The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 10!
    by admin
    By Bob SenitramBringing the nonsense to light… That night, Cannibal Hector escaped. A daring escape involving cunning, patience, blood, gore, and the eating of faces. Not really. Actually, he leaned against a wall and that got the whole ball rolling. It was the shoddy construction that went into the temporary prison. It was made-on-the-cheap years…
  • Buried Memories
    by Spamrider
    I had planned something else this week but Bob and Stephen’s recent columns jarred loose an old memory buried in my noggin that I hadn’t thought about in years. It happened not long after I first became a Time Traveller.  I was still pretty green and I was still getting the precision down on my…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 115!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob pointed at me. “You! You I remember,” he said, giving another evil laugh. “Gosh. Really?” I responded, getting a little bit bored with this whole thing. “When I was in kindergarten, I used to chase you home every day. You lived down the street from me. I have no idea how it all got…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 9
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramNon-stop nonsense for your reading pleasure… Previously, Dr. Benson heard about the warden’s deal with the Senator and sent Bob to meet with Dr. Hector. Bob shows up at Hector’s prison, flashes his FBI badge and tells the guards he just spoke with the warden and was asked to follow up. He didn’t…

Memes

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Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Progress

    Dr. Anne Patterson stepped from the ship with reticence. After a three-month journey, they’d finally arrived. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t the beauty that greeted her. Where Earth had so long been covered with smog, filth, and an over-abundance of industry, the planet Aglaia was the complete opposite, and…

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  • This Guy I Know

    There’s this guy I know. He has a job at a computer company called Conspicticon. He name is unimportant. Names mean nothing while he’s at work. For curiosity’s sake, his name is Hal. Sometimes while he’s at work, he just watches his screensaver. He watches the stars or Microsoft logos whooshing closer to him, closer…

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  • The Evils of Drink

    -Humor – 2 Pages – Josh had sat contently near the roaring campfire, examining the dancing flickering flames and the crackling of the firewood and considered the day’s events. Chester his college room mate had urged him to go on this trip. “A few days roughing it in the Canadian woods would do you good”…

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  • A Touch Bitter and Too Clever by Half

    By Kevin Easter There are parts of yourself that you hold back. You have to keep that part inviolate, hidden. It doesn’t matter how much you’re “in love” or how much you “trust” your therapist. That part remains. It’s your soul, your true name, your inner child, and you keep it to yourself. There’s one…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Speaking of Peeing Your Pants…

    In The Future it is illegal to pee your pants. Apparently after they made it illegal to speak out or otherwise demonstrate against The Establishment people started peeing their pants as a form of protest. So they made that illegal too.  In The Future the prisons are full of babies and incontinent old farts.

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  • That Didn’t Go Well

    Well, they WERE intrigued. Had outlined more stuff that would mesh in well and took a red-eye to the next state over for a meeting with the money people. Didn’t realize that jet lag was really a thing, even a couple hundred miles. Went to the meeting quite loopy and was handed a large box…

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  • The complete Shower…

    By P.S.Gifford So I did it. I bloody well pulled it off. I catered my very first bridal shower. After weeks of planning, careful and otherwise, and two hectic days of preparing food, the day is over, and furthermore I am still alive to relay the account… Our invitation stated, “Victorian inspired English tea party,…

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  • Melissa has her second show!!!

    You would think that a couple of pieces of duct tape would solve the problem I had with my first show, but it’s me were talking about duct tape is not good enough to solve my problems!! Sure, the customers weren’t squirted in the face with my breast milk at the second show. This was…

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  • And now its time for the break-down…

    …and that should pretty much answer your question! For those who haven’t read every single “Ask Bob” article written in the last ten years, I’ll explain. A couple of years ago someone asked, “So what’s the real Bob like?” So I spent the last four years giving you a chronicle of everything I did and…

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