Soccer Moms

It amazes me that everyone is worried about Elian, Microsoft, if God is real, will Oprah get really, really fat again, etc., when there is a more serious problem that plagues normal people every day of their life:

Those bitches in the minivans.

These so called “soccer moms” have no business being on the road, much less driving. However, they are somehow allowed on the road, and the cries of other drivers are being unheard.

Give them a cell phone, and the problem only gets worse. Instead of concentrating on the road, they are talking with Patsy at the salon arranging a good time to get a pedicure, because they are too pudgy to bend over and clip their own toenails.

I had one of these soccer moms fly past me and cut me off as I was going the speed limit. She was in the merge lane and, for some reason, needed to get ahead of me. I can still picture the look of pure terror on her daughters face as they passed me. Well, maybe it wasn’t terror, it might have been shock because I flipped them off and the little girl was the only one who saw it.

It bodes well for the future of today’s youth when their mother is basically telling them it is okay to break a law, like the speed limit, as long as they don’t get caught.

The beauty about this is either their jaw will fall of from radiation poisoning from using the cell phone too much, or the minivan will miraculously blow up while they are in it. Don’t get me wrong, I do not
want the children in the van at the same time; the children can still be rehabilitated. However, the soccer moms are a lost cause.

Not everyone that drives a minivan is like this. This only pertains to the ones that I have seen on the road.

Now on to something different. In the last “Ask Bob”, Bob seemed to have a problem with Nebraska and the Cornhuskers. Sorry if this offended anyone.

But everything he said was true.

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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