The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…
  • White Room
    by Lee Sentes
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…
  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    by Andy Henion
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Some Good Words to Know
    by Spamrider
    They say that knowledge is power, but that doesn’t mean it keeps the lights on. Regardless, for this week’s column I have compiled a list of good words to know in today’s political climate, along with their relevant Webster’s definitions. Considering where being smart or telling the truth is liable to get you these days…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 111!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The room was silent as we all thought about what we had just said. “You’ll die,” I said softly. Bob nodded, quite spastically. He reached his logged arms out to me as if he wanted to be hugged. I reached out to him as if I wanted to give him that hug and then pulled…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 5
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Later that day Bob visits Dr. Hector. “Hello, Dr. Hector.” “Special Agent Senitram, how nice to see you. Did you follow the breadcrumbs?” “I found it. Yes.” “And what did you make of my little surprise?” “I thought it was…stupid.” Earlier that day, Bob stood in…
  • The New Devil’s Dictionary
    by Spamrider
    Cat (n):  Man’s best frenemy.

Memes

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Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Bacon Becomes Her

    “Brenda’s a pig!” “Roger! Aren’t you two engaged?” Tim paused mid-sip. “That’s your fiancé you’re talking about.” “I know, I know.” Roger took a swig of his Red Hook ESB and wiped his mouth on his shirtsleeve. “But she is.” “She got one of them cute little corkscrew tails on her ass?” asked Tim, invoking…

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  • The Shadow of the Crimson Light

    No, no and no! This is not, I repeat, not from the strains of over-working. Please, doctor, you of all people should see that I am indeed too excited and on the verge on a breakdown, but again I must implore you to believe that under no circumstances have they been resulting from years and…

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  • Tasteless Joe

    Joseph Mellon appeared like all the other babies in the sandbox. He was cute and cuddly and round and happy; happy eating sand, that is. Oh sure, babies are famous for sticking just about anything in their mouths, but little Joey wasn’t simply tasting the sand, he was eating it as if it were the…

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  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT

    AND THERE WAS LIGHT Strange – 20 Pages – We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Psalms of Katrina

    By special guest writer Saint John (Translation by Saint Garion Bel) [The following is a Psalm of Saint John. Saint John is now homeless but was formerly of the middle class that Bush is trying very hard to wipe out. Due to his poor public education he has been a staunch Republican for most of…

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  • The New Devil’s Dictionary

    Double-down (v):  The act of making yourself into twice the uncompromising idiot you were before.

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  • Dream #9, The Return of Randy

    My planned column is put on hold so I can tell you about the most wonderful dream I had. First a little background. My brother-in-law, Randy, stayed in our basement about a year ago. It’s not an apartment with its own kitchen and bathroom, but it is large and finished, so it makes a nice…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 29!

    “Know what?” I asked as I placed the crazy wig on my bleeding head. “I don’t know?” asked the HR lady. “Is that a question? Do you really not know? A minute ago it seemed that you DID know and now you’re acting like maybe you do know, but there’s also that possibility that you…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 31!

    “So?” asked the HR lady. “How did he take it?” “Not well. Not well at all,” I replied, gleefully rubbing my palms against my sweaty thighs. Star Child Two zipped around the room, until he too began rubbing his palms gleefully against my sweaty thighs. And then he started on my loins. “Aren’t you worried…

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