The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • Ziontology
    by Mikel Davis
    By Mikel Davis “You slimy sack of fish shit!” Deputy Ploggard slammed his hairy fist down onto the grey metal table which separated the two men. His hand landed with such force that it left a fist-shaped dent in the middle of the table. The noise which followed echoed off…
  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Stupid
    by Spamrider
    People say this is the stupidest timeline and truth be told they aren’t that far off from being correct. But there is at least one even stupider*.  I know because I got stuck in it one time. Now at this point you may be thinking to yourself, “This guy sure gets himself stuck in a…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 118!
    by Stephen Johnson
    The HR lady looked down at Bob. “You want what?” she asked. “New feets!” Bob said, pointing at his feetless legs. She mumbled and grumbled as she walked over to her desk and picked up the phone. A few minutes later, a door flew open and a group of uniformed workers strolled in, surrounded Bob,…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 12!
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramThinking up the nonsense…I think… In a peaceful Tennessee home sits 90 year old man, drinking a nice cup of caffeine free tea while flipping thru his high school year book from 19-somthing-or-another. He comes to the picture of one of his friends who has long since passed. “Look at that, dead for…
  • 1984
    by Spamrider
    I once jumped back to the year 1984 and met myself as a young man. I don’t know why I did it.  I haven’t even done it yet. I just remember this old man coming up to me and asking me for a smoke. “I don’t smoke,” I told him. “That’s ok,” he said.  “Neither…

Memes

Click here for the whole batch!

Comics

Bunch more here!

Random Strange Stories

  • Tracy Tenchins

    Tracy Tenchins by Paul Steven The pedals of the push bike turned slowly as a u-nail spun violently past Sparrow’s left ear.”Come on mooovvveee,” screamed Sparrow pushing down harder on the pedals, his teeth baring like a mad rabid dog. It was no use, the gears were stuck in third. Sparrow could hear the shrills…

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  • A Deal with the Devil

    “Wh…what am I doing here?” John asked as he reached the checkpoint. “Let’s see,” the guard said, leafing through a thick notebook. “Ah, John Sedgewick. Here it is. Says here you cheated on your wife.” “Well, to be fair, she cheated on me first,” John said, in his defense. “Be that as it may, it’s…

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  • Bacon Becomes Her

    “Brenda’s a pig!” “Roger! Aren’t you two engaged?” Tim paused mid-sip. “That’s your fiancé you’re talking about.” “I know, I know.” Roger took a swig of his Red Hook ESB and wiped his mouth on his shirtsleeve. “But she is.” “She got one of them cute little corkscrew tails on her ass?” asked Tim, invoking…

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  • The Manhood Test

    Note from the Editor: The Manhood Test was written back in 2000, before virtual reality was invented. Jonathan looked out of place among the other boys in his crowd. for one thing, he did not wear glasses. Thanks to years of computer use, most children were near sighted by the time they were Jonathan’s age,…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • How To Live…FOREVER!

    Jim-Jim asks:  I wanna live forever.. . BUT HOW? A:  There’s a bunch of theories about living forever. Ponce DeLeon looked for a creek with magic water. Maybe he would have found it if he used a flying rug. Then there’s Tom Robbins. In his book “Jitterbug Perfume” he suggests if you take nice hot bath’s and eat…

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  • Smoke Free AND Another List?

    Queen + Paul Rodgers—“Return of the Champions” MoTW—“Go Tell the Spartans” So I open my big mouth on New Year’s Eve when asked what resolution Imight have and I blurt out that I’m going to quit smoking which causedmuch laughter. The joke is on them though since I never really said WHAT I was going…

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  • Trapped in Bob’s Closet, Part 106

    So it turns out Gary Coleman is a Dimension Lord who can get out of Bob’s closet any time he wants and in fact comes and goes as he pleases. The old Chick Shit chick doesn’t talk much. I think she’s got shellshock from some of the things Bob did to her. I guess they…

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  • Chicken Shit…

    By Bob SenitramThinking through the nonsense so you don’t have to… If you’re one of the three loyal souls who’ve followed Stephen Johnson’s column for the past two years, you may be wondering how his “Journey to HR” saga began. It began with chickens. More specifically, it began when I wrote a charming little tale…

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  • Too Tectonical for my blood

    Adam from Notts England writes:bob i married a lovely lookin lady 17 yrs ago but she as taken on the apperance of a spider monkey now should i live we it or kill it…adam from notts england Dear Adam:Try not to over react. This is exactly what I’ve been saying about North Korea. One minute…

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