The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…
  • White Room
    -Strange – 2 Pages – The room was white. The walls, ceiling and floor were white. The man sitting at the white table was dressed in white. The door opened. A robot entered. “Your Highness, Emperor Napoleon.” The man looked up and nodded imperially at the mirrored-face. “Warden Friend,” he returned sternly. “I hope you…

Columns

  • Stephen Hawking is a Dick
    On June 28, 2009, Stephen Hawking famously threw a party for Time Travellers. The whole shtick was he didn’t put out the invitations until after the party had already ended. Get it? Supposedly, nobody showed up. At least that is the official version that he told everybody. But I am afraid I must beg to…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 114!
    After a few minutes of joyous silence…… “Where am I?” Bob asked, wakening up again. “A safe place,” said the HR lady, trying to hide her smile. “Have I been in a coma?” he asked. “Sure. Yes, yes you have,” she replied now not trying to hide her smile. He looked over at me. “Who…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 8
    By Bob SenitramI’m Bob Senitram and I like to tell stories… That night in the basement of Hopalong Hank… Hopalong is lowering a basket tied to a rope into a deep hole in his basement… “It takes the food out of the basket…” “I’m not hungry!” Jennifer pushes the basket awyay. “Look mister, if you…
  • Still More Future History
    Somewhere deep in the swamps of the malaria-infested jungles of a country whose name I shan’t divulge dwelled the man I had travelled across great distances in both time and space to find. It was Bob’s Grandpa, and I had come to kill him. But that’s another story so here is this week’s Weird Crap.…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • Duzzies

    Duzzies by P.S. Gifford -Sci-Fi – 1 Page – The prompt was Starlight- and I was thirty nine. It is short and admittedly clumsy- I found it on line- but aspects of it I do appreciate. I admit forgetting all about it. Felt I owed it one more airing. Perhaps, just perhaps I say, it…

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  • The Chatbot Chronicles, Part 1: A Lady Named Melvin and a Boy Named Sue

    The following is an actual, unedited “conversation” with an artificial intelligence chat bot.  The bot’s responses have been rendered in bold and italics.] There once were three beautiful ladies. Interesting! Is there anything else you would like to share about these ladies or is there a specific question you have in mind? The youngest lady’s…

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  • Little Affection

    by Andrew Nellis In the box are the few pathetic remnants of her childhood. School year-books, some cheap junk jewelry, all the detritus left behind on the road to adulthood. And her diaries. She has not looked in the box…

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  • Paranormal Story

    -Strange – 4 Pages – This concerns one night some considerable time ago and is a true story. Locations are accurate, only my name is true, the others have been changed for protective purposes. I was driving home after a night out with my friends. I was 17 then, I had just passed my driving…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • An Update

    Just to update you on my birthday week menu, everything worked out until Friday. I didn’t have what I listed, had Subway instead as well as Cheez-Its. Saturday none of those frozen things. Now you’re up to date! Date what? I DON’T KNOW!

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  • Nothing to See Here!

    Note from the Editor (Bob S.) Sorry folks, nothing to see here! We don’t have a new columnist yet. Or rather, we do, we just haven’t seen a single word from her. So, technically, we got nuthin’. It’s someone Stephen knows. So, naturally, I’m on high alert. Stephen’s “recommendations” tend to fall somewhere between mild…

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  • The True Meaning of Independence Day

    Before I get into the true meaning of Independence Day, I would like to issue an apology to John Rocker. Before Thursday’s Mets vs. Braves game, Mr. Rocker read a statement that he had prepared earlier that morning. In that statement, he apologized and wished that it could be put behind him so that he…

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  • Dating advice!

    Susan writes: Hey bob, I got a date with a guy I kinda like and want to look nice. My roommate Candy invited me to pick through her clothes, because she goes out a lot. I like Candy, but she kinda dresses like a whore. My dilemma, I wanna look nice but I don’t want…

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  • Maybe Why Nobody Wants To Talk To Us

    Our distrust of each other drives us to continually create bigger and better (aka more deadly) weaponry, which we have now begun expanding into space. Now imagine an advanced sentient life form observing our planet and seeing the insane measures that we have allowed ourselves to drive ourselves to. How is a lifeform that cannot…

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