. Gifford- and why you should care.by P.S. GiffordANTICIPATION By P.S. Gifford “Honey come look what I’ve wrote, “P.S. Gifford the horror author spoke. His wife ,Sarah, spoke hinting despair . “Okay my love I shall soon be there. But I hope it isn’t crammed with gore, blood and guts and the nevermore, with writhing agonies, carnage and death and narrative thieving away my breath. Or of ghastly ghosts prowling the night jolting innocent souls with fright. Zombies returning from the dead, all…
- life is rarely dull when you are a parent to a sixteen year old..by P.S. GiffordLife is rarely dull when you have sixteen year old boy in the house. Now I feel obliged to preface this by saying that Jonathan is typically a very well balanced, good-natured, hard working teenager. But yet hormones and adrenaline along with a constant need to be independent causes dilemmas. Yesterday was a typical point in case. Having just turned sixteen it was mutually decided that he should play a more active role in housework-…
- Teenagersby P.S. GiffordLife is rarely dull when you have sixteen year old boy in the house. Now I feel obliged to preface this by saying that Jonathan is typically a very well balanced, good-natured, hard working teenager. But yet hormones and adrenaline along with a constant need to be independent causes dilemmas. Yesterday was a typical pint in case. Having just turned sixteen it was mutually decided that he should play a more active role in housework-…
- Entombedby P.S. GiffordIt all began with a bet. I would suspect that a lot of bad things begin with a bet. Well, that combined with an evening down at the pub. This actually did not start at a pub per se, but at a rum shop, the Bajan equivalent. It was after the seventh rum and coke that Paul Griffin pulled out of his pocket a picture his wife had taken of him the day before. The…
- The maddening world of P.S. Giffordby P.S. GiffordThe Submission By P.S. Gifford Phil Griffin shook his head sharply from side to side, in abrupt harsh gestures. “One day I will show them!” He abruptly blurted out loud as if a volcano of anger had erupted deep in his very being. “I will, I will definitely show them. I will write the most twisted fiction they have ever read. What a marvelous day that will be.” Still shaking his head he began to…
- Imagine losing your hand?by P.S. GiffordI have just been in a terrible predicament. A tight spot which I am sure will make the strongest stomached of readers wince. A dilemma which I have also considered but never dared to consider would happen. Well happen it did. I was busying myself in the kitchen preparing my pot of coffee, tomorrow’s lunch for Jonathan and Sarah and putting some meat in the oven for the dogs. I emptied the mornings used coffee…
- San Francisco account…by P.S. Gifford“The Curious Account of San Francisco.” Part one of a link embedded tale of my experience in San Francisco. On Saturday, bright and early, my wife and I hopped in our car and headed north up interstate five. Seven hours later we arrived at our destination- San Francisco, where I was going to have a signing the following day. We were greeted to the city by the awe- inspiring Oakland Bay Bridge (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Francisco-Oakland_Bay_Bridge). I must…
- click here to discover more about P.S. Giffordby P.S. GiffordThe Dentist Visit By P.S.Gifford. It was on Sunday night when it happened. Whilst I was watching the latest Hallmark movie on CBS, and doing the crying that always accompanies such an experience. I was nibbling on a rather tasty bit of Brie when a crown managed to free itself from one of my back teeth. Now as luck would have it, or otherwise, my sister-in-law is a dental hygienist and has worked for the…
- The Bucketby P.S. GiffordThe Bucket P.S. Gifford As a boy of eight I had very few toys. However, one thing I played with more than any other object was an old metal bucket. I think it belonged to my grand dad originally. I used to go everywhere with my trusted bucket. In fact bucket boy even became my nickname. I did not mind- everyone I knew had a nickname and most were a lot worse. If I went…
- The Great Shoe Caperby P.S. GiffordThe Great Shoe CaperBy P.S. Gifford This is a true account, none of the names or facts have been changed to protect the innocent, as there were no actual innocents involved.It was an incredible ten years ago it all happened, almost exactly to today’s date. It was my only day off from my work managing a restaurant, a Tuesday, and I decided to do whatever manly man wants to do on his one and only…
- A story for Halloweenby P.S. GiffordThe Pumpkin Patch By P.S. GiffordIs everybody sitting comfortably boys and girls? Jolly good then I shall begin… Peter Perry’s young pale blue eyes peeled open in pleasure as he peered at all the pumpkins perched about the perfect pumpkin patch. ‘Golly gee,’ he thought as his eyes bounced from one pumpkin to the next, ‘which one should I chose for tomorrow?’ There were pumpkins of various sizes, from tiny baby ones, up to ones…
- Dark Delicacies Bookshopby P.S. GiffordThis is where I will be signing my books on October 24th! Share on FacebookTweetFollow us
- Killer Titsby P.S. GiffordShare on FacebookTweetFollow us
- The Beast Withinby P.S. GiffordBy P.S. Gifford Suddenly he awoke, stretching lazily. He opened his eyes and looked straight into the glare of the fire which was blazing gleefully within the hearth. Momentarily startled he quickly became hypnotized by the flames as they danced within their prison, realizing he must have fallen asleep in the chair again. After a few more moments of relaxation he from his resting place. It had gotten late. He peered out of the crack…
- Imagination land- and major book signing.by P.S. GiffordP.S. Gifford shall be signing his two recent books at Dark Delicacies in Burbank on October 24th- for more onformation please visit http://www.darkdel.com/ and click under signings and events…As you see I am with some impressive company.Thanks to everyone for their continued support- I am living out my dream. Paul Imagination LandBy P.S.Gifford The wanderer wondered about his dreams,he wondered if reality was all that it seemed.He wondered if dreams were what really were true,he…
- Imagination land- and major book signing.by P.S. GiffordP.S. Gifford shall be signing his two recent books at Dark Delicacies in Burbank on October 24th- for more onformation please visit www.dark.del.com and click under signings and events…As you see I am with some impressive company. Thanks to everyone for their continued support- I am living out my dream. Paul Imagination Land By P.S.Gifford The wanderer wondered about his dreams,he wondered if reality was all that it seemed.He wondered if dreams were what really…
- TrueLove- Tasha’s story.by P.S. GiffordYesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. I made the difficult decision to have my beloved Tasha- a gorgeous German shepherd/ Collie mix to sleep. She had been vomiting for the last couple of days and they had done all the tests on her. The results came back with about the worst possible news- her kidneys had failed. This meant that she was slowly- and painfully- being poisoned. I was told that…
- Killer Titsby P.S. GiffordShare on FacebookTweetFollow us
- Hypericon blog…by P.S. GiffordI can honestly say that HyperiCon was one of the greatest weekends of my life- and it was privelage to be there and be a part of it. It was also wonderful that my fifteen year old son came along. As an aspiring artist he was appropiately inspired- and given some sound advice by some accomplished individuals. Before I go any further I have to say a gargantuan (yes that big-) thank you to Deanna…
- PS Gifford’s weird websiteby P.S. GiffordHelpful Hints from Helloise Thanks for all the feedback on last months helpful hint ‘Be kind to your chainsaw and it will be kind to you.’ And Bob in the Bronx- that was a brilliant and rather creative notion you had for eliminating your mother-in-law. Please let me know how it works out for you. Well today’s tip is how to remove a dead body from your kitchen floor. I am quite sure that I…
- The Perfect Man – By PS Giffordby P.S. GiffordShare on FacebookTweetFollow us
- psgifford.comby P.S. GiffordMolly It was on the third anniversary of wife’s death that Molly came into my life. I realized, at age thirty-four, that I could not bear being alone anymore- and dating again was completely out of the question. So off I went to the local animal shelter. It truly tugged my heart seeing all the dogs in their prisons. I seriously wanted to take them all home. However the moment I set my eyes on…
- PS Gifford’s websiteby P.S. GiffordBrick by brick By P.S. Gifford Ed paused from his task and took another long, steady swig from his bottle. “Boy, did I need that,” he said wiping spittle from his chin with the back of his hand, “another forty bricks or so should do it I reckon.” He returned the bottle safely to the ground adjacent to the clutter of bricks. “This is taking longer than I thought it was going to.” With that,…
- the weird worlds of P.S. Giffordby P.S. GiffordLong Memories Mary Higgins sat there looking at the screwdriver in her hand and then looked at the body of her dying husband at the site of the new house they were having built. It was a muggy afternoon on the 2nd of August, 1956. She had only married Sam a few months earlier. She supposed it was more to do with family convenience than love. Mary had never loved Sam, never had the slightest…
- Just for you…by P.S. GiffordBy P.S. Gifford Have you ever wanted to murder someone? Please, please, read on I am deadly serious. So, have you ever wanted to murder someone? I don’t mean wished them dead…But actually seriously considered the process of killing.. Lay in bed at night and played with the tantalizing concept? Contemplated strangulation, poisoning or a good old-fashioned stabbing? I know that notion undoubtedly makes you feel uncomfortable…I know also that you are squirming in your…
- The Razorby P.S. GiffordAs I feel my stubble on my chin.I stare at my straight-razor,sitting patiently on my sink top.It twinkles menacingly in the neon overhead light.Almost as if trying to communicate with me. But alas,I know all too well-precisely what it is endeavoring to tell me.And I furthermore comprehend,that once I grasp its glorious galvanized handle.I shall feel those intense, overwhelming, delicious desires once more. The desire to hunt my prey.The desire for human blood.The desire to…
- Curious Accounts of the Imaginary Friend – Promoby P.S. GiffordShare on FacebookTweetFollow us
- 30% off Virtual Tales eBooks/eSerials with better deliveryby P.S. GiffordVirtual Tales is offering for a limited time only the best price you can get anywhere on these titles, what more it is easy to get a free trial of any story to find one that you like. read more | digg story Share on FacebookTweetFollow us
- A true tale…by P.S. GiffordThe Yorkshire Honeymoon By P.S .GiffordOn September 26th 1998 I got married. A date I shall never forget, in fact a date I am terrified to forget if truth be known. Not that I ever would, as it was simply, unquestioningly the single best day of my life… As money was a concern we had decided to get married in Las Vegas, at the Monte Carlo to be precise. Now, I know that the image…
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