The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Notes on Baby-Sitting
    by Nils Erwin
    by Nils Erwin Length: About 6 pages I HAD MY FIRST BABY-SITTING JOB THE OTHER NIGHT. It was tough assignment, 3 kids – 24-hours. The parent was a family friend, Mandy, who seemed to have adopted the absurd notion that I was the man for the job, and moreover, that I should also be paid…
  • Zeep In The City
    by Joshua Blanc
    -Sci-Fi – 3 Pages – Package runner Alpha One-Six, nicknamed `Zeep’ to endear him to Joe Public and his slobbering troglodyte family, had only been distracted for four hundredths of a second. But in that time, he’d somehow managed to collide with a stationary object; unwittingly knocking out his GPS, comm-link, and access to the…
  • In Green, Remembered
    by Christopher Nadeau
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The Way I Remember It
    by Spamrider
    Before everything gets all crazy and nobody knows what’s real and what’s not anymore, this is the way I remember it all happening. George W. Bush was such a stinking rotten President* that America actually elected a Black guy rather than electing another Republican. This absolutely drove all the latent and blatant racists batshit crazy.…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 123!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Us, being the fine human beings we were, decided Bob could tag along. We wrestled him from the wolverine’s onslaught, tossed him into a pet carrier and went on our merry way. “ID?” asked the bouncer as we entered to strip club. After we showed him ours and he had commented me on how young…
  • Broken Promises: Part III, The Final Insult…
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramJust some guy who has no idea what he’s doing…. Back when I was young, I lived by the motto that a man’s word is his bond. Unfortunately, I wasn’t real big on discretion. Turns out, there’s a difference between being a man of your word and being too damn stupid to know…
  • Shit Schmelnoz Says, Part π!
    by Spamrider
    My old friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, who is a space alien from the future of an alternate timeline, has never been married.  In fact, he didn’t even know what marriage was until I explained it to him.  And the reason I had to explain it to him was because he overheard someone using the expression,…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Five Tiny Dwarves, a Circle, a Cat, and the Girl Who Saw it All

    – Strange – 4 Pages – Part I The little girl found a nice place in the grass and sat down near the stream. The sun was setting and the faint smell of a forest fire filled her nostrils. “A full moon!” she said aloud, smiling at the sky. As she watched the giant, pale…

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  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco

    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…

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  • Going bananas

    “I’m afraid, Mr. Smith, that your monkey has cancer,” the vet informed me. “Cancer?” I echoed. “Poor CoCo.” Poor Coco nothing. Poor me was more like it. The damn baboon was a pain in the ass from the get go. And I’d trained my fair share of animals in the past to know a troublemaker…

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  • RATS, REDNECKS, & RETRIBUTION

    by ROB ROSEN -Strange – 3 Pages – “Think we lost ’em, Cletus?” “Yep, Jeb. Think so. They ain’t never gonna find us up here. Countryside’s too dense and thick.” “Kinda like you, Cletus, huh?” His brother jabbed him in the ribs as they maneuvered their way through the prickly underbrush. “Oh, you’re a funny…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Shrongs

    Bob on Twitter,Or just Ask Bob a question already. Shrongs is a piece of fiction from about four years ago…one of my favorites that was never featured on Alarmingly Strange Stories or www.theweirdcrap.com. Which seems sort of odd in retrospect, since I run both. Hope you like part I of “Shrongs” “So why me?” “Remember…

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  • Tequila: a fine starter drink.

    Ten years ago on this very day I had my very first drink. Tequila: a fine starter drink. I was told that drinking was of the devil, and so was sex. So just after finishing a bottle and hanging from a diving board in a pool between two chicks that liked to kiss each other…

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  • A Quest For An Answer: Part 2

    Stevie Nicks—In Your Dreams MoTW—The Mutant Chronicles So there we were, me shouting “HAYOO!” and the horse and donkey hoovesmaking that clippity-cloppity noise we all know and love as thestagecoach thingy went bounding down the dirt roads as I made no attemptwhatsoever to try and dodge the naked denizens of Omaha. This continued for quite…

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  • Jerome Doesn’t Want To Live There Anymore

    There was another phone call. “Hello?” “Jerome? Again?” “You’ve gotta help me.” “Geez, what now?” “Bob found me after I called you. He took me to his home. Then he put me in his BASEMENT!” “His basement?” “Yeah, you know. The one with the pee hole!” “Oh, wow.” “And now he’s trying to frame me…

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  • Mars Needs Women

    This column by Spamrider was so well done, we thought we’d go ahead and feature it again in hopes that someone responds. -Bob So you’ve probably heard about the Chick Shit situation by now. We have nobody to write it. Bob has now driven off every woman who was ever associated with this website. Actually…

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