“Well, hello there poopy man!” said the little person.
It was the same kid from the store, but this time his head seemed to be a little crooked, almost like someone had karate chopped him in the neck.
He lifted up the visor of the welding mask he was wearing and smiled at me.
When he saw my look and smelled my smell, he quickly lowered the visor.
“You can’t go to HR. You smell!”
“Well, it’s really important….I think,” I said as I tried to adjust the sticky seat of my pants without him noticing.
“You also damaged me. You can go no further!”
“You know what they say. You can’t rape a female spotted hyena.”
As his little mind tried to figure out what this meant, I headbutted his lower legs and when he bent over in pain I reverse drop-downed a double-thrusted pinky-edged semi-sumo belly bomb to his visor covered head.
He flew backwards into a display of Quisp cereal, through the wall and crashed through a window that just happened to be there.
I then calmly walked over to the occupied desk and waited until the woman on the phone finished her conversation with someone about the benefits of triangular cheese slices.
She hung up the phone and looked at me as if I stunk.
“May I help you?” she asked while stuffing a couple of pencils into her nostrils.
Stephen Johnson
https://theweirdcrap.com
The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!
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