Ask Bob

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“Ask Bob” by Bob Senitram has been infecting the world with nonsense since Al Gore invented the interweb. Everything from the origin of the universe to the origin of the chronic butt itch.

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The Very Most Recent Things!

History of the Earth Part II

November 26, 2022

Last week the magical entity that appeared offered to provide me with the history of the Earth. You can Ask Bob a Question… So I said ok. He had me dig up some object deep in the ground, then he told me to plug it…

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The History of Earth, Part I

November 20, 2022

In answering last weeks question, “Why do dogs eat shit,” I find it necessary to provide the history of our planet in order to get to the bottom of it all. After a dream about big bullum-headed, almond eyed aliens exiting a planet, I wanted…

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Ask Bob is now an AWARD WINNING COLUMN!!!

November 13, 2022

I would like to proudly announce the management of has awarded the Ask Bob column a prestigious award. I am now the recipient of the “Flying Fickle Finger of Fate” Award. It was explained to me that the owners wanted to give me “The…

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I Have A Sad Story To Tell You

November 5, 2022

I have a sad story to tell you. But first, remember you can ASK BOB any question you want…I have a degree in S-C-I-E-N-C-E. As Autumn ends, my two month battle against leaves is coming to a close. You see, my house is surrounded by…

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Fiction, Covid, and Midterms…Oh, my!

October 29, 2022

Before I get started, I want to mention the new system we have for submitting short stories. If your like me and you just write stuff for the hell of it. You can submit your stories or your own column like this one, to…

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A Very Scary Senitram Special

October 22, 2022

So I’m no more that 10 years old when I went downstairs after I finished my homework to hear my father talking to our Priest. Father: I was at the hospital, Mr. Senitram, the night your son was born. I witnessed the birth. I beg…

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Read The Fine Print…

October 9, 2022

New and Improved disclaimer from the Editor: It has come to the attention of the staff and management of that Bob Senitram has been handing out unwise and somewhat dangerous advice. Our lawyers have advised us that we need to urge readers not to…

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Much Ado About Nothing…

October 2, 2022

The whole weekend went by and I just realized I never wrote a column this week. I was going to write about a game show staring Samuel A. Jackson, but it wasn’t very interesting. So in the last minute I scrapped that idea and decided…

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Sunflowers and The Mutha-Fucka

September 24, 2022

This weeks visitor mail included mutha-fucka’s and sunflowers!Ask Bob a question here. From Cindy, “Hey Bob! My name is Cindy and I’m from Minnesota! I like chichiwas and ramen noodles. My question: Lately sunflowers have been eerie on my mind, why?” Dear Cindy: Well with…

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The All Night DJ at WJAZ

September 17, 2022

Before I tell you about my all night DJ gig, I must remind you to Ask Bob a question. I have a degree in SCIENCE! So as I had mentioned in previous columns, dumb luck landed me a pretty sweet part time in radio job…

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I Was A Teenage DJ: The Wrath of Marge

September 11, 2022

There I was, a teenage DJ working part time at a religious radio station. I did a weekend shift and in the summer I worked evenings. The pay would be low if you were raising a family, but for a teenager it wasn’t too bad….

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The High School DJ

September 3, 2022

In the last Ask Bob I explained my unlikely introduction into radio broadcasting, so we’ll just keep going. P.S. You can Ask Bob a question, lately I only get spam and invitations to gamer and gambling websites, so your question about the world or life…

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My First Radio Job

August 27, 2022

About 65 years ago I was in a Broadcast Radio Class at a Technical High School in my hometown of good ol’ Omaha, Nebraska. In Nebraska, this was new state of the art technology. As part of the class, I interned at a local Christian…

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Can you vomit up your own poo?

August 14, 2022

The vomiting poo question was sent a few weeks ago, and now 3 weeks later I still haven’t answered! So if we get a few more folks Asking Bob a question, I won’t have to milk one question for 3 weeks. But then again, I…

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How Much Vomit Would A Person Vomit If A…Oh Forget It!

August 6, 2022

Yoyo asks:If I vomit a lot will I eventually vomit up my own poo? And if so, where will it end? This had to be scientifically tested. I got the idea in my head of how to do this, I would be the placebo and…

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Go On Now…GIT!

July 31, 2022

An email from Tony: Ldkfjg\#%$9473&rmsrijgdkg525455f;fuslvpesa,cvoes,d* Well Tony, if that is your real name, I take issue with “esa”. I just don’t think that kind of language is necessary…but, ok. Nice to know that has spanded the globe and now has expanded to the outer…

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The Towering Inferno Part III or Tragedy Times Two

July 23, 2022

Remember, you can Ask Bob a question about anything! Last week I described how Omaha was all abuzz about the new 20 story building in Omaha’s mud and brick landscape, built by none other but Stephen’s money mongering father who took every short cut in…

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The Towing Inferno Part Two – THE BUILDING

July 10, 2022

Before I get to that towering inferno stuff, last week, I was explaining what I was doing in “THE BUILDING” when Stephen caught fire to it. But before that, remember you can ASK BOB a question anytime you want! Use the email, it’s free! There’s…

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The Towing Inferno Part One, or Bobby Cant Drive Worth Shit

July 2, 2022

Last week, I promised to tell the story of how I ended up in that towering inferno where I first met Stephen. So here it is… It was August of 1970 something, when I asked Starla to the homecoming dance. She was a popular, attractive…

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Whats All This About Overturning Elections?

June 24, 2022

With all the talk about a “certain someone” overturning elections, I thought this column written last year would be relevant. It not only includes the 2020 election cover-up, but also reveals the truth about the 2016 election. I told Steven Johnson I would never speak…

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Senitram Road Trip 2022 : Part Two

June 13, 2022

In the Senitram road trip part one, I explained how we traveled across the country to visit my homestate of good ‘ol Nebraska. I’m from Omaha, but we kept going out to the western part of the state where we spent $500 to stay in…

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The Senitram Road Trip 2022

June 5, 2022

By Bob Senitram It’s that time of year again where we plan the anual Senitram road trip. Schools out and the ol’ Lady flips thru travel magazines looking for ways to spend hard earned pay… I mean create meaningful experiences for our daughter. You can…

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A Most Rediculous Haircut

May 22, 2022

Before I go on about my haircut, I have to talk about that Facebook and Instagram thing. For those who don’t know, TheWeirdcrap’s Facebook page was hacked last week. I’ve been thinking. If someone other than me logged into TheWeirdcrap’s Facebook page, why didn’t I…

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Pulling Stuff out of my Ass..

May 15, 2022

Before I get to that “out of my ass…” stuff, I got a big announcement: In case anyone keeps track, there have been no updates on facebook or instagram for a week. Someone hacked into my TheWeirdcrap facebook page and posted some horrible things that…

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BREAKING NEWS!!! World War III is cancelled!

April 24, 2022

Last week Jacob asked: So, is this World War III and the end of the world as we know it? But I talked about masks and toilet paper, and never got around to answering his question. But, wouldn’t you know it, the day after I…

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Pandemics, inflation and War…Oh, My!

April 17, 2022

You can ask bob anything you want…I have a degree in SCIENCE! Jacob asks: So, is this World War III and the end of the world as we know it? Hey Jacob, thanks for sending a question! Well, folks always seem to think the end…

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B Batteries are The Bestest

April 2, 2022

The mysteries of the universe or B Batteries can be unlocked by simply deciding to “Ask Bob” a question. -He has a degree in SCIENCE! – Several weeks ago, I was asked: “Why are there no B batteries?” I reviewed hundreds of periodicals and newspapers…

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B Batteries are Badder: Bart Blue

March 27, 2022

B Batteries…where are they? This weeks column is finishing up from last week’s question. Feel free to “Ask Bob” a question.-He has a degree in SCIENCE!- Last week I was asked: “Why are there no B batteries?” But before we get into that, I would…

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B Batteries are Badder

March 20, 2022

Here’s an interesting question from Wayne: “Why are there no B batteries?” Remember you can still “Ask Bob” any question you want!-He has a degree in SCIENCE! – When I first read this, I thought it was some sort of joke. So, I went to…

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World War III

March 7, 2022

Before we move on to World War III, as Stephen mentioned TheWeirdcrap started long before Al Gore invented the inter-web. I’m still trying to find the first edition. When I find it, I’ll post the cover. Until then, here’s a pic of us in the…

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The Saga of Jerome: Part III; The Reckoning

February 19, 2022

Oh yes, you can ask Bob any question you want. I have a degree in……….SCIENCE! In case you’re wondering about all this Jerome stuff, here are some links to keep you up to date: The Return of Jerome Jerome Doesn’t Live Here Anymore Faced with…

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Jerome Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

February 6, 2022

In the last story of Jerome, I picked him up on a corner after receiving a phone call. He was frantically going on about how “They’re out to get him…” Jerome looked like the last 15 years have been pretty hard on him. He had…

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The Return of Jerome

January 30, 2022

It all started with a phone ring. “You got the time, I got the time!” “Is this Bob Senitram?” “Sure, who’s this?” “It’s Jerome, I need your help. They’re after me!” “Hey, Jerome I haven’t heard from you since…wait, what?” “You gotta come get me…

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Children of the Corn, or Children of the Cornhuskers…

January 23, 2022

On my last trip I was in Nebraska, and I did come across some children that had turned to evil! And as everyone knows all Nebraska children are born cornhuskers and are therefore children of the corn. And yes, as Stephen mentioned, I did have…

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Adventures in Truck Driving Part III: The Final Insult

January 9, 2022

No Means, NO! There were two things I missed the most when I drove over the road every day. First there was beer. No drinking for me when I was driving. You just didn’t get enough time off to recouperate. The second, TV shows (this…

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From The Ask Bob Archives!

Getting out!

December 11, 2006

Song in my head:First there is a mountain,Then there is no mountain,Then there is…-Donovan Well that all-too-awaited for report came out about what to do in Iraq. To summarize they decided to go with my original idea that “cut and run”, should be changed to…

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The Towing Inferno Part One, or Bobby Cant Drive Worth Shit

July 2, 2022

Last week, I promised to tell the story of how I ended up in that towering inferno where I first met Stephen. So here it is… It was August of 1970 something, when I asked Starla to the homecoming dance. She was a popular, attractive…

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Complete Lunatics Archives can be found HERE