The Janitors Puppies
April 27, 2008I am the janitor at the McShwartz School for mentally ill children. 'Nuff said. Every day I watch kids come in, and they most likely won't come out in the same physical state they went in. That happened to one kid, and when his father,…
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Thousands of Fleeing Japanese
August 26, 20243 Pages A small dark man in a small dark room picked up his pen and wrote: In ancient times, the monsters walked among us, and it was good… Godzilla was in downtown Tokyo for the afternoon. It was something he'd made a habit of…
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Walk in the Front Door
September 15, 20011 Page The perfect juxtaposition. The perfect over use of a word describing something so simple, some so beautifully clichéd, a contrast not of senses, but of conclusions, real and inferred. For Eli, the sign, the neon words burned into the atmosphere around him, "No…
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That Darned Mr. Sockforahead (Part 1)
October 17, 20088 Pages Part 1 of 3: The door of Granny Maureen’s Doll Hospital opened, and out stepped Granny Maureen to see what had been left in the casualty box. She drew a breath of morning air, and let the sun fall on her plump, wrinkled…
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Going bananas
August 24, 2005"I'm afraid, Mr. Smith, that your monkey has cancer," the vet informed me. "Cancer?" I echoed. "Poor CoCo." Poor Coco nothing. Poor me was more like it. The damn baboon was a pain in the ass from the get go. And I'd trained my fair…
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Veraciousness
July 20, 2006By P.S. Gifford As the rain swept night continued to batter against his apartment’s cracked window Evan could not help but chortle to himself at the chapter he had just written. Evan was forty-five years old, divorced, and by day he was an office clerk;…
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The Journey To HR, Part 31!
October 12, 2024“So?” asked the HR lady. “How did he take it?”“Not well. Not well at all,” I replied, gleefully rubbing my palms against my sweaty thighs.Star Child Two zipped around the room, until he too began rubbing his palms gleefully against my sweaty thighs. And then…
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F*ck!F*ck!F*ck!
August 27, 2005By GarionWeelll my fuck truck is on the fritz yet again. Maybe I should have changed the oil in the last year or so, but what the hell. I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that it was going to die, and that I…
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Catch Up e-mail
April 16, 2021(Originally posted on 04/11/2007) I’ve decided to catch up on some e-mail.___________________________________ Dear Saint Garion, Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? Thanks, ~Eric Dear Eric, The answer is simple: It’s because you get to…
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Mars Needs Women
September 21, 2025So you’ve probably heard about the Chick Shit situation by now. We have nobody to write it. Bob has now driven off every woman who was ever associated with this website. Actually I just made that up, because it’s fun to make fun of Bob…
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The Latest Weirdcrap News for the Uninformed!
April 21, 2024Stop by here for the recent additions, announcements, news, and anything else that’s crawling out of my a**, or should I say, the strange and surreal corners of our website. The weird crap never stops…
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What Are We? A Definitive Explanation of TheWeirdcrap.com
February 27, 2024You get a nice library of strange stories and weird fiction that's been accumulating since 2000. You also get access to Short Attention Span Stuff; comics, memes, and jokes. Browse around, read a story or…
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