I Think This Is An Apology

Lunatic Ravings!
by Stephen Johnson

Joe Walsh—Analog Man

MoTW—Prometheus

For some reason I keep slacking off and not delivering as I should.

Believe me (or not) but every week I have the fulled intention to

welcome you into the latest happenings in my life, but something always

seems to happen or come up which makes me forget what I wanted to write.

It’s not like I’m busy or anything. Take last week for instance when I

had time set aside plus a groovy topic to discuss when sleep took over.

I just lay down on the couch, shut my eyes and didn’t wake up until 5

hours later. By then I had forgot what the topic was.

The week before that I was drunk. Didn’t mean to get drunk but the

alcohol was just sitting there and one led to another and the next thing

I knew I was passed out. I can’t even remember THAT topic but it was

probably a doozy.

I’m an incredibly lazy guy. I don’t work and I don’t like going out. I’m

quite happy sitting at home on the computer or watching movies as the

woman works and basically leaves me alone. That’s the way it should be.

The only time I leave the house is to go grocery shopping. On rare

occasions I also go out to pick up deodorant or soap, just so I can

smell nice. Other than that I have no reason to g anywhere since I can

get everything else delivered.

I could have groceries, etc. delivered also, but I’m not THAT lazy.

The woman said that maybe I have writers block or something, but I put

her in her place but good by explaining that I only write about real

things that happen.

By now you’re probably asking yourself “How can this be?” You’ve

probably read everything I’ve written and a lot of it takes place

outside the home, so I’m lying about never leaving home.

Yeah, so you’re right.

So let’s go back to square one. Why does it look like I’m slacking?

Because I’m lazy. Is my life so hectic I can’t take the time to write

something every week? Fuck no. Where am I going with this? Hell if I

know.

I’m sure there’s more questions I can answer but I’m not in the mood.

See, my gameplan this week was to write about that woman in our

neighborhood that walks around with the baby carriage and the shocking

discovery I made about this woman (and no, it wasn’t her ass.)

But look how much I’ve written already. You probably weren’t expecting

anything yet you got something new!

So let’s do this: we’ll save the lady with the baby carriage for next

week. You can now think of what exactly the shocking discovery was and

then be totally blown away when it’s revealed!

COMING NEXT: The lady with the baby carriage and the shocking

discovery!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beggining. The idea of writing weekly columns (blogs didn't exist yet) also came from Stephen. So I guess that makes him the creator of the "blog" phenomena.

https://theweirdcrap.com

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