The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    by Andy Henion
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…
  • How Roger Hambone Missed His Big Chance
    by Randy Bone
    Roger Hambone despite his last name never learned to hambone. He was hamboneless. But he could eef like nobody’s business. People used to say his name should have been Roger Eef. They called him “Eefin’ Roger Hambone”. When he would eef it sounded like this: Ah ee, ah oh, ah ee, ah oh, [hic], ee,…
  • DABBLING IN THE DEPTHS OF HER SOUL
    by Evgeniya Seizova
    by Evgeniya Seizova Year by year a beautiful young lady was gazing with Her spiritual eyes in her own destruction… Was she a human being anymore? She stared her tired and too dilated pupils once again in the impassable Darkness trying to find a ray of light. So many impossible efforts. They’ve been crushing and…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Time Portal
    by Spamrider
    By the grace of Herman I finally somehow managed to rig up an elementary time portal. I know it doesn’t look like much.  But it’s a start.  And it works. And here’s how it works. (This is going to get complicated, so buckle up and settle in…) That door you see in the picture leads…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 106!
    by Stephen Johnson
    I was in a restaurant. I was asked how many people were in my party. I thought about it for a moment, just knowing I would be the only one in my party but held up two fingers anyway. Henry Winkler walked by. Was it Henry Winkler? I was pretty sure it was. A waiter…
  • The End of the USSA?
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramWriting the nonsense because, if I don’t, who will? Once or twice a year, I like to put my comedy hat on the workbench and write about something that’s been bouncing around in my head. This is one of those times. And before anybody starts sending me spelling corrections, the title was not…
  • A World Without Bologna Hats
    by Spamrider
    I met a woman the other day. She said, “Bologna doesn’t curl up into a bologna hat when you cook it anymore.  Tell me, what has become of this world?” “This can’t be true!” I exclaimed, vexed and flabbergasted. “But it is!” she replied.  “But it is!” I decided to investigate for myself.  I marched…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Fake Tan

    Mary was an attractive girl of nineteen years of age, although she was single and jobless she was never lonely or penniless. Always, Mary had the latest fashionable clothes, no matter what the price. A girl going places or so one was led to believe. You could always find Mary at the weekends down at…

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  • Life After Life

    by Colin Blalock If you died, and after you were already dead someone said, “excuse me sir/ma’am, you’re dead”, what would be the first thing that came to mind that you wish you had done before you died? Me, I wish I had sailed around the world. It sounds far fetched, but I wanted nothing…

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  • Purple Circles

    Last summer my eyes broke.  They would burn in the morning and I’d rub them.   I would look at my eyes in mirrors and see that there were red lines growing all over them.  “Shit,” I thought.  I washed them with water, then alcohol, then peroxide, but the red lines kept growing. After my eyes…

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  • THE UNIVERSALITY OF MAUREEN

    Water gushes down from the showerhead onto me and my troubles are washed away.  They of course accumulate again, as does the dirt during the working day.  But a good shower – nothing beats it – not a good hard hot shower.  Who can go without it and say that they’ve truly lived?  The only…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Bob’s Top Ten, Pretty-Sure to Work, Pick-up Lines

    This week I present pick-up lines thanks to Jason who asks: “Hey Bob, how do I meet women?” Dear Jason: I really don’t know because I’ve been married for 25 years, so I asked the kid. “It’s all online, people don’t go out in public since covid.” My daughter replied. “They use apps to hook…

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  • Merry Christmas you sick son-of-a-bitches!

    If you don’t celebrate Christmas, have a happy HOLIDAY. Or if you’re a pessimist and you find happiness offensive, have a crappy HOLIDAY. Or if you are convinced that this holiday season never happened or if your religion doesn’t have a holiday that fits into the winter festival time period, but you still find yourself…

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  • The 2011 Roadtrip: Part 1

    Devin Townsend Project—Deconstruction MoTW—The Great Texas Dynamite Chase As mentioned and threatened in my last post (three weeks ago?!), it isthat time of the year for me to share with all of our loyal readers themadcap adventures the woman and I had on our annual roadtrip. This year I wanted to take it easy. No…

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  • The Horrible Task

    By P.S. Gifford Jo, with a dazed and manic look in here eyes, held Julian firmly on the bed, which she had covered in a rubber sheet. “I will show you,” she screamed in frustration with tears filling her eyes. Exhaustion was now clearly evident in her every gesture. Julian simply looked at her with a confused look…

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  • Another day in a life…

    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense…just for the hell of it. Another day, another dollar… But all that got interrupted last week when the ol’ lady informed me that we’re heading to St. Louis to see our daughter perform in her first college dance show. The plan was simple: leave early Friday, get settled in,…

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