Ask Bob Senitram

By Bob Senitram

Bob Senitram has been infecting the world with nonsense since Al Gore invented the inter-web.

Lunatic Columns | Ask Bob | Lunatic Ravings | Chick Shit | Guest Writers

  • People Make Me Sick!
    by admin
    Last week Stephen Johnson, decided to grace TheWeirdcrap.com headquarters with his presence… WE INTERRUPT THE REGULAR PROGRAM TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE: 20 years ago, Bryan Deno submitted one of my favorite stories, “The Not-So-Politically Correct Tale of Joe Poe“. If you haven’t read it…go read it now! 20 years later he finally submitted a second story called “The…
  • Nursery Rhymes For New Parents!
    by Bob Senitram
    Parenting is hard work, there’s planes to catch and bills to pay and you still have to find time to learn those kids! So, for all you new parents, I wrote some nice short stories that you can tell your children. They’ll be entertained and grow to be wise and street smart. Franky, The Boy Who Wouldn’t Eat his Veggies.…
  • She Gets Hungriest at Night…
    by Bob Senitram
    This week, Stephen explains what happened to Chuck Cunningham, Opy Cunninghams older brother who disappeared in the first season! Speaking of columns on TheWeirdcrap.com, if you want to write a column as a guest and have it published with all the other nonsense, well, you can! Who told you, you couldn’t? Oh yea, if your too lazy to write a…
  • Winter Road Trip Part II
    by Bob Senitram
    Last week I shared how google decided to drive us right into the eye of a winter storm on the way to Minneapolis. We got to the hotel which was much nicer than I was expecting. Usually, our trips lead us to a chain hotel with a fancy name, but the rooms and accommodations aren’t much better that what you…
  • The Winter Roadtrip 2023
    by Bob Senitram
    After a nice hard winter, the ol’ lady decided that a winter road trip would be fun. She had some out of state work, so we decided to pack up and head to beautiful-sunny Minneapolis where the grass is greener, and kids are all above average. On the morning to leave, we were greeted with a good helping of snow.…
  • The Meaning of Life
    by Bob Senitram
    Michael asks:My names Michael and I feel it has been impossible to find my meaning. I have classified myself and a “wondering wonderer”, also known as a drifter. So now I ask you, the knower of all questions to help me find my meaning. You can also Ask Bob a question! Dear Michael: Your meaning is not as complicated as…
  • About that Alaska “balloon”
    by Bob Senitram
    You may have read about the air force shooting down that “balloon” in Alaska. But In have to tell the REAL story of what happened out there. As you may suspect, this is a gigantic government cover-up. I know, because I, Bob Senitram, was there! It just so happens that I’m a member of the Alaskan Caribou of the Month…
  • Bobs Guide on How to Be Human
    by Bob Senitram
    With all the violence in society these days, I got to thinkin’, people need some rules that they can follow without all the confusion of congressional legislation. Of course, we got the ten commandments. But for a lot of folks, it just doesn’t sink in. Either that, or 10 rules is just too much to remember. So, I came up…
  • Why Dogs Eat Poo – Part VI
    by Bob Senitram
    I get in the elevator and my guide hits a few buttons and it feels like we’re going down. “Are we in an elevator?” I ask. “Sure.” The guide responds. “Then what are all these buttons? Doesn’t an elevator just go up and down?” “Sure.” “So, the dog race, it doesn’t survive, but some pups survive, and they can digest…
  • The History of Our Planet Part V
    by Bob Senitram
    About 2 months ago, I set out to explain why dogs eat their own poo. Well, I’ll get to it. I just got sidetracked, and explaining how I came to know the answer to that question required a bit of an explanation. If you’re coming in the middle of this movie, then here’s the links to the columns that lead…
  • The 2023 Annual Predictions!
    by Bob Senitram
    I decided to revitalize the Yearly Predictions, started decades ago. So far, none of my predictions have come true. But I figure if I keep swinging, eventually I’ll hit a home run! Entertainment:Reality shows make a comeback! People will love them in 2023. And they won’t just be on the cheap cable channels. Every major network and streaming service will…
  • My Birthday/Xmas Special
    by Bob Senitram
    I interrupt my special 10-part episode of explaining why dogs eat poo to present this special holiday column. You see my birthday falls on the day that writers for TheWeirdcrap.com must submit thier copies for publication, so I asked, “Hey, it’s my birthday, can I skip this week and still get the $1.20 fee for my weekly column. I got…
  • History of the Dog Planet Part IV
    by Bob Senitram
    Well, a month ago I set out to explain why some dogs eat their own poo and we ended up with a history of Earth. If your not up to speed, or your just too lazy to read the previous installments, here’s what happened in a nutshell. A mysterious being appeared and lead me to a buried device. I took…
  • History of the Earth Part III
    by Bob Senitram
    Last week, I got to witness the first slim, silver, almond eyed Earthlings as they exited the planet before it was consumed by meteors and reduced to a molten rock floating in space. Now, in my timeless state I witness as our planet cools over a millenium. Continents, oceans and vegetation appear, but they don’t look familiar. As time slows…
  • Just Another Day
    by Bob Senitram
    Well, I spent hours this week on my story about the History of the Earth to help explain why dogs eat their own poo. But I didn’t like the direction of this last installment, so I fired the leading character and a rewrite will show up next week. You can still Ask Bob a question, although, it may take a…
  • History of the Earth Part II
    by Bob Senitram
    Last week the magical entity that appeared offered to provide me with the history of the Earth. You can Ask Bob a Question… So I said ok. He had me dig up some object deep in the ground, then he told me to plug it into my USB. “So how is this gonna work?” I asked. “The USB will provide…
  • The History of Earth, Part I
    by Bob Senitram
    In answering last weeks question, “Why do dogs eat shit,” I find it necessary to provide the history of our planet in order to get to the bottom of it all. After a dream about big bullum-headed, almond eyed aliens exiting a planet, I wanted answers. Then a being appeared to me and directed me to a sacred spot in…
  • Ask Bob is now an AWARD WINNING COLUMN!!!
    by Bob Senitram
    I would like to proudly announce the management of TheWeirdcrap.com has awarded the Ask Bob column a prestigious award. I am now the recipient of the “Flying Fickle Finger of Fate” Award. It was explained to me that the owners wanted to give me “The Finger” in a family friendly way…so this was it. Sure, it’s just a two inch…
  • I Have A Sad Story To Tell You
    by Bob Senitram
    I have a sad story to tell you. But first, remember you can ASK BOB any question you want…I have a degree in S-C-I-E-N-C-E. As Autumn ends, my two month battle against leaves is coming to a close. You see, my house is surrounded by two and three story trees, that fill the yard with feet…not inches…feet high piles of…
  • Fiction, Covid, and Midterms…Oh, my!
    by Bob Senitram
    Before I get started, I want to mention the new system we have for submitting short stories. If your like me and you just write stuff for the hell of it. You can submit your stories or your own column like this one, to TheWeirdcrap.com and we’ll feature it for others to enjoy. Sure, maybe your ideas seem like they’re…
  • A Very Scary Senitram Special
    by Bob Senitram
    So I’m no more that 10 years old when I went downstairs after I finished my homework to hear my father talking to our Priest. Father: I was at the hospital, Mr. Senitram, the night your son was born. I witnessed the birth. I beg you…You must take communion. Drink the blood of Christ and eat his flesh. Only if…
  • Read The Fine Print…
    by Bob Senitram
    New and Improved disclaimer from the Editor: It has come to the attention of the staff and management of TheWeirdcrap.com that Bob Senitram has been handing out unwise and somewhat dangerous advice. Our lawyers have advised us that we need to urge readers not to follow any medical, ethical, or financial advice given by Bob. He is not a medical…
  • Much Ado About Nothing…
    by Bob Senitram
    The whole weekend went by and I just realized I never wrote a column this week. I was going to write about a game show staring Samuel A. Jackson, but it wasn’t very interesting. So in the last minute I scrapped that idea and decided to write a column about nothing. Hopefully, the big wigs in corporate will check the…
  • Sunflowers and The Mutha-Fucka
    by Bob Senitram
    This weeks visitor mail included mutha-fucka’s and sunflowers!Ask Bob a question here. From Cindy, “Hey Bob! My name is Cindy and I’m from Minnesota! I like chichiwas and ramen noodles. My question: Lately sunflowers have been eerie on my mind, why?” Dear Cindy: Well with holloween just around the corner that is understandable. You see, summer is just about to…
  • The All Night DJ at WJAZ
    by Bob Senitram
    Before I tell you about my all night DJ gig, I must remind you to Ask Bob a question. I have a degree in SCIENCE! So as I had mentioned in previous columns, dumb luck landed me a pretty sweet part time in radio job as a teen. It was 1980 something, and I was in my early twenties and…
  • I Was A Teenage DJ: The Wrath of Marge
    by Bob Senitram
    There I was, a teenage DJ working part time at a religious radio station. I did a weekend shift and in the summer I worked evenings. The pay would be low if you were raising a family, but for a teenager it wasn’t too bad. I did other chores too, the first year they were in business, I painted the…
  • The High School DJ
    by Bob Senitram
    In the last Ask Bob I explained my unlikely introduction into radio broadcasting, so we’ll just keep going. P.S. You can Ask Bob a question, lately I only get spam and invitations to gamer and gambling websites, so your question about the world or life in general would be a nice change of pace! So there I was, a 17…
  • My First Radio Job
    by Bob Senitram
    About 65 years ago I was in a Broadcast Radio Class at a Technical High School in my hometown of good ol’ Omaha, Nebraska. In Nebraska, this was new state of the art technology. As part of the class, I interned at a local Christian Radio station where I pulled weather forcasts off the telegraph machine. The machine stood about…
  • Can you vomit up your own poo?
    by Bob Senitram
    The vomiting poo question was sent a few weeks ago, and now 3 weeks later I still haven’t answered! So if we get a few more folks Asking Bob a question, I won’t have to milk one question for 3 weeks. But then again, I ramble, so maybe nothing will change if I get more questions… The only way I…
  • How Much Vomit Would A Person Vomit If A…Oh Forget It!
    by Bob Senitram
    Yoyo asks:If I vomit a lot will I eventually vomit up my own poo? And if so, where will it end? This had to be scientifically tested. I got the idea in my head of how to do this, I would be the placebo and Jerome would be the test subject. Jerome didn’t want to help at first, but he…
  • Go On Now…GIT!
    by Bob Senitram
    An email from Tony: Ldkfjg\#%$9473&rmsrijgdkg525455f;fuslvpesa,cvoes,d* Well Tony, if that is your real name, I take issue with “esa”. I just don’t think that kind of language is necessary…but, ok. Nice to know that TheWeirdcrap.com has spanded the globe and now has expanded to the outer reaches of the galaxy. Obviously, this is an alien language and I’ll interpret it the…
  • The Towering Inferno Part III or Tragedy Times Two
    by Bob Senitram
    Remember, you can Ask Bob a question about anything! Last week I described how Omaha was all abuzz about the new 20 story building in Omaha’s mud and brick landscape, built by none other but Stephen’s money mongering father who took every short cut in the book to save money on construction. Starla, my theoretical homecoming date was excited that…
  • The Towing Inferno Part Two – THE BUILDING
    by Bob Senitram
    Before I get to that towering inferno stuff, last week, I was explaining what I was doing in “THE BUILDING” when Stephen caught fire to it. But before that, remember you can ASK BOB a question anytime you want! Use the email, it’s free! There’s no long distance fees or anything, the internet drove those guys out of business. First,…
  • The Towing Inferno Part One, or Bobby Cant Drive Worth Shit
    by Bob Senitram
    Last week, I promised to tell the story of how I ended up in that towering inferno where I first met Stephen. So here it is… It was August of 1970 something, when I asked Starla to the homecoming dance. She was a popular, attractive cheerleader with 70s feathered hair. “I…uh, was thinking of going to homecoming. And, and, well…
  • Whats All This About Overturning Elections?
    by Bob Senitram
    With all the talk about a “certain someone” overturning elections, I thought this column written last year would be relevant. It not only includes the 2020 election cover-up, but also reveals the truth about the 2016 election. I told Steven Johnson I would never speak of it, but I’m gonna anyways. Also, this includes the time I saved Steven’s life…
  • Senitram Road Trip 2022 : Part Two
    by Bob Senitram
    In the Senitram road trip part one, I explained how we traveled across the country to visit my homestate of good ‘ol Nebraska. I’m from Omaha, but we kept going out to the western part of the state where we spent $500 to stay in a WWII POW camp, which was previously a Calvary Fort, back in the day. I…
  • The Senitram Road Trip 2022
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob Senitram It’s that time of year again where we plan the anual Senitram road trip. Schools out and the ol’ Lady flips thru travel magazines looking for ways to spend hard earned pay… I mean create meaningful experiences for our daughter. You can Ask Bob a question!He knows more than you! He has a degree in S-C-I-E-N-C-E. Instead…
  • A Most Rediculous Haircut
    by Bob Senitram
    Before I go on about my haircut, I have to talk about that Facebook and Instagram thing. For those who don’t know, TheWeirdcrap’s Facebook page was hacked last week. I’ve been thinking. If someone other than me logged into TheWeirdcrap’s Facebook page, why didn’t I get one of those notices that someone logged in from a different computer? That seems…
  • Pulling Stuff out of my Ass..
    by Bob Senitram
    Before I get to that “out of my ass…” stuff, I got a big announcement: In case anyone keeps track, there have been no updates on facebook or instagram for a week. Someone hacked into my TheWeirdcrap facebook page and posted some horrible things that got me kicked off. Oh, god those hacka’s. It seems lacking to me that facebook…
  • BREAKING NEWS!!! World War III is cancelled!
    by Bob Senitram
    Last week Jacob asked: So, is this World War III and the end of the world as we know it? But I talked about masks and toilet paper, and never got around to answering his question. But, wouldn’t you know it, the day after I write about masks, a judge reverses CDC’s authority to issue mask mandates. Basically, she stated…

ARCHIVES

facebookShare on Facebook
TwitterTweet
FollowFollow us