This Might Sound Familiar


Didn’t know we were required to write our columns even during the holiday season.

Just found that out, but it really makes no difference since I had a very bad holiday season.

I was under the impression that we would be getting an Xmas bonus this year, so I contracted a contractor that builds pools to build a pool in our backyard.

I even had a model of the pool and when you pressed down and released the little diving board, it made a “sproing” sound.


Well, the closer to Xmas is came and there was no bonus check, I was getting a little bit restless and annoyed. Went over to the in-laws house on Xmas day to celebrate and I didn’t even mind that I got to sit next to someone who had Covid (even though we didn’t find out about it the next day).

The day went, and back home we went. Imagine my surprise when I found an envelope on the front door! I tore that sucker open and now imagine my surprise when I found a certificate stating that I had been enrolled in a Ketchup Of The Month Program.

So teed off was I that I called my cousin who just got out of treatment, old him what happened, and he wet ahead and drove down to The Weirdcrap headquarters and blew it up.

Now he’s back in treatment and the only thing I have left pool-wise is the teeny diving board that goes “sproing”.

(Nope, still haven’t replaced my keyboard.)

More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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