The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Zeep In The City
    by Joshua Blanc
    -Sci-Fi – 3 Pages – Package runner Alpha One-Six, nicknamed `Zeep’ to endear him to Joe Public and his slobbering troglodyte family, had only been distracted for four hundredths of a second. But in that time, he’d somehow managed to collide with a stationary object; unwittingly knocking out his GPS, comm-link, and access to the…
  • In Green, Remembered
    by Christopher Nadeau
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Shit Schmelnoz Says, Part π!
    by Spamrider
    My old friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, who is a space alien from the future of an alternate timeline, has never been married.  In fact, he didn’t even know what marriage was until I explained it to him.  And the reason I had to explain it to him was because he overheard someone using the expression,…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 122!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The bear swiped at Bob who was in mid-twirl and knocked him to the ground. The mauling began as Bob shrieked. “A bear?” he asked between his shrieks as the mauling continued. “Where in the blue fuck did you get a bear?” “LANGUAGE!” shouted the HR lady. “Sorry,” Bob said meekly. “It’s just….a bear?” The…
  • Broken Promises…Part II
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramIf a trashy person talks nice, is it still trash talk? Like I mentioned last week, I like to keep my promises. But that don’t always go so good. This week, I’m seven years old and I’m spending he weekend at my grandma’s house. My grandma was kind of a mean person. But…
  • The Thieves of Time
    by Spamrider
    I know it’s been a few years now since I bitched about the time change but with all the recent rigamarole I figured it’s about time to start bitching again.  I can only lament that I don’t have my dear friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible around this time to chime in on the matter, though I…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • ONE DAY AT THE ACME by Gary Kolb

    So I go into the Acme after my five mile run. I grab a basket because I just want to grab a few things. There is a good football game on ESPN tonight, Florida vs. Georgia, and I just want to pick up some munchies for the game. I’m in this aisle, right, pasta and…

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  • One way to get on TV

    Preface: the types of people in Iloilo City, Philippines are,1)Homebodies2)Gangsters3)Those looking for work4)Those not looking for work5)Scammers6)Hotheads7)Your average drunk trying to make some money and have agood time acting as an English teacher8)And the rich I pretty much fell into category 7 of those types of people in Iloilo City during 2007 and was enjoying…

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  • No Small Thing

    By Tom Shay The ebb and flow of pedestrians made Sascha seasick. Schools of cars passed down the road, staring at the throng. No bird is as free as me, she mused. With ruddy hand she cleared her eyes. In the distance construction continued, but the creation only added to the dead weight pulling on…

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  • The Boy Who Couldn’t Recycle

    -Humor – 1 Page And now the story of Buildrock Mane. Buildrock Mane was a little boy with a long name. He could run really fast. He ran as fast as most people can breathe, or as fast as a fish can swim in a tank of Berrysaurus Rex Kool-Aid. He loved to run. Zipping…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • THE OPRAH, DOUGLAS COUNTY CORRECTIONAL FIASCO – Part III

    It Takes A Thief, the next generation Dear Bob,I sent this letter to Oprah and hope to be appearing on her show soon! But just in case I’m not invited to tell my fantastic story, I’m sending you a copy to publish so the WHOLE WORLD can hear it! Part III,Just when we had all…

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  • Quote of the Day

    “Day by day, however, the machines are gaining ground upon us; day by day we are becoming more subservient to them. The upshot is simply a question of time, but that the time will come when the machines will hold the real supremacy over the world and its inhabitants is what no person of a…

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  • OH HOLY NIGHT

    I didn’t have a Christmas special to write about this year, so I decided to wait until I finished my Christmas and see what comes. But for those who love the pre-Christmas columns here’s one of my favorites: http://www.theweirdcrap.com/commentaries/askbob2005/2005_12_11_bob.html Me and my lady went to my sister’s house on Christmas eve. While I was there…

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  • The Bride v.s. Old F*ck Bastard Part 2

    by Saint Garion Bel As I mentioned in my last post, the Old Fuck Bastard came upstairs, knocked on my front door at about 11PM, and asked if my sister would like to go downstairs with him for a few drinks and some nice music… And as promised, this is what the Bride had to…

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  • Still More Shit Schmelnoz Says

    Schmelnoz said something to me once that I didn’t really understand but I nonetheless found very intriguing. He said that humans are the only known species in the universe who relentlessly pursue amnesia. He also said some other things too but I’ve mostly managed to forget them all.

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