The Weird Crap is a weekly publication featuring Alarmingly Strange Stories, Bizarre Columns, Memes and Comics!

Strange Stories

Published Bi-Weekly:

Excerpts of the latest fiction submitted by our visitors…

>>>THE LATEST FICTION

  • “The New Job” by Rance Treakle
    by Rance Treakle
    [A Halloween Special from the 2003 Archives] I thought the devil was red and had a tail. I had braced myself for His appearance, His style, even His odor if need be. So what happens when I call Him? He shows up at my door in a three-piece suit, looking like a successful businessman. OK,…
  • THE MICROWAVED CHICKEN HEART
    by Craig Snyder
    The Microwaved Chicken Heart bellowed in triumph as his hideous six-inch fangs tore through the President’s colon. The Chief Executive shrieked in agony; his hopes for a pleasant Wednesday shattered in a few bloody moments. “I don’t believe I’m going to be re-elected,” he whimpered brokenly. The day had dawned so calm and fresh, like…
  • AND THERE WAS LIGHT
    by Chris Harris
    By Chris Harris We as a race, were the essence of eternity. But there was only ever one race, which like time itself was both infinite and finite. All creatures and all time were merely parts of their respective wholes. For as a second might regard a minute as impossible, so does the cell of…
  • Infinite Being — by Dovin Melhee
    by dovinmelhee
    Infinite Being By Dovin Melhee ————— There was an infinite being. Infinite in ability. Infinite in power. Infinite in knowledge. Infinite in intelligence. Infinite in possibility. Infinite and limitless in everything. The being considered itself and was satisfied that it was limitless, perfect and complete. But then the impossible happened. The being thought of something…

Columns

Updated Weekly:

Blogs? Columns? Fiction?
Whatever, here’s some excerpts!

>>>NEW THIS WEEK

  • Buried Memories
    by Spamrider
    I had planned something else this week but Bob and Stephen’s recent columns jarred loose an old memory buried in my noggin that I hadn’t thought about in years. It happened not long after I first became a Time Traveller.  I was still pretty green and I was still getting the precision down on my…
  • The Journey To HR, Part 115!
    by Stephen Johnson
    Bob pointed at me. “You! You I remember,” he said, giving another evil laugh. “Gosh. Really?” I responded, getting a little bit bored with this whole thing. “When I was in kindergarten, I used to chase you home every day. You lived down the street from me. I have no idea how it all got…
  • The Squealing of the Pigs, Part 9
    by Bob Senitram
    By Bob SenitramNon-stop nonsense for your reading pleasure… Previously, Dr. Benson heard about the warden’s deal with the Senator and sent Bob to meet with Dr. Hector. Bob shows up at Hector’s prison, flashes his FBI badge and tells the guards he just spoke with the warden and was asked to follow up. He didn’t…
  • Stephen Hawking is a Dick
    by Spamrider
    On June 28, 2009, Stephen Hawking famously threw a party for Time Travellers. The whole shtick was he didn’t put out the invitations until after the party had already ended. Get it? Supposedly, nobody showed up. At least that is the official version that he told everybody. But I am afraid I must beg to…

Memes

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Comics

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Random Strange Stories

  • Confessions of a Professional Defuser [excerpt]

    Confessions of a Professional Defuser by Randy Bone Thought bombs are carefully designed psychological viruses routinely implanted into our heads from a very young age through the schools and later through the media. The powerful devious minds behind it all call it “inoculation”. Which is ironic you see because what they are inoculating against are…

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  • How to not be a cretin, and give into passion. Also entitled: How to Meet Strange People

    I wandered into the kitchen, and there, was an old man sitting at a large table sorrounded by a full breakfast. He held a banana, like you would a handgun, and followed me around the room with it. BANG! He laughed at his own joke until it became unbearably awkward. I tried earnestly to avoid…

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  • The Legend of Bobbi-Jo

    The Legend of Bobbi-Jo, by Stephen Johnson I was 18 years old when my mother spontaneously combusted. As it happened I was enjoying my morning breakfast of Grape Nuts and Lucky Charms coated with melted butter. No milk was involved. My Mommy had dropped an Eggo on the floor. Obscenities strained my ears as she…

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  • The Evil Lesbians

    Part One: Evil Humor – 2 Pages – In the far distant future, a band of Lesbians landed in their invisible spaceship somewhere in New Jersey.Suddenly, strange cosmic rays penetrated their bodies, turning some of them to evil! Ajax, a pretty lesbian, but not one who had turned to evil, burst into the Captain’s cabin.“Captain,…

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Random Columns From Years Gone By

  • The Journey To HR, Part 90!

    “Oh, man,” I said while looking in the envelope. “Is there a problem?” asked the HR lady. “Well, yes. Yes there is!” I said, and tossed the envelope onto her desk. She looked at the envelope. Then she looked at me. ”Well?” she asked. “It’s my gum! It’s stuck to the paper. It’s UNUSABLE!” I…

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  • The Journey To HR, Part 61!

    The giggles continued. Then they stopped. “So…….” began the HR lady. “Who is this ‘I’ entity?” I asked. “EXACTLY!” she responded. Star Child Two flew around, nodding savagely. “Does it hurt to nod savagely?” I asked myself. “I would think so,” said the HR lady to herself. Star Child Two continued nodding. Life continued on…

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  • The Problem with Girl Problems!

    My girl problems always seem worse during my jail stays!! The last time I was kidnapped and forced to escape and rob banks with my cellmate and her good for nothing friends, and this time I found myself with a nasty, itchy, burning sensation i my groin area which sent me directly to the infirmary.…

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  • My Wound And The Destruction It Could Have Caused

    Priestess—Hello Master MoTW—Zombieland I'm wounded. I hit my forefinger with a hammer today as I was putting together abookshelf and have a nice, huge blood blister. So what should I do? Should I pop it or should I let it fester orwhatever it does? What if I'm at church, accept the body of that guyand,…

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  • I Is Back! Where Did I Go?

    Warrior—The Code Of Life MoTW—Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale Wow, it’s like I’ve been in a coma or something. I mean, over a MONTH since my last post? What the hell is going on? I could come up with a good story, something like being forced into a coma so I could bypass Black Friday…

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