The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…
  • White Room
    by Lee Sentes
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…
  • History of a Hot Sauce: The mysterious Origins of Wassabassco
    by R. Andrew Heidel
    by R. Andrew Heidel and William Morton Our recipe, and Kiki’s lineage, begins in Japan during the waning years of the Edo era when the Tokugawa Shogunate commissioned the Sushi Sensei to discover a wasabi hot enough for the emperor himself. After many years on his dangerous quest, the Sushi Sensei discovered a pure strain…
  • River People
    by Andy Henion
    -Strange – 2 Pages – As far as I can tell there are two types of Tennessee river people and they travel in competing packs and consume washed up fish or this ubiquitous leafy vegetation that I with my northern bearings will only later come to know as kudzu. There are the stoop-shouldered people who…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • The Journey To HR, Part 111!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The room was silent as we all thought about what we had just said. “You’ll die,” I said softly. Bob nodded, quite spastically. He reached his logged arms out to me as if he wanted to be hugged. I reached out to him as if I wanted to give him that hug and then pulled…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 5
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, and then some… Later that day Bob visits Dr. Hector. “Hello, Dr. Hector.” “Special Agent Senitram, how nice to see you. Did you follow the breadcrumbs?” “I found it. Yes.” “And what did you make of my little surprise?” “I thought it was…stupid.” Earlier that day, Bob stood in…
  • The New Devil’s Dictionary
    by Spamrider
    Cat (n):  Man’s best frenemy.
  • DO NOT BE ALARMED
    by Spamrider
    DO NOT BE ALARMED There is a seven and 33/42nds dimension beyond that which is known to Science. It is a dimension as vast and timeless as infinity and twice as sexy. It is the middle ground between wakefulness and sleep, between classical and quantum physics, and it lies between the pit of man’s stomach…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • The Return Of Mr. Sockforahead

    Strange – 4 Pages – Daniel stood before the mirror in his rumpled suit. It didn’t fit him as well as it used to – he’d lost some weight. He slicked back his thinning dark hair and straightened his clip-on tie. Today was special; today he was free. More importantly, he was cured. He turned…

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  • A Balloon Animal With Pizza Feet

    I had a headache the size of Mount Rushmore. What made it all the more worser was the fact that my head was smaller than usual that day. I don’t know how it happens-sometimes I fall asleep in front of the open window and the cool winter breeze gradually shrinks my head while I am…

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  • He Who Remembers

    -Strange – 3 Pages – He Who Remembers by Nils Erwin I was once held captive in a horrible dungeon by a large British man with ghastly teeth. He surgically switched my hands, just to see if I was truly ambidextrous, and had a persuasion for cooking rats on his hotplate. He was a terrible…

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  • Space

    Space. I remember when there used to be lots of it, back when there was still enough room to stretch out and to breathe and to run and jump and play. Room enough for people to be alone. But not anymore. That was all before The Catastrophe. Name’s Anus. Hugo Anus, Jr. to be exact.…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Journey To HR, Part 81!

    When I woke up, there was a young lady standing over me. She was covered in many, many adhesive bandages. Quite a lot of different sizes as well. She was dumping something on my head. ‘Senno ecto gammat!’ she said as she continued dumping whatever stuff it was on my head. “What craziness is this?”…

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  • Poor Ralph!

    My poor Ralph has to spend the next 90 days in jail because the stupid judge thought that it would teach him a lesson. I went to court to support Ralph, never expecting to lose him for a few months. I was a bit hungover because I had just got off work and I know…

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  • A Very Special Heartfelt Christmas Message from Yvonne!

    Did you really expect something new on Christmas day? If you did, you really need to get a life. I have better things to be doing then helping others this Christmas Day! Come back next week and maybe I’ll be in a helpful mood. NOW GET LOST! NEXT WEEK: A Very Special New Years Day…

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  • Jerome Doesn’t Want To Live There Anymore

    There was another phone call. “Hello?” “Jerome? Again?” “You’ve gotta help me.” “Geez, what now?” “Bob found me after I called you. He took me to his home. Then he put me in his BASEMENT!” “His basement?” “Yeah, you know. The one with the pee hole!” “Oh, wow.” “And now he’s trying to frame me…

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  • Yet More Words of Advice

    Do not ever let somebody talk your leg off. You’re liable to need that leg you know.

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