The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

  • Ziontology
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…

Columns

  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 13!
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Hopalong, aka Stephen burst thru the door with a gun pointed at the head of Bob’s trainer from the academy. “Nameless trainer guy, wwwwwwww-what are you doing here?” Bob says, surprised. “You think Benson would trust your sorry ass in this case! He sent me down…
  • Stupid
    People say this is the stupidest timeline and truth be told they aren’t that far off from being correct. But there is at least one even stupider*.  I know because I got stuck in it one time. Now at this point you may be thinking to yourself, “This guy sure gets himself stuck in a…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 118!
    The HR lady looked down at Bob. “You want what?” she asked. “New feets!” Bob said, pointing at his feetless legs. She mumbled and grumbled as she walked over to her desk and picked up the phone. A few minutes later, a door flew open and a group of uniformed workers strolled in, surrounded Bob,…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 12!
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense…I think… In a peaceful Tennessee home sits 90 year old man, drinking a nice cup of caffeine free tea while flipping thru his high school year book from 19-somthing-or-another. He comes to the picture of one of his friends who has long since passed. “Look at that, dead for…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • Surprise Package

    – Sci-Fi – 1 Page – The crying was to be expected. The girls, after all, were only six years old and, despite their enhanced intelligence and intensive training, were still emotionally immature. And identical siblings often formed unusually strong bonds. In addition to leaving the only environment they had ever known, they would also…

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  • Confessions of a Transylvanian Urologist

    Name’s Romanovsky. Dr. Boris Sedgewick Finklemeyer Codfishpiece Romanovsky IV, to be exact. And for 35 years I was Count Dracula’s urologist. My father was his urologist for 73 years before that, and his father for 68 years before that, and his father’s father for another 57 years before that. Before my great grandfather I don’t…

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  • RATS, REDNECKS, & RETRIBUTION

    by ROB ROSEN -Strange – 3 Pages – “Think we lost ’em, Cletus?” “Yep, Jeb. Think so. They ain’t never gonna find us up here. Countryside’s too dense and thick.” “Kinda like you, Cletus, huh?” His brother jabbed him in the ribs as they maneuvered their way through the prickly underbrush. “Oh, you’re a funny…

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  • Witches of Rascar Pablo: Part III

    Witches of Rascar Pablo: Part IIIBy Kristopher LawrenceEdited by Gao Rong Chapter 10: Katatòn Y en cuanto a los que se encuentranbajo la luna de Kataton,Evadan la exaltación,y tengan cuidado con el quetzlcoatlus. And concerning those who find themselvesbeneath the Katatonian moon,Evade the exaltation,and beware the quetzalcoatlus. ∞ : ∞ @# ijđæ, ĦǮ ∞, ЊҨ…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Journey To HR, Part 105!

    I found myself sitting at a desk. Across from me sat Bob. “Care if I talk? I pee myself a little when I take tests,” said Bob. “Sure,” I replied. “Just don’t move.” Bob stopped fidgeting. “I already had an IQ test when I was tinier than I am now,” he said. “Reaction time is…

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  • Saint Garion Goes to the Bahamas

    Married on Friday the 13th of October my bride and I ventured outside of the U.S. thinking, “Hey that Bahamas place might be a nice place to visit.” Well we were wrong, dreadfully wrong. The place is in a persistent state of decay, and the natives were some of the most aggressive sales people I’ve…

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  • The Mad Dearth of Jerome

    Demons & Wizards—“Touched By the Crimson King” MoTW—“The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra” You’ve just gotta get that movie listed above and check it out. It’s oneof those flicks where you don’t have to just watch it but can kindaparticipate with a lovely little drinking game. Go get your favoritealcoholic beverage (kids too!) and have a…

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  • The Forbidden Time Zone: Part 39

    Cindy woke up with a plan. Get to the house.Grab the passports.Pick up Nancy.Head to the airport. Simple. Clean. Only thing is, nothing is simple and clean when Bob’s involved. Bob groaned, one arm slung over his face. “Uuuuugh. I feel like I got run over by a truck.” “You say that every morning,” Cindy…

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  • The world according to Garp…

    Rather than sharing an interesting or even a moderately interesting story, I’m gonna give you my take on the world. Let’s start with Russia. Putin wants to take control of Ukraine. I say go ahead and let him have it. Since sanctions started, the rubel is half the value of what it was. Now Saudi…

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