I missed posting last week……
See, what happened was this:
The lady decided she needed to get away from me for awhile so I decided that it would be a great time to get on the roof and trim some of those branches hanging over, well, the roof.
Doesn’t matter that I have an abject fear of heights, I just manned up and climbed up the ladder and started clipping away.
As I’m happily clipping away, I heard a loud crash. I turned around and saw that the ladder was no longer where it originally stood. I gingerly walked over to where it had been and saw it lying on the back porch surrounded by a family of mischievous raccoons.
I asked them to place it back where it was but they really didn’t care about my predicament.
So, for the next three days I lived on the roof, drinking old rainwater from the gutters and sucking on tree branches for nourishment.
The woman did come home the same day that the raccoons knocked over the ladder, but she decided to keep me up there “to teach me a lesson”.
It was the 4th of July when I finally got off the roof and time for the annual neighborhood thin out the herd (TOTH) contest.
Since I was so late to the drawing of weapons, I was left with a sledgehammer. Everyone else had pitchforks and, as every history buff knows, we sure didn’t win our independence by bringing a sledgehammer to a pitchfork fight.
I lost…..badly.
Now we have to move or go to the monthly block parties.
That means talking to people.
We’re moving.
More Lunatic Ravings…
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