The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Zeep In The City
    by Joshua Blanc
    -Sci-Fi – 3 Pages – Package runner Alpha One-Six, nicknamed `Zeep’ to endear him to Joe Public and his slobbering troglodyte family, had only been distracted for four hundredths of a second. But in that time, he’d somehow managed to collide with a stationary object; unwittingly knocking out his GPS, comm-link, and access to the…
  • In Green, Remembered
    by Christopher Nadeau
    I awoke knowing the link had been severed.  Tears stung my cheeks as I yanked the blankets off my body and stumbled out of bed, feeling sick and disoriented.                By the time I made it to the bathroom sink in anticipation of throwing up my late night trip to Taco Bell, the feeling had thankfully…
  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Shit Schmelnoz Says, Part π!
    by Spamrider
    My old friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible, who is a space alien from the future of an alternate timeline, has never been married.  In fact, he didn’t even know what marriage was until I explained it to him.  And the reason I had to explain it to him was because he overheard someone using the expression,…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 122!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The bear swiped at Bob who was in mid-twirl and knocked him to the ground. The mauling began as Bob shrieked. “A bear?” he asked between his shrieks as the mauling continued. “Where in the blue fuck did you get a bear?” “LANGUAGE!” shouted the HR lady. “Sorry,” Bob said meekly. “It’s just….a bear?” The…
  • Broken Promises…Part II
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramIf a trashy person talks nice, is it still trash talk? Like I mentioned last week, I like to keep my promises. But that don’t always go so good. This week, I’m seven years old and I’m spending he weekend at my grandma’s house. My grandma was kind of a mean person. But…
  • The Thieves of Time
    by Spamrider
    I know it’s been a few years now since I bitched about the time change but with all the recent rigamarole I figured it’s about time to start bitching again.  I can only lament that I don’t have my dear friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible around this time to chime in on the matter, though I…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Bacon Becomes Her

    “Brenda’s a pig!” “Roger! Aren’t you two engaged?” Tim paused mid-sip. “That’s your fiancé you’re talking about.” “I know, I know.” Roger took a swig of his Red Hook ESB and wiped his mouth on his shirtsleeve. “But she is.” “She got one of them cute little corkscrew tails on her ass?” asked Tim, invoking…

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  • Kenny The Koala

    by Jon Stephenson 1 Page Kenny the koala lived in a great, big forest with many other koala bears. Every day Kenny would wake up and climb his favorite tree. He would sit in the tree the whole day and eat tasty leaves. One day when Kenny climbed his tree, he noticed that all the…

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  • The Race

         Dale Blake had been in a road race since leaving Pittsburgh. In this type of road race the drivers would start at equal intervals each day, driving as fast as possible to the next location, do the job that needed to be done and then start again the next morning. Dale was the…

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  • The Ruin Man

    byMarri -Strange – 2 Pages Amidst the tourist clutter of Cannery Row in Monterey, hidden behind the plastic and the lights and the packaged consumer filth, always sold, there was a row of ruins. Fenced off, caged, forgotten, crumbling with rust and jagged concrete, they lay half-submerged in the rocky coast of Monterey Bay. As…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • You Can Thank Me!

    I would like everyone to thank me. Because of me, the cast of “Friends” are not getting a million dollars per edpisode. They all realized that I was correct and they have no careers outside of that show. They should thank me for correcting their asinine thinking and you, dear reader, should also thank me…

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  • The advice keeps rolling in!

    Bob on Twitter (he never updates it…but you have to see for yourself)Dear Bob,I am a newlywed who loves her husband very much; however, I am very shy and I have never passed gas in front of him. It just doesn’t seem lady-like. I have never eaten until I am full in his presence; in…

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  • Jacob Nichols-

    Jacob Nichols pulse quickened as he carefully examined the battered face glaring back at him. He squirmed uncomfortably at the undeniably evil features- everything from the tired blood shot eyes, the chipped yellow front teeth, to the three inch scar on the left cheek revealed a life time of wickedness and unimaginable crime. Taking a…

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  • The much awaited EASTER SPECIAL!

    Jim from Wichita, KS asks:I’m an Evangelical Christian of the sacred church of the bleeding heart, and I don’t think this Easter bunny things got anything to do with the Church!  So where did this Easter Bunny thing get started from anyways? Dear Jim: Although it is common belief that the Easter holiday grew from…

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  • The Surgery!!!

    Hi!!! You’ll be happy to know that my latest surgery was a success!!! I had the first ever neck elongation surgery in the world, and soon I’ll be able to take my show on the road!! I wanted to give you a step by step detail of the surgery, but the doctor had to put…

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