by Stephen Johnson
Joe Walsh—Analog Man
For some reason I keep slacking off and not delivering as I should.
Believe me (or not) but every week I have the fulled intention to
welcome you into the latest happenings in my life, but something always
seems to happen or come up which makes me forget what I wanted to write.
It’s not like I’m busy or anything. Take last week for instance when I
had time set aside plus a groovy topic to discuss when sleep took over.
I just lay down on the couch, shut my eyes and didn’t wake up until 5
hours later. By then I had forgot what the topic was.
The week before that I was drunk. Didn’t mean to get drunk but the
alcohol was just sitting there and one led to another and the next thing
I knew I was passed out. I can’t even remember THAT topic but it was
probably a doozy.
I’m an incredibly lazy guy. I don’t work and I don’t like going out. I’m
quite happy sitting at home on the computer or watching movies as the
woman works and basically leaves me alone. That’s the way it should be.
The only time I leave the house is to go grocery shopping. On rare
occasions I also go out to pick up deodorant or soap, just so I can
smell nice. Other than that I have no reason to g anywhere since I can
get everything else delivered.
I could have groceries, etc. delivered also, but I’m not THAT lazy.
The woman said that maybe I have writers block or something, but I put
her in her place but good by explaining that I only write about real
things that happen.
By now you’re probably asking yourself “How can this be?” You’ve
probably read everything I’ve written and a lot of it takes place
outside the home, so I’m lying about never leaving home.
Yeah, so you’re right.
So let’s go back to square one. Why does it look like I’m slacking?
Because I’m lazy. Is my life so hectic I can’t take the time to write
something every week? Fuck no. Where am I going with this? Hell if I
I’m sure there’s more questions I can answer but I’m not in the mood.
See, my gameplan this week was to write about that woman in our
neighborhood that walks around with the baby carriage and the shocking
discovery I made about this woman (and no, it wasn’t her ass.)
But look how much I’ve written already. You probably weren’t expecting
anything yet you got something new!
So let’s do this: we’ll save the lady with the baby carriage for next
week. You can now think of what exactly the shocking discovery was and
then be totally blown away when it’s revealed!
COMING NEXT: The lady with the baby carriage and the shocking