The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Buried Memories
    by Spamrider
    I had planned something else this week but Bob and Stephen’s recent columns jarred loose an old memory buried in my noggin that I hadn’t thought about in years. It happened not long after I first became a Time Traveller.  I was still pretty green and I was still getting the precision down on my…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 115!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob pointed at me. “You! You I remember,” he said, giving another evil laugh. “Gosh. Really?” I responded, getting a little bit bored with this whole thing. “When I was in kindergarten, I used to chase you home every day. You lived down the street from me. I have no idea how it all got…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 9
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramNon-stop nonsense for your reading pleasure… Previously, Dr. Benson heard about the warden’s deal with the Senator and sent Bob to meet with Dr. Hector. Bob shows up at Hector’s prison, flashes his FBI badge and tells the guards he just spoke with the warden and was asked to follow up. He didn’t…
  • Stephen Hawking is a Dick
    by Spamrider
    On June 28, 2009, Stephen Hawking famously threw a party for Time Travellers. The whole shtick was he didn’t put out the invitations until after the party had already ended. Get it? Supposedly, nobody showed up. At least that is the official version that he told everybody. But I am afraid I must beg to…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • The Adventure of Cascadilla and Perkchip

    Chapter 1 I’m sorry,” said Shantulopukobeebee, “but I am no longer the man you want to marry.”Cascadilla gently placed the half-eaten chicken nugget on the Louis 20th solid silver gold oblong plate. A single tear formed in the corner of her left eye. Don’t you love me anymore?” she managed to belch out.She picked up…

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  • The Do It Yourselfer

    Humor – 4 Pages – “When we finally came to rest, I was spread-eagled over an obese, senile naked lady in a lake of diarrhea..” I’m proud of the fact that I’m self sufficient in the ED. And it irritates the fire out of me to see prima donnas, read surgeons, come into the department…

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  • A Tapping

    -Strange – 2 Pages – A tapping, delicately, on my back. I am sitting up on a table, feeling gentle taps on my back, watching a series of images; myriad tables receding into infinity, like two mirrors facing each other. Farmers milking cows; on each table, a person is sitting up and examined by a…

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  • Seeing a Girl

    I can’t tell you how pleased I was to watch your pageants around the pool last summer. I counted the days of the week by your swimsuits. A charming yellow two-piece on a Friday afternoon. A glossy, seal-black one-piece on a Sunday morning. A navy blue bikini and a white strapless suit alternating on Saturdays,…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • An Announcement of the Highest Magnitude

    Avantasia—The Scarecrow MoTW—Can't Stop The Music I can remember a few years ago when I made the momentous decision tothrow all caution to the wind and announce my candidacy to become thenext prez of the USA. Sadly, I did not receive any votes and my dream was dashed. (Then again,maybe I DID win and it…

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  • Nice Dreams: Part VI

    Disclaimer (sort of…) Seems like this last week, it’s been…Bob loves me this, and I had Bob’s baby that! All the writers of TheWeirdcrap.com seem to be obsessed with me. Well, I’m just glad Stephen continues to hate my guts as he always has.Oh, and for the record…I AM NOT A TIME TRAVELER! Well, actually…

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  • Alcohol = Large Balls

    Blackfoot—“Siogo” MoTW—“Land of the Dead” To celebrate the 4th of July, I decided to go out to the streets andfind out what this holiday means to the people. I asked hundreds ofpeople and compiled the top 5 answers below and, as you shall see, Ifound that the true meaning of Independence Day has obviously beenforgotten.…

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  • My Waterloo…

    As you may recall, I recently got a ticket and decided not to show up claiming executive privilege. You see, I sent a copy of my ticket to Mar-a-Lago addressed to Donald Trump. I figured once he saw it, it would become a top-secret presidential matter and the courts would have to drop it due…

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  • An American Column

    A couple days ago I had to stand in line behind an elderly disabled man who was picking up about a dozen prescriptions but didn’t have the money to pay for all of them, so he had to go through them all and pick out the most important ones he could afford. It was a…

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