Top Ten Of 2011

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

Kip Winger—From The Earth To The Sun

MoTW—Shaft

It’s been three weeks since I’ve written something new? Wow!

Kinda makes sense I suppose. Two weeks ago it was Xmas eve so really
COULDN’T write anything that day. Instead I watched the second Lord Of
The RIngs movie, since I had a goal to watch all three the last few
weeks of December. Then I had to take the woman to church so she could
get saved or something. I don’t know what they actually do in church any
longer, but I do know there were lots of folks sitting in their cars
while the “good” Catholics were listening to their songs, eating wafers
and drinking cheap wine. Next year I’ll bring a keg and us parking lot
folks can have ourselves our own party.

New Years eve was the third LOTR movie, then we went to see the newest
“Mission: Impossible” movie since we had free tickets. When we got home
I did what I do every New Years eve and that’s watch zombie movies.
Watched a couple of those and then another movie about a train crash and
by 10:06, I was asleep. Nope, no ball drop for me.

That’s why I didn’t write anything the last couple weeks. I WAS BUSY, to
borrow a line from “Commando”.

So now it’s a new year and all that shit and it’s time for my annual ten
best lists, the only lists that matter. All other lists suck and are
lists from jackoffs. You want good shit, you get shit from my list.

First we’ll go through the 10 best albums of 2010:

1. Electric Boys–And Them Boys Done Swang
2. Uriah Heep–Into The Wild
3. Anthrax–Worship Music
4. Megadeth–Th1rt3en
5. Edguy–Age Of The Joker
6. Queensryche–Dedicated To Chaos
7. Opeth–Heritage
8. Journey–Ecl1ps3
9. Black Country Communion–2
10. The Pretty Reckless–Light Me Up

If you like rock, you’ll like all these. Really. And yes, even
Queensryche which a lot of folks hate for some reason……

Now it gets harder with the top ten movies. The #1 movie was #1 in my
mind when I first saw it and I watched it again with the woman and SHE
liked it and she’s really picky about what she likes.

I don’t care if a movie has a message or not. I want to be entertained
and that’s it. I do like artsy-fartsy movies occasionally, but when I
fire up the home theater, I want action, blood, guts, explosions,
carnage, etc., etc. I’m not firing up the home theater to watch some
stupid sparkly vampire movie or to watch two losers talking in hushed
tones over what’s went wrong with their life.

So, here’s my top ten movies of 2011:

1. Sucker Punch (what am I missing? why do so many loathe this movie?)
2. Red State
3. Drive Angry (Amber Heard, ’nuff said)
4. Tucker & Dale vs Evil (worth it for the wood chipper scene alone)
5. Super
6. Hobo With A Shotgun (title says it all)
7. Scre4m (I must be stupid because I never could guess who the killer
was until the BIG REVEAL)
7. Super 8
8. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
9. X-Men First Class
10. Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

And that’s that. Another year, another waste of money on stuff I can’t
take with me when I’m dead and buried. Or can I?

COMING NEXT: Back to the grind of trying to entertain and failing
miserably

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beggining. The idea of writing weekly columns (blogs didn't exist yet) also came from Stephen. So I guess that makes him the creator of the "blog" phenomena.

https://theweirdcrap.com

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