The First Test

Before that idea from last week starts churning out the $$$, testing needs to be done.

In comes Jerome!!!!

I just had to give him a call, mention Ho Hos and he immediately came over to the lab (okay, my basement).

He sat on the floor eating chocolaty tubes as I explained what was going to happen. Since I don’t have the actual drug to make him bend over with his arms waving to and fro, I suggested that he could pretend he was drugged out.

I could tell that he was really into this because he started running head first into the wall because, as he said, “The pain will make me bend over. You know, in pain!”

So, I let him do just that.

When he was done, dazed and bent over with his arms just slightly swaying, I pulled off his Rotting Christ t-shirt, slathered his back with mineral oil and garlic paste and attached 50 or so electrodes.

Over to the connected batteries I went, threw the switch and…….

…..nothing happened except for a stench of burnt skin, burnt mineral oil and burnt garlic paste.

I pulled off the electrodes and walked away to do some thinking.

A few hours later he was as normal as he was going to be so I suggested that he take a shower since that’s where all my brilliant ideas happen. He didn’t want to do this until I gave him some more Ho Hos due to his massive fear of water.

My idea worked!

When he was done showering, he came back to the basement and said that he had it all figured out.

We just needed a thin tube lathered with Ho Ho cream which would then be inserted into his butt and “Everything would work out fine!”


More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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