The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

  • In Green, Remembered
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…

Columns

  • The Bullshit Machine
    What humanity has created with AI is the ultimate bullshit machine. Everything it creates is bullshit. But creating bullshit is the easy part.  The difference with AI is that it creates bullshit that is ever more and more believable. And we are gobbling it up even as it’s being force-fed to us. We’ve already gobbled…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 119!
    “Probably not,” I said as the torn apart body parts began to move around, connecting with each other until Bob was whole again. “See?” The HR lady sighed. “Look,” she said. “This has gone on long enough. If it was being written in parts here and there for some website that nobody ever visits, we…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 13!
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Hopalong, aka Stephen burst thru the door with a gun pointed at the head of Bob’s trainer from the academy. “Nameless trainer guy, wwwwwwww-what are you doing here?” Bob says, surprised. “You think Benson would trust your sorry ass in this case! He sent me down…
  • Stupid
    People say this is the stupidest timeline and truth be told they aren’t that far off from being correct. But there is at least one even stupider*.  I know because I got stuck in it one time. Now at this point you may be thinking to yourself, “This guy sure gets himself stuck in a…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • Witches of Rascar Pablo: Part I

    Witches of Rascar Pablo: Part IIBy Kristopher LawrenceEdited by Gao Rong Prologue Lucas frantically negotiated the narrow stone walkway leading up to the church. Signs indicative of an all-too-familiar happening were not lost him. Rabid mastiffs on his tail prevented him from turning back. Slowing his upward pace – even slightly – brought them lunging…

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  • This Time I’ve Gone Too Far

    NOTE: The following short was originally posted on the “Ask Bob” column on 12/28/2008, I thought it would fit in nicely here…Bob S. A few days ago I got a nice Christmas card from my families spiritual elder which read like this: This time you’ve gone too far. This time you’ve gone too far. This time…

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  • Work It

    Work It Danny put the exercise video in, took a deep breath, then pushed play on the remote.  In moments Johnny Black was on the screen surrounded by his troupe of girls, all of them ready to sweat to the rhythm of cheesy bebop music. “Are you ready to sweat?,” he said pointing through the…

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  • The Shadow of the Crimson Light

    No, no and no! This is not, I repeat, not from the strains of over-working. Please, doctor, you of all people should see that I am indeed too excited and on the verge on a breakdown, but again I must implore you to believe that under no circumstances have they been resulting from years and…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Journey To HR, Part 110!

    “Where am I?” Bob asked after he was done with the belching, groaning and flatulence. The HR lady walked over to him and looked down. “IN MY OFFICE!” she declared. Bob tried to get up but she pushed him back down with a foot. “Why?” he asked. It must have been the way he asked…

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  • An Angry God

    By Garion Bel My peaceful rest was interrupted rudely on Thursday morning when the Lord, disturbed by the soft knock, knock, fuck knocking on the front door, started barking. It was 5am, and some person, maybe the neighbor, was knocking on my door. Persistently. I told the Lord to hush and rolled over a few…

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  • A Mention Or Bacon Pizza With Gutters And Pink Balls?

    Pat Travers—Retro Rocket MoTW—Fury While farting around on the internet looking for a local Little Caesar’s because I had an urge for 3 1/2 feet of bacon, I visited Metsblog and noticed something very interesting. Someone mentioned “Lunatic Ravings”! Ok, it wasn’t a mention of this blog (or column or waste of space or a…

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  • The woman loves caulk!

    Leave a comment, or ask bob a question.Follow bob on Twitter. I’m just as sick of writing about political stuff, and I know you’re tired of reading it, so I’ll tell you about other stuff. This makes the column an official “blog,” because I’m talking about me and my feelings. Which is a hard cry…

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  • GUILTY PLEASURES

    By P.S.Gifford “Albert, could I have my usual double grey goose martini with three olives please.” “Right away Mr. Griffin, how is the new book going…” Albert spoke as he poured a generously amount of vodka into the glass shaker. “I have just sold the movie rights, so I am thrilled.” Just then a particularly…

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