Didn’t know we were required to write our columns even during the holiday season.
Just found that out, but it really makes no difference since I had a very bad holiday season.
I was under the impression that we would be getting an Xmas bonus this year, so I contracted a contractor that builds pools to build a pool in our backyard.
I even had a model of the pool and when you pressed down and released the little diving board, it made a “sproing” sound.
Well, the closer to Xmas is came and there was no bonus check, I was getting a little bit restless and annoyed. Went over to the in-laws house on Xmas day to celebrate and I didn’t even mind that I got to sit next to someone who had Covid (even though we didn’t find out about it the next day).
The day went, and back home we went. Imagine my surprise when I found an envelope on the front door! I tore that sucker open and now imagine my surprise when I found a certificate stating that I had been enrolled in a Ketchup Of The Month Program.
So teed off was I that I called my cousin who just got out of treatment, old him what happened, and he wet ahead and drove down to The Weirdcrap headquarters and blew it up.
Now he’s back in treatment and the only thing I have left pool-wise is the teeny diving board that goes “sproing”.
(Nope, still haven’t replaced my keyboard.)
Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!