The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Notes on Baby-Sitting
    by Nils Erwin
    by Nils Erwin Length: About 6 pages I HAD MY FIRST BABY-SITTING JOB THE OTHER NIGHT. It was tough assignment, 3 kids – 24-hours. The parent was a family friend, Mandy, who seemed to have adopted the absurd notion that I was the man for the job, and moreover, that I should also be paid…
  • Zeep In The City
    by Joshua Blanc
    -Sci-Fi – 3 Pages – Package runner Alpha One-Six, nicknamed `Zeep’ to endear him to Joe Public and his slobbering troglodyte family, had only been distracted for four hundredths of a second. But in that time, he’d somehow managed to collide with a stationary object; unwittingly knocking out his GPS, comm-link, and access to the…
  • In Green, Remembered
    by Christopher Nadeau
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The Way I Remember It
    by Spamrider
    Before everything gets all crazy and nobody knows what’s real and what’s not anymore, this is the way I remember it all happening. George W. Bush was such a stinking rotten President* that America actually elected a Black guy rather than electing another Republican. This absolutely drove all the latent and blatant racists batshit crazy.…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 123!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Us, being the fine human beings we were, decided Bob could tag along. We wrestled him from the wolverine’s onslaught, tossed him into a pet carrier and went on our merry way. “ID?” asked the bouncer as we entered to strip club. After we showed him ours and he had commented me on how young…
  • Broken Promises: Part III, The Final Insult…
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramJust some guy who has no idea what he’s doing…. Back when I was young, I lived by the motto that a man’s word is his bond. Unfortunately, I wasn’t real big on discretion. Turns out, there’s a difference between being a man of your word and being too damn stupid to know…
  • Shit Schmelnoz Says, Part π!
    by Spamrider
    My old friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, who is a space alien from the future of an alternate timeline, has never been married.  In fact, he didn’t even know what marriage was until I explained it to him.  And the reason I had to explain it to him was because he overheard someone using the expression,…

Memes

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Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • And Thanks for the Chicken

    Derik Taylor – 18 Pages – Smelling his armpit, he regrets not taking a shower or at least putting on some deodorant/anti-perspirant. Now he is too close to the door just to turn around and go back upstairs. A minute passes and it becomes crystal that no matter how much cooler he is then this…

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  • Interfacing

    “What the hell are you doing?” I asked him. “Interfacing,” he said. “With your shirt?” “This shirt is a microfiber weave quantum computer,” he replied as he kept tapping imaginary keys on the side of his stomach. “All my garments are computers. So is everything in this room.” I thought about it a minute and…

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  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee

    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…

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  • The Chatbot Chronicles, Part 1: A Lady Named Melvin and a Boy Named Sue

    The following is an actual, unedited “conversation” with an artificial intelligence chat bot.  The bot’s responses have been rendered in bold and italics.] There once were three beautiful ladies. Interesting! Is there anything else you would like to share about these ladies or is there a specific question you have in mind? The youngest lady’s…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Journey To HR, Part 3!

    And there it was! Headquarters! No shiny high-rise here though. Just a one-story building that used to be home to a Build A Mole store. For some reason, the previous tenants thought that since kids liked building bears, they sure as heck would just love building moles. They were quite wrong and our overlords were…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 98!

    We looked at the twitching burlap bag, the exploded body parts and the dead body for a minute or so. “What to do, what to do, what to do,” said the HR lady to nobody in particular. “Toss the body out the window, mop up the body parts and then open the burlap bag?” I…

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  • I Cant Believe The Bullshit Bob Is Trying To Lay On Everyone…

    I can’t believe the bullshit Bob is trying to lay on everyone with his last “Ask Bob” entry (07/31/00). Take it from me, this is the last person you want health tips from. Bob smokes. A lot. We still believe nothing beats a good smoke. But, Bob did not mention anything in his column about…

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  • Do I Prey or Pray…

    Gene asks, “HEY BOB, DOES LIFE EVER LEAVE YOU THUNDERSTRUCK AND DO YOU PRAY OR DO YOU PREY?” Hey Gene, STOP YELLING AT ME! For me life is awesome, but I think it’s because I live the life of a crescent fresh dude and don’t sweat the disappointments. And yes, and yes. I prey on…

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  • Quote of the Day #2

    “It is a mathematical fact that the casting of this pebble from my hand alters the centre of gravity of the universe.” -Thomas Carlyle While technically true, what old Tomboy fails to mention is that at the same time he’s tossing off his little pebbles, there are untold and mindboggling numbers of other events taking…

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