The Saga Of The Fallen Tree. Well, Not A Saga.

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

Pat Travers Band—Can Do

MoTW—Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

A few months ago (has it been that long?), I was busy in the basement doing some stuff. Some of you long time readers might guess what that “stuff” is, and you’d be absolutely correct.

What’s interesting is that you can most probably find naked pictures of your favorite celebrity on the internet. Most people should know that, but for the really young or those that don’t know, it’s something to do while whiling away the hours.

Granted, a majority of the pictures are fake, but what do you care. It[‘s your favorite celebrity NAKED! Imagine the hours of fun you can have with that! Something you never imagined you would ever, ever see, and there it is! The power of the internet and Photoshop!

Oh.

Lost track there.

So, there I am, in the basement doing stuff and the woman yell at me to come upstairs and QUICKLY. After making sure the monitor was turned off, I did just that.

She tells me to look out the window and I did this as well. And what greeted my lovely blue eyes? Why, a rather large tree lying in the middle of the road. Around the tree were some neighbors, and I really wanted to get back to my stuff but something compelled me to put on some clothes and join in the outside festivities.

What I didn’t know (being in the basement) was that a windstorm had suddenly sprung up. The neighbor across the street had a tree that was sick, or so said the experts. The experts were going to eventually cut down that tree, but the wind decided to take care of that.

So outside we go, and the tree is lying in the street completely blocking the road. This would not do since people at the end of the cul de sac would be able to get home or leave. This tree just had to be removed.

Someone mentioned that we were lucky that it happened during the late afternoon since nobody had to go to work right then, but I just had to say something:

“I have to leave…….”

“Ok, we’ll just clear enough for now so you can get through”, said our next door neighbor.

“…..tomorrow.” I finished, kind of lamely.

He didn’t find any humor in that. Bummer.

So to be neighborly, I grabbed a couple of our branch cutting tools and started cutting up branches while someone brough a teeny tiny chainsaw and started cutting up the bigger stuff. Soon more folks joined in and then a manly man that lives behind us (he with the outside bar) came over with his big chainsaw and within an hour we had this whole tree cleared away.

I thought that this would get us “in” with our neighbors and we would soon be invited to their parties. The woman felt the same way, but we still wouldn’t have went to any of their parties because we don’t like any of our neighbors except the one who also doesn’t like any of his neighbors, except for us (I think).

But no. There’s still parties, and we’re still not invited.

It doesn’t pay to be neighborly, I guess.

COMING NEXT: Roadtrip 2014!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beggining. The idea of writing weekly columns (blogs didn't exist yet) also came from Stephen. So I guess that makes him the creator of the "blog" phenomena.

https://theweirdcrap.com

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