The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…
  • White Room
    by Lee Sentes
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Still More Future History
    by Spamrider
    Somewhere deep in the swamps of the malaria-infested jungles of a country whose name I shan’t divulge dwelled the man I had travelled across great distances in both time and space to find. It was Bob’s Grandpa, and I had come to kill him. But that’s another story so here is this week’s Weird Crap.…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 113!
    by Stephen Johnson
    “Me?” I asked in quite the innocent way. “Yes, YOU!” Bob shouted, trying to get to his logged feet. He failed and lay back down. “YOUUUUUUUUU………..” he hissed, and pointed at me again. “Fine,” I said, getting into the game. “MEEEEEEEEEEEEE…………” There were a few chuckles as we delighted in messing with Bob’s brain. “You!…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 7
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense, before you do… “So you’re here to visit Dr. Hector for the third time. Didn’t he make a fool of you twice already? The warden asks. “Fool me twice shame on you. Fool me three times and, and…I won’t get fooled again.” Bob replies. “Yeah sure, you know the…
  • The Last Poodle on Earth
    by Spamrider
    I haven’t wanted to write about this because the wound is still fresh, but unfortunately my Time Portal got destroyed. It was that damn Poodle that I rescued from The Future. Even though I haven’t been writing about it lately I’ve been quite busy with the old Time Portal. Because what I finally realized is…

Memes

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Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • The Absolute Return Of Binkle Bunny – We Really Mean It This Time Matey!

    by A.R.A. Owen A gentle breeze blew down Slag Street, dust billowing in its wake past the front doorstep of the Cummy Todge pub. Ned was just putting his Treomph Bernneville away, and he felt a bitter reflection. It had been just three years since Tiko had married his Herley Dorvidson, and the thought of…

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  • The Manhood Test

    Note from the Editor: The Manhood Test was written back in 2000, before virtual reality was invented. Jonathan looked out of place among the other boys in his crowd. for one thing, he did not wear glasses. Thanks to years of computer use, most children were near sighted by the time they were Jonathan’s age,…

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  • From An Inverted Existence

    2 Pages There was moisture in the air… everything was so unreal. Yet I’ve always felt at home there, somehow, with the familiar feeling of countless ethereal fingertips gently poking me from all around. A yellow haze hung in the air. In most places it was thin and gentle, and the air smelled sweet. As…

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  • REDWING

    Sci-Fi – 19 Pages – An eerie light filled the bay below as the moon hung powerless in the darkened sky. Above on the cliffs alone I waited; I knew they’d be coming soon for I’d seen them before. I’d seen their ugly play unfurl a thousand times, and tonight I would silence them forever.…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • Whole Lotta Poops Goin On…

    Sandy writes:Hi Bob! I have this problem I hope you can help me with. My husband, Steve, has the smelliest poops ever known to man! Sometimes the smell just floats out of the bathroom and makes the whole house small like a smelly gas station bathroom. In the winter time, we can’t open the windows…

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  • Recall/No Recall

    I don’t recall writing a column about Eggeberg Humptydink back in 1967 as stated by Bob. I also do not remember writing that blurb about Kiss in 1974, also stated by Bob. But I do remember writing this in 1981: “This is it. “Music From ‘The Elder’” is the best Kiss album ever. Doesn’t matter…

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  • She’s Having a Baby!!!

    My wife came running out of the bathroom screaming, “We’re having a baby!” “Impossible.” I reply. “What?” She says while wiping the pregnancy stick on her jean leg. “I can’t have babies.” “You mean you’re sterile? That’s impossible, there’s been no one else. There’s never been any reason.” “No, I ain’t sterile. I’m a man!…

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  • Thou Shall Not Worship Those That Wear Bib Overalls

    Paul Gilbert & Freddie Nelson—United States MoTW—This Is Not A Test It's a good thing Bob posts his shit on Sundays since it gives me 5-6days to let the anger die down so I can respond with a clear and mellowconscience. Yes, I'm still locked in the basement since someone has not acceptedBiViD (not TiVO…

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  • A Crime for Humanity

    The other day when my wife and I were walking at the park, when we noticed some children were playing in one of those sports utility vehicles. They were obviously unsupervised, because one was trying to push another through a half open window. Their mother was nowhere to be seen. We approached the vehicle and…

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