And My Political Views Are……

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

Tygers Of Pan Tang–Ambush

MoTW–The Dictator

So it’s election time again. Yawn.

What’s the big deal? Everyone is so gung ho about THEIR pick, yet they usually hate them in a couple years. Or they’re too stupid to change their vote to someone else from a (gasp) different party since that’s not the ways things are done in their family. Something like that. I think everyone should just vote blindly, just go into the booth and hit random things just for the hell of it. Don’t even bother looking at what you did when you’re done, just let it be a surprise.

I’ve never gotten into politics, could really give a shit about it. I don’t know or care what the difference is between Republicans or Democrats. Seems there is because folks are always talking about it, but I’ve never bothered to do any research whatsoever on why those two parties are different. One’s an elephant and the other’s a donkey, I think. That’s the extent of my knowledge and I’m proud to know that much.

Mother says I should vote, because I “can make a difference”. She also want me to vote because she hates Obama. You talk to her and she’ll gab for hours on end about what he’s done wrong and what he’s going to do wrong in the future. I’ve told her time and time again that I just don’t care, but she continues bringing it up in conversations probably believing she can sway me into voting. Ain’t gonna happen!

It’s annoying to wake up from a long midday nap and find that the answering machine is filled with political messages. Yes, we still have a land line for those wondering. And no, we don’t have rotary phones for those other folks wondering. What happens if all the cellphone towers fall down? How will people speak with each other? From Land line phones! We have it and we also have lots of canned goods in the event the apocalypse comes down on us all. I’ll be king with those canned goods AND land line phone. Ha!

Oops, got distracted. Now, I could say something about the candidate named after a baseball glove and why aliens might be visiting us soon if he’s elected to office, but I won’t because I don’t want to “offend”. Just go to Utah and ask around about aliens and they’ll tell you all about it. That’s all I’m going to say.

So there you go. Elections. Yay. Whatever.

COMING NEXT: Have no clue

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beggining. The idea of writing weekly columns (blogs didn't exist yet) also came from Stephen. So I guess that makes him the creator of the "blog" phenomena.

https://theweirdcrap.com

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