The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…
  • White Room
    by Lee Sentes
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Stephen Hawking is a Dick
    by Spamrider
    On June 28, 2009, Stephen Hawking famously threw a party for Time Travellers. The whole shtick was he didn’t put out the invitations until after the party had already ended. Get it? Supposedly, nobody showed up. At least that is the official version that he told everybody. But I am afraid I must beg to…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 114!
    by Stephen Johnson
    After a few minutes of joyous silence…… “Where am I?” Bob asked, wakening up again. “A safe place,” said the HR lady, trying to hide her smile. “Have I been in a coma?” he asked. “Sure. Yes, yes you have,” she replied now not trying to hide her smile. He looked over at me. “Who…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 8
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramI’m Bob Senitram and I like to tell stories… That night in the basement of Hopalong Hank… Hopalong is lowering a basket tied to a rope into a deep hole in his basement… “It takes the food out of the basket…” “I’m not hungry!” Jennifer pushes the basket awyay. “Look mister, if you…
  • Still More Future History
    by Spamrider
    Somewhere deep in the swamps of the malaria-infested jungles of a country whose name I shan’t divulge dwelled the man I had travelled across great distances in both time and space to find. It was Bob’s Grandpa, and I had come to kill him. But that’s another story so here is this week’s Weird Crap.…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Shipmates

     Scott descended the ladder, rung by rung, down into the submarine, a blast of heat hitting him from below.  He walked the narrow passageway, steel-toed boots stepping solidly, weaving and bending to avoid hitting his close shaven head on a maze of pipes.  He had gotten used to keeping an eye out for looming metal,…

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  • Phone Games

    4 Pages The payphone is occupied. Another person, a man, a quirky man, hovers around its perimeter; he closely resembles a jabberwocky. “Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.” Says the man. Though unquestionably a preternatural pariah, the mans behavior…

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  • Sandcastles

    -Strange – 11 Pages – This story begins in the age of myth. It was a time when demons haunted nights, mushrooms housed gnomes, and knights fought dragons. I wasn’t just Anthony, I was Sir Anthony. I had just begun the fourth grade at a new elementary school. My dad drove me over in the…

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  • The Janitors Puppies

    I am the janitor at the McShwartz School for mentally ill children. ‘Nuff said. Every day I watch kids come in, and they most likely won’t come out in the same physical state they went in.  That happened to one kid, and when his father, a military General had heard he was coming out, he…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The complete Shower…

    By P.S.Gifford So I did it. I bloody well pulled it off. I catered my very first bridal shower. After weeks of planning, careful and otherwise, and two hectic days of preparing food, the day is over, and furthermore I am still alive to relay the account… Our invitation stated, “Victorian inspired English tea party,…

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  • Bologna Sandwiches and The Devil’s Mansauce

    My favorite thing to have on a bologna sandwich is salted fresh tomato slices.  I’m talking summertime picked from your garden fresh tomato slices. If those are unavailable my second favorite thing to have on a bologna sandwich is potato chips.  Mustard is also ok sometimes.  Never ketchup though. My favorite things to have on…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 89!

    I found myself back in the HR lady’s office. “Chickens are stupid, dirty, b*st*rds, just like Stephen Johnson!” I blurted out. She looked up from the pile of paperwork on her desk. “What’s that?” she asked. I repeated what I had blurted. “What’s with the extra commas and the asterisks?” she asked. This puzzled me.…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 36!

    “Yes. Yes he does,” I said as I eyed his prone body. I grabbed my handy tape measure and measured him with that same tape measure I just happened to have, from one of the many pockets I also just happened to have. “Yes, definitely taller,” I said. Bob spryly leapt to his feet as…

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  • Now I’m A Fan I Guess?

    “I take a seat, it’s a tight fit…….”. That’s pretty funny. It’s not like Bob CAN’T fit nicely into a cat litter box, no matter its size. See, he’s a tiny man! But that’s not the big thing here. I guess I’m going to have to backtrack on my Taylor Swift thoughts because I recently…

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