My Good Buddy…

So, my good buddy Matthew Perry ran his car into someone’s porch because he was trying to avoid another vehicle. And he wasn’t under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Riiiiight.

I will not mention the fact that he can afford to pay off a cop on his salary. I will not mention that because that would be wrong, and downright offensive. That is something that I try not to be.

Now for Rosie O’ Donnell. Someone asked me why I despise her so.

Well, I’ll tell you.

One night, my wife and I went to a fine local eatery and left our children in the capable hands of a 13 year old baby sitter.

When we got home, we were shocked to find all three of our children sobbing hysterically in a corner of the living room as the baby sitter sat staring blankly at the tv screen with a small rivulet of drool
coming from her mouth.

After months of extensive research, we finally discovered the reason why this happened.

The baby sitter decided the children could stay up a bit late and watch a movie called “Exit to Eden”, which had Rosie in it.

My poor children are now scarred for life after seeing Rosie in lingerie. Thank you, Rosie. My children are now not able to succeed at anything in their life because of you. I only wonder how many more children are screwed up because of you. I hope your talk show fails and you get your head stuck in a vise.

And now she is suing a radio station in the upper northwest because they DARE to use the word “Rosie” before their call letters. Yeah, Rosie, you are the only one allowed to use that word and any variation of that word. You and my palm.

I do not have any new movie reviews today because I have not seen any new ones advertised on the tv.

Sorry.

Darva? Still a skanky whore. I kind of wonder what she was like while working in the hospital with all those patients who were about to die.

Hmmmmm……

Next week: Bring back Deborah Foreman!!!!!!!!!!!?

More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

https://theweirdcrap.com

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