Guest Writers Archive
This is a list of all guest writers all in one big list.
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Select a year for the list of columns.
- 08/22 - The Complete Works of John Henry David III (by Submitted by Guest)John Henry David III was an accomplished American “silly quote writer”. Herein lie his major works and a small detailed biography which follows. “Redispose my underachievement for I am greatly…
- 04/17 - Just for you (by P.S. Gifford)Just for you. Have you ever wanted to murder someone? Please, please, read on for I am deadly serious. So, I shall repreat the simple question- have you ever wanted…
- 04/16 - Saint Patrick’s Day (by Saint Garion)by Saint Garion For Saint Patrick’s Day we all went down to the local Irish pub, where the Lord and Buddha chased some kids around in a circle, playing their…
- 04/16 - Catch Up e-mail (by Saint Garion)(Originally posted on 04/11/2007) I’ve decided to catch up on some e-mail.___________________________________ Dear Saint Garion, Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can…
- 10/16 - Guy Fawkes Day (by P.S. Gifford)Paper Back Writer by P.S. Gifford With Halloween almost upon us, and many a friend sharing their tae on the season, I cannot help but recollect my own childhood memories…
- 08/09 - The Tree of Hope (by P.S. Gifford)Paperback writer by PS Gifford The Tree of Hope.P.S. Gifford I shall never forget that particular Friday afternoon in April 1976. I was just a tender and impressionable eleven years…
- 12/05 - Big Blog (by P.S. Gifford)Paperback writer by P.S. Gifford There’s a blog chain going around called “The Next Big Thing.” The idea is, each writer answers some questions about their next big project… and…
- 04/24 - Dealing with Alzheimer’s (by P.S. Gifford)Paperback writer by P.S. Gifford Alzheimer’s and dementia are cruel things to suffer from and, I must add, being a caregiver you must assume nothing- as everyday offers new challenges.…
- 04/22 - The Image (by P.S. Gifford)Paperback writer by P.S. Gifford The Image Have you ever looked hard at yourself in the mirror? Deep into your own eyes… And simply stared. And kept on staring until…
- 03/11 - My son turns nineteen today (by P.S. Gifford)By Guest Writer Today my son turns nineteen. Hardly seems possible….It is a bittersweet occasion as I know he is happy- but I will not be getting to see him.…
- 01/21 - Rattled (by P.S. Gifford)Guest Writer (unknown) Words are rattling in my soul-That are longing to break free…So here I am a tap-tapping keysin an attempt to make them be! But all that rose…
- 07/18 - PS Gifford’s website (by P.S. Gifford)Paperback writer by PS Gifford The Great Shoe Caper This is an absolutely true account, none of the names or facts have been changed to protect the innocent, because there…
- 02/09 - Hints (by P.S. Gifford)Helpful Hints from Helloise “Thanks for all the feedback on last weeks helpful hint ‘Be kind to your chainsaw and it will be kind to you.’ And Bob in the…
- 10/19 - Entombed (by P.S. Gifford)Entombed It all began with a bet. I would suspect that a lot of bad things begin with a bet. Well, that combined with an evening down at the pub.…
- 09/16 - My website (by P.S. Gifford)Paperback writer by PS Gifford Words have always been my allies. They have comforted, cared and consoled me during sadness, encouraged, enriched and entertained me at my most dire moments,…
- 08/31 - KillerCon Vegas (by P.S. Gifford)KillerCon What an amazing weekend I had. In fact amazing is quite the understatement. I have to confess I did have concerns as the morning prior to my departure I…
- 08/31 - killercon (by P.S. Gifford)KillerCon What an amazing weekend I had. In fact amazing is quite the understatement. I have to confess I did have concerns as the morning prior to my departure I…
- 03/13 - High Tech (by P.S. Gifford)I have just been in a terrible predicament, A tight spot which I am sure will make the strongest stomached of readers wince. A dilemma which I have also considered…
- 09/22 - KillerCon Vegas- my first day (by P.S. Gifford)What an interesting weekend this turned out to be. To be perfectly frank I wasn’t highly motivated about attending- and barely prepared for the trip. Besides I was broke- and…
- 09/11 - click for more info on P.S. Gifford (by P.S. Gifford)Foolproof plan “It’s a bloody foolproof plan!” Charlie Watkins stated matter-of-factly with the usual upbeat optimistic tone to his voice and then promptly, wit one gulp, downed the last of…
- 08/27 - My experience at the Bram Stoker awards (by P.S. Gifford)I did the signing at Dark Delicacies on Thursday night- and whilst everyone else was heading back to the hotel to drink and mingle- I headed home. I live sixty…
- 08/22 - A terrible predicament (by P.S. Gifford)I have just been in a terrible predicament, A tight spot which I am sure will make the strongest stomached of readers wince. A dilemma which I have also considered…
- 07/29 - Check out P.S. Gifford’s website and details of his books (by P.S. Gifford)King for a day. by P.S. Gifford “Be treated like a King,” the flashy brochure said about the off the beacon track boutique hotel in Bordeaux. After the last few…
- 06/30 - P.S. Gifford’s website (by P.S. Gifford)The Button By P. S. Gifford “Press the F7 button on your keypad for a surprise.” The even toned voiced echoed from the computer’s speakers. “What? Who said that?” Andrew…
- 06/18 - Check out my latest book! (by P.S. Gifford)Sid sat at the kitchen table, reading his morning newspaper. He couldn’t help but glance longingly at the empty chair across from him, especially as today was May 12th–his 75th…
- 05/13 - Pre-order my next book for less than 8 dollars! (by P.S. Gifford)The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend — P.S. Gifford The Further Accounts of the Imaginary FriendExpected Release — June 1, 2009Genre: HorrorAuthor: P.S. GiffordRated: R The Imaginary Friend is…
- 05/13 - How to pre-order my latest book for under 8 dollars (by P.S. Gifford)FURTHER ACCOUNTS OF THE IMAGINARY FRIEND to be Released on June 1, 2009 Virtual Tales, a publisher of eBooks, eSerials and trade paperbacks spanning a variety of fiction genres and…
- 05/11 - The Message (by P.S. Gifford)The Message Yesterday was mother’s day. The basic plan was a day of laziness for my wife- who is the hardest working person I have ever known. She awoke yesterday…
- 04/27 - The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend. (by P.S. Gifford)I am thrilled to announce that my latest book is being printed as I type. Its first public outing will be in Nashville at the wildly entertaining HyperiCon- June 5th-7th…
- 04/27 - The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend. (by P.S. Gifford)My latest book “The Further Accounts of the Imaginary Friend,” is being printed as I type. Its first two public outings wqill be at HyperiCon, with the likes of Brian…
- 04/11 - PS Gifford – Curious Accounts of the Imaginary Friend Promo … (by P.S. Gifford)Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us
- 03/26 - click here to discover more about P.S. Gifford- and why you should care. (by P.S. Gifford)ANTICIPATION By P.S. Gifford “Honey come look what I’ve wrote, “P.S. Gifford the horror author spoke. His wife ,Sarah, spoke hinting despair . “Okay my love I shall soon be…
- 03/17 - life is rarely dull when you are a parent to a sixteen year old.. (by P.S. Gifford)Life is rarely dull when you have sixteen year old boy in the house. Now I feel obliged to preface this by saying that Jonathan is typically a very well…
- 03/17 - Teenagers (by P.S. Gifford)Life is rarely dull when you have sixteen year old boy in the house. Now I feel obliged to preface this by saying that Jonathan is typically a very well…
- 02/23 - Entombed (by P.S. Gifford)It all began with a bet. I would suspect that a lot of bad things begin with a bet. Well, that combined with an evening down at the pub. This…
- 02/04 - The maddening world of P.S. Gifford (by P.S. Gifford)The Submission By P.S. Gifford Phil Griffin shook his head sharply from side to side, in abrupt harsh gestures. “One day I will show them!” He abruptly blurted out loud…
- 01/27 - Imagine losing your hand? (by P.S. Gifford)I have just been in a terrible predicament. A tight spot which I am sure will make the strongest stomached of readers wince. A dilemma which I have also considered…
- 01/21 - San Francisco account… (by P.S. Gifford)“The Curious Account of San Francisco.” Part one of a link embedded tale of my experience in San Francisco. On Saturday, bright and early, my wife and I hopped in…
- 12/12 - click here to discover more about P.S. Gifford (by P.S. Gifford)The Dentist Visit By P.S.Gifford. It was on Sunday night when it happened. Whilst I was watching the latest Hallmark movie on CBS, and doing the crying that always accompanies…
- 12/02 - The Bucket (by P.S. Gifford)The Bucket P.S. Gifford As a boy of eight I had very few toys. However, one thing I played with more than any other object was an old metal bucket.…
- 11/14 - The Great Shoe Caper (by P.S. Gifford)The Great Shoe CaperBy P.S. Gifford This is a true account, none of the names or facts have been changed to protect the innocent, as there were no actual innocents…
- 10/31 - A story for Halloween (by P.S. Gifford)The Pumpkin Patch By P.S. GiffordIs everybody sitting comfortably boys and girls? Jolly good then I shall begin… Peter Perry’s young pale blue eyes peeled open in pleasure as he…
- 10/19 - Dark Delicacies Bookshop (by P.S. Gifford)This is where I will be signing my books on October 24th! Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us
- 09/29 - The Beast Within (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford Suddenly he awoke, stretching lazily. He opened his eyes and looked straight into the glare of the fire which was blazing gleefully within the hearth. Momentarily startled…
- 08/27 - Imagination land- and major book signing. (by P.S. Gifford)P.S. Gifford shall be signing his two recent books at Dark Delicacies in Burbank on October 24th- for more onformation please visit http://www.darkdel.com/ and click under signings and events…As you…
- 08/27 - Imagination land- and major book signing. (by P.S. Gifford)P.S. Gifford shall be signing his two recent books at Dark Delicacies in Burbank on October 24th- for more onformation please visit www.dark.del.com and click under signings and events…As you…
- 08/13 - TrueLove- Tasha’s story. (by P.S. Gifford)Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. I made the difficult decision to have my beloved Tasha- a gorgeous German shepherd/ Collie mix to sleep. She had…
- 07/04 - Hypericon blog… (by P.S. Gifford)I can honestly say that HyperiCon was one of the greatest weekends of my life- and it was privelage to be there and be a part of it. It was…
- 06/02 - PS Gifford’s weird website (by P.S. Gifford)Helpful Hints from Helloise Thanks for all the feedback on last months helpful hint ‘Be kind to your chainsaw and it will be kind to you.’ And Bob in the…
- 05/06 - psgifford.com (by P.S. Gifford)Molly It was on the third anniversary of wife’s death that Molly came into my life. I realized, at age thirty-four, that I could not bear being alone anymore- and…
- 04/09 - PS Gifford’s website (by P.S. Gifford)Brick by brick By P.S. Gifford Ed paused from his task and took another long, steady swig from his bottle. “Boy, did I need that,” he said wiping spittle from…
- 04/03 - the weird worlds of P.S. Gifford (by P.S. Gifford)Long Memories Mary Higgins sat there looking at the screwdriver in her hand and then looked at the body of her dying husband at the site of the new house…
- 03/26 - Just for you… (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford Have you ever wanted to murder someone? Please, please, read on I am deadly serious. So, have you ever wanted to murder someone? I don’t mean wished…
- 03/13 - The Razor (by P.S. Gifford)As I feel my stubble on my chin.I stare at my straight-razor,sitting patiently on my sink top.It twinkles menacingly in the neon overhead light.Almost as if trying to communicate with…
- 03/12 - Curious Accounts of the Imaginary Friend – Promo (by P.S. Gifford)Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us
- 02/23 - 30% off Virtual Tales eBooks/eSerials with better delivery (by P.S. Gifford)Virtual Tales is offering for a limited time only the best price you can get anywhere on these titles, what more it is easy to get a free trial of…
- 02/22 - A true tale… (by P.S. Gifford)The Yorkshire Honeymoon By P.S .GiffordOn September 26th 1998 I got married. A date I shall never forget, in fact a date I am terrified to forget if truth be…
- 02/01 - Curious Accounts of the Imaginary Friend – Promo (by P.S. Gifford)Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us
- 02/01 - The Plight- Audio adpation. (by P.S. Gifford)http://www.psgifford.com/Sounds/BSAP_ThePlight.mp3 This was done by the very talented folks over at www.brokensea.com ENJOY! Paul Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us
- 01/17 - The Kiss (by P.S. Gifford)I am sure that everyone remembers that first kiss.I don’t mean the first time your lips touched another’s…But that first genuine kiss, when sparks ignited,and all at once, two souls…
- 12/15 - Curious Accounts of the Imaginary Friend – Promo (by P.S. Gifford)Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us
- 11/30 - P.S. Gifford information (by P.S. Gifford)Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the land- Were people busy shopping, unlike they had planned. Yes they’d intended to go early- not get caught unaware so in…
- 11/21 - Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (by P.S. Gifford)Twas the night before Thanksgiving. P.S. Gifford Twas the night before ThanksgivingAnd all through the farmcame smells of pies baking;pumpkin, apple, and pecan When armed with me gunOut to the…
- 11/08 - You can purchase my book here (by P.S. Gifford)What are you afraid of?” Yes you reading these words quietly to yourself… “What are you afraid of?” Perhaps you have heard of me and are familiar with my style…
- 10/25 - P.S Gifford’s webpage (by P.S. Gifford)Perception By P.S. Gifford The grey walled, windowless, auditorium, full of first year fidgety psychology students, went silent as the lights were dimmed. Professor Henderson, standing behind a podium at…
- 10/12 - Audio Drama to “The Plight” (by P.S. Gifford)Check it out- plus so much more… www.brokensea.com I have a new story up as an audio drama each Thursday until the end of the month. PS Gifford Oh and…
- 10/05 - My day-this just happened. (by P.S. Gifford)Whoever said that history repeats itself was bang on the money. I am sitting here, with a mouthful of gauze after spending three and a half hours at the dentist.…
- 10/01 - PS Gifford’s latest blog (by P.S. Gifford)The Tree of HopeP.S. Gifford I shall never forget that particular Friday afternoon in April1976. I was just a tender and impressionable eleven years old that was my final year…
- 09/18 - two non-poems (by P.S. Gifford)Bad water… By P.S. GiffordThere is surely something wrong with our water supply,for when I awoke this morning my mouth was so dry.My head it did ache, and a felt…
- 09/11 - Listen- if you dare that is…. (by P.S. Gifford)Hear our teaser trailer …. http://www.brokensea.com/BSAP_HalloweenTeaser.mp3 http://www.psgifford.com/news.html Featuring the poem “All Hallows Eve” by PS Gifford Several of my stories will be featured as audio plays. www.psgifford.com Share on Facebook…
- 08/30 - Ivy Inn (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford As soon as we both saw the old wooden hand painted sign proclaiming the hotel’s name as The Ivy Inn we knew it was going to be…
- 08/07 - The Remarkable Journey (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford It was on a chillingly cold and crisp October early morning several years ago that our peculiar tale began. Although perhaps there is a valid argument to…
- 07/24 - Visit my revamped website (by P.S. Gifford)I willingly burn for you… By P.S Gifford God you’re hot.-And hotter today than ever before.You are all I ever think about,You are my passion,My very reason for being…I dream…
- 07/05 - The most Peculiar and Unexpected Revenge of a Mild-mannered Insurance Salesman (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford Paul Stanton was at breaking point. The truth of the matter in fact was that Paul had been close to breaking point now for several years… Years…
- 06/20 - A Second Chance. (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford Mr. Philips looked despondently at his beloved Border terrier as he carried him in his arms from the taxi to the vet’s office door. That morning the inevitable…
- 05/30 - meaninglessness (by P.S. Gifford)The L.C.D clock flashed 1:17. Evan stared at it without a flicker with any indication of emotion evident on his unshaven face.‘I wonder if it is morning or night,’ he…
- 05/16 - P.S Gifford’s webpage (by P.S. Gifford)Murder he wrote. By P.S. Gifford I suppose, in hindsight, that plotting to kill my wife was not a very good notion from the get go. However, it had all…
- 05/10 - Brick by Brick… (by P.S. Gifford)Brick by Brick… By P.S. Gifford Ed paused from his task and took another long, steady swig from his bottle. “Boy, did I need that,” he said wiping spittle from…
- 04/24 - A horror writer so Partial to Worplay. (by P.S. Gifford)A horror writer, so partial to wordplayAlways knew precisely what to say-He was never perplexedAt what words to say nextUpon dying, thanked those carrying him away P.S. Gifford has been…
- 04/06 - Jacob Nichols- (by P.S. Gifford)Jacob Nichols pulse quickened as he carefully examined the battered face glaring back at him. He squirmed uncomfortably at the undeniably evil features- everything from the tired blood shot eyes,…
- 03/30 - REVIEWS! (by P.S. Gifford)http://www.mobipocket.com/en/eBooks/category.asp?CategoryID=74&Name=Horror Wonderful book ! by Faye Sizemore on 29 March 2007 (note 5/5)P.S. Gifford is a writer who will escort you, unknowingly, to an unprecieved destination leaving you in awe…
- 03/22 - My blog this week is a podcast… (by P.S. Gifford)http://www.brokensea.com/BrokenSea/Twinkle_Twinkle.mp3 Share on Facebook Tweet Follow us
- 03/08 - My long awaited return (by Saint Garion)The Lord, unhappy that I have not posted to this blog in such a long time has taken to shitting on my bed. In response I’ve erected a wooden cross…
- 03/06 - And Yet (by Saint Garion)The Lord, unhappy that I have not posted to this blog in such a long time has taken to shitting on my bed. In response I’ve erected a wooden cross…
- 03/05 - Killer tits- (by P.S. Gifford)The Extraordinary Case of the Killer Tits of Derby. By P.S.GiffordHilda Weatherspoon was the sort of woman men ogled in women’s underwearadverts. At twenty-four she was most red blooded chap’s…
- 02/23 - A little bit of dirt never hurt anyone- (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford Wallace Montgomery slumped at his kitchen table dressed in nothing more than grayish white boxer shorts. The girth of his behind overflowed on the wicker chair. In front…
- 02/15 - This weeks blog is a link- (by P.S. Gifford)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmLbD-rqrB0&feature=PlayList&p=C46DD2D0474525C9&index=0 me on you tube. I know many of you must have wondered what I look and sound like- Now is your chance to find out… PSG Share on Facebook…
- 02/05 - THE PACKAGE (by P.S. Gifford)I was startled yesterday by a knock on my front door. And so surely must have been the poor person knocking, as, not used to disturbances, both my large knocks…
- 01/30 - ROBBIE (by P.S. Gifford)Robbie studied his metallic face in the mirror. He looked intently at the cold unemotional face staring back at him. ‘I am such a fine looking robot,’ he thought, ‘surely…
- 01/30 - Robbie (by P.S. Gifford)Robbie studied his metallic face in the mirror. He looked intently at the cold unemotional face staring back at him. ‘I am such a fine looking robot,’ he thought, ‘surely…
- 01/23 - FOOLISH DEEDS (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford David Grainger opened his eyes, and automatically glanced at his wristwatch, all at once a complete panic overwhelms him, as he remembered what a special day it…
- 01/04 - P.S.Gifford’s thoughts. (by P.S. Gifford)I know I have been here before-but not in this physical body.I know that I have experienced this before-but not with my current mind.I know that I have lived this…
- 12/22 - An interview I recently did (by P.S. Gifford)http://www.journeytotheunknown.com/interviews.htm Interview with P.S. Gifford – Horror WriterP.S. Gifford is a horror writer presently residing in Lake Forest CaliforniaVisit his site at www.psgifford.com How old were you when you first…
- 12/16 - The complete Shower… (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford So I did it. I bloody well pulled it off. I catered my very first bridal shower. After weeks of planning, careful and otherwise, and two hectic days…
- 12/12 - The Shower (by P.S. Gifford)So I did it. I bloody well pulled it off. I catered my very first bridal shower. After weeks of planning, careful and otherwise, and two hectic days of preparing…
- 12/12 - Is it Christmas, Goat-cheese-mas, or Birthday? (by P.S. Gifford)I have no fucking clue what the fuck is going on anymore. According to Comedy Central Bush and Cheney are criminals. Why are they all over the news? What have…
- 12/05 - A True Life Tale of Horror from P.S.Gifford (by P.S. Gifford)The Dentist Visit by P.S.Gifford It was on Sunday night when it happened. Whilst I was watching the latest Hallmark movie on CBS, and doing the crying that always accompanies…
- 11/27 - The Hunter (by P.S. Gifford)BY P.S.GIFFORD The thin mist curled grey against the lush green, patch of grass, nestled like a haven almost directly in the heart of Grainger woods. The morning sun rose…
- 11/20 - Peeping Tom (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford He is there again.Hiding behind the garden wall,Scrutinizing my every move,He does not think that I can see him.He thinks he is hidden from my view.But I see…
- 11/09 - The Trial of Mildred Witherspoon (by P.S. Gifford)The Trial Of Mildred Witherspoon By P.S.Gifford The diminutive grey haired lady slowly but surely shuffled her way along the immense corridor and through the impressive mahogany double doors and…
- 10/31 - A Selection of Poems from the Pen of P.S.Gifford (by P.S. Gifford)As I Sit ‘Ere. As I sit ‘ere and try and type-all the words jigging in me ‘ead.I hope the words I finally say, are the words I wanted said……
- 10/31 - Halloween Party (by P.S. Gifford)This past weekend my friends and I celebrated Halloween. There was punch equipped with dry ice and grain alcohol, a fire, a cauldron, an excess of sweet sugary deserts, and…
- 10/20 - I KNEW A MAN (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford I knew a man once full with sorrow, Who only lived for each tomorrow. He made plans he knew he’ll never do, and procrastinated his whole life…
- 10/20 - Saint Garion Goes to the Bahamas (by Saint Garion)Married on Friday the 13th of October my bride and I ventured outside of the U.S. thinking, “Hey that Bahamas place might be a nice place to visit.” Well we…
- 10/12 - Rags (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford I think I might have acquired a cat. Or, I should say far truthfully- I think that a cat may have acquired me. It began two weeks ago,…
- 09/30 - Trevor Steed retuns (by P.S. Gifford)Trevor Steed peered out at the typically grey cloudy English sky promising rain- and sighed. “Another day in paradise,” he said in a voice remarkably similar to a bad impersonation…
- 09/23 - Robbie. (by P.S. Gifford)Robbie. By P.S.Gifford Robbie studied his metallic face in the mirror. He looked intently as the face staring back at him. “I am such a fine looking robot,’ he thought,…
- 09/17 - An Appointment to Remember (by P.S. Gifford)An Appointment to Remember This is the sixth episode from the rather gripping, yet wholly fictitious, absolutely imaginary, completely without any doubt what so ever fabricated, based on characters spawned…
- 09/12 - The Bride v.s. Old F*ck Bastard Part 2 (by Saint Garion)by Saint Garion Bel As I mentioned in my last post, the Old Fuck Bastard came upstairs, knocked on my front door at about 11PM, and asked if my sister…
- 09/09 - HERE KITTY…. (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford Jorge couldn’t sleep. These days he often had trouble sleeping; ever since his wife had passed in a bizarre ballroom dancing accident three months previous. He still quivered…
- 09/02 - A tree of hope-Part two- An extraordinary succession of coincidences (by P.S. Gifford)A tree of hope-Part two- An extraordinary succession of coincidencesBy P.S.Gifford (Written two years ago) I was feeling a little glum yesterday afternoon as I arrived home and sat down…
- 08/28 - Blue Moon (by P.S. Gifford)BY P.S.GIFFORD “Now class, as I am sure most of you know, a blue moon is the name given to a full moon appearing twice in a month. As a…
- 08/24 - Old F*ck Bastard Strikes Again (by Saint Garion)By Saint Garion Bel Over the weekend my bride and I had her brother and my sister over for dinner. We ended up drinking quite a bit that night, and…
- 08/22 - GUILTY PLEASURES (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford “Albert, could I have my usual double grey goose martini with three olives please.” “Right away Mr. Griffin, how is the new book going…” Albert spoke as he…
- 08/12 - Hubert Winthrop’s Morbid Curiosity (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford Hubert, at 57 years of age, hadn’t exactly had an exciting life. In fact, he would be the very first to admit, that his life had been incredibly…
- 08/05 - Eternal Love-Something completely different this week. (by P.S. Gifford)She came to me in my dreams again last night, as she so very often does. She was as graceful and as beautiful as ever… I recall fondly the delicate…
- 07/28 - The Splotch (by P.S. Gifford)Hello? It is just me. You are still in bed you say. Well that is alright, please don’t hang up I need to tell you something I think you are…
- 07/20 - Veraciousness (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford As the rain swept night continued to batter against his apartment’s cracked window Evan could not help but chortle to himself at the chapter he had just…
- 07/10 - The Guerrilla Pissers (by Saint Garion)And Buddha said unto the Lord, “You must un-learn what you have learned.” The Lord was looking upon the Buddha, who pissing on the floor in front of the litter…
- 07/07 - CONFESSION (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford It was Christmas 1976-I can remember it with more resounding clarity than even the events of yesterday the proceedings having been etched so profoundly within my memory…
- 06/30 - The World Cup (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford As the American team marched onto the Coliseum half of the fans in the packed stands, explode into a raving, chanting, hysterical frenzy. The sound is deafening. They…
- 06/25 - Pet the Lord (by Saint Garion)Our internet service has been down for three days now, and I’m starting to take it personal. I mean the Lord’s people fucking pay out the nose for this cable…
- 06/22 - The Eyes (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford I looked intently into my wife’s greenest eyes and they seemed to be as little emeralds dancing in the moonlight. I had always treasured those eyes. They…
- 06/15 - The Pills (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford I saw these pills the t’other day, As I was browsing on line when one of those pop up adverts got throughYou know the ones-We all get bloomin’…
- 06/10 - An Angelic Experience. (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford “So Angel,” Mr. Farnaby questioned as he sucked on his chocolate milkshake, and munched eagerly on his veggie burger. Rex, his dog, was lying at his heels…
- 06/04 - The Yorkshire Honeymoon (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford On September 26th 1998 I got married. A date I shall never forget, in fact adate I am terrified to forget if truth be known. Not that I…
- 06/01 - Summer Plans (by Saint Garion)And so it came to pass that Saint Garion got engaged. The lord was confused but God saw that it was good. No longer will she be called the enchanting…
- 05/26 - Chucks Discount Funerals (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford Charles examined the corpse that had just been freshly delivered to Chuck’s discount funerals. Yep, chuck promised the lowest priced funerals anywhere. As he slogan gleefully boasted…“We will…
- 05/20 - That Special Day (by P.S. Gifford)That Special Day. By P.S. Gifford Have you ever had one of those days that you can remember every little facet? Well please allow me to indulge a little and…
- 05/16 - Puppies! (by Saint Garion)Walking around in the mall is a favorite pastime for those, who like me, have nothing to do with their time. Sometimes I like to go out and people watch,…
- 05/12 - Special Day (by P.S. Gifford)BY P.S.GIFFORD David Grainger opened his eyes, and automatically glanced at his wristwatch, all at once a complete panic overwhelms him, as he remembered what a special day it was.…
- 05/09 - MI3 Sucked (by P.S. Gifford)I’ve just returned from seeing Mission Impossible III, and it sucked. Actually the move would have been great had I cared whether Tom Cruise and his wife lived or died.…
- 05/05 - The Burial (by P.S. Gifford)As I consumed my morning pot of tea and perused my copy of the daily telegraph I suddenly noted the date. Instantly my half awake brain became completely overcome with…
- 05/01 - Quality Time with the Fucking Family (by Saint Garion)Family parties can be difficult. Especially when you’re as fond as saying FUCK as I am… I was sitting too close to the pool where the kiddies were playing and…
- 04/28 - The Daring Exploits of Harry Smith, (by P.S. Gifford)Harry Smith looked at the bridge in front of him, swaying to and fro in the gusty breeze. He had traveled for three days straight and now this bridge was…
- 04/24 - Ancient Rituals (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford It must have been the frantic beating of the tribal drums that awakened her. Getting up and stretching, she once more examined her cage. She was unaware as…
- 04/17 - Buddha Takes on the Internet (by Saint Garion)Dreaming doesn’t count when it’s about something stupid. The Buddha (a.k.a. little fuck bastard) dreams of chewing my CAT-5 cable. And then he fucking does it, severing me from the…
- 04/11 - Uninspired (by Saint Garion)This week’s article is late and I’ll tell you why: I have been completely uninspired. But a few minutes ago… God the Father Spoke In The Head of Saint Garion:…
- 04/08 - Oh those childhood games (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford. Sally Jones simply loved playing games. She was your typical six year old bubbly girl, overflowing with the simple joys of life, and today she was dressed in…
- 04/03 - Small Talk (WWSGBD) (by Saint Garion)Dear Saint Garion, I am tormented daily by others in my office, co-“workers”, with small talk. All this endless chatter about the weather and the Florida Marlins is driving me…
- 03/31 - Ancient Rituals (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford It must have been the frantic beating of the tribal drums that awakened her. Getting up and stretching, she once more examined her cage. She was unaware…
- 03/27 - All-You-Can-Eat-And-Drink (by Saint Garion)By Saint Garion My enchanting paramour and I went to a Jazz and Blues Festival over at the local zoo on Friday night. It was All-You-Can-Eat-And-Drink for 30 bucks…
- 03/24 - The Horrible Task (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford Jo, with a dazed and manic look in here eyes, held Julian firmly on the bed, which she had covered in a rubber sheet. “I will show you,” she…
- 03/19 - Saint Patrick’s Day (by Saint Garion)By Saint Garion For Saint Patrick’s Day we all went down to the local Irish pub, where the Lord and Buddha chased some kids around in a circle, playing…
- 03/17 - Threshold of Reason (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S.Gifford �Bloody brilliant,� I said. �So I I gather that I am now completely screwed. How far gone are these procedures of yours?� �You mean the procedure in…
- 03/10 - The Great Shoe Caper-P.S.Gifford (by P.S. Gifford)This is a true account, none of the names or facts have been changed to protect the innocent, as there were no actual innocents involved� It was five years ago…
- 03/05 - The Buddha Takes A Shit (by Saint Garion)By Garion Bel Walking the Lord and the Buddha yesterday, we ran into… well I’ll get to that. Up until that moment the day had been uncharacteristically pleasant. Breakfast…
- 02/27 - P.S.Gifford-Head Trip (by P.S. Gifford)A day in the life of P.S.Gifford I was just out performing my usual evening walk with my best friend, Chester. Chester being an Airedale mix has an innate…
- 02/26 - Your Child Might Be an Idiot If He Golf’s With a Chainsaw (by Saint Garion)By Garion Bel Outside of Saint Garion’s house the wind blows softly, trees sway this way and that, and a neighbor’s child takes an electric chainsaw out to the…
- 02/22 - Death By Doughnut (by P.S. Gifford)By P.S. Gifford Humphrey Wilson had sat there hungrily ogling the freshly baked glazed doughnuts neatly arranged in the display case in front of him. Behind the counter fresh…
- 02/21 - The Arrival of a New Puppy: The Buddha (by Saint Garion)Few things on this earth are more enjoyable than getting a new puppy dog. But the enjoyment that a new little puppy dog brings can be cut dramatically short when…
- 02/17 - My Old Friend. (by P.S. Gifford)It was in the summer school holidays 1978 when I made a very special friend. Yes, I remember it as distinctly as if it was yesterday. I would have been…
- 02/17 - My Old Friend. (by P.S. Gifford)It was in the summer school holidays 1978 when I made a very special friend. Yes, I remember it as distinctly as if it was yesterday. I would have been…
- 02/12 - Ket Goes to Lunch (by Saint Garion)Ket Darby here,So I was hungry for some Mole sauce… it’s this really good chocolate hot sauce that they put on some Mexican Foods. There are only a couple of…
- 02/10 - A story for Valentines day- I am basically a romantic at my core. (by P.S. Gifford)At long last the fateful day had arrived and Margaret, dressed in her finest Sunday frock, gingerly picked up her Wanga doll and carried him outside into the warmth of…
- 02/08 - God Angry at America? (by Saint Garion)by Saint Garion’s friend Ket Darby So I have heard some people claim that the recient disasters in America were proof that God was mad at the US, and more…
- 02/03 - This is a story my mother told me once-So it has to be true. (by P.S. Gifford)This is a story my mother told me late one rainy night when I was all but a wee little child. She told me that her grandmother had told her…
- 01/31 - Who Gets The Bronze? (by Saint Garion)Ket Darby’s commentary on God’s Silver Medal made a little too much sense, so I asked God about it. God: “Yes and No. Ket is obviously insane.” Saint Garion: “What?”…
- 01/30 - I say (by P.S. Gifford)By PS Gifford Robert opened the brightly painted red front door to his home with his dog panting contently at his feet. “That was good run wasn’t it Chester?” He…
- 01/25 - God’s Silver Medal (by Saint Garion)by Saint Garion’s friend Ket Darby You even noticed that often times Christianity is kind of mean to Judaism? I think I know why. So I read the Bible once…
- 01/18 - The Dark Lord… er… Holy Spirit (by Saint Garion)I went to Tampa last weekend to celebrate the marriage of two friends in an obscure and arcane ritual known only as a “catholic wedding”. The wedding, of course, took…
- 01/10 - Utah Sucks Dick, The Lord Eats a Bone (by Saint Garion)The sad thing about the holidays is that when they are over, you have to recover. I have eaten sooo much goat cheese that I don’t think I’ll ever… So…
- 01/04 - The Lord, The Goat, And The Christmas Tree (by Saint Garion)This was the first Christmas the Lord has really paid attention to what was going on, and well, he’d like to make some changes. And the Lord who is a…
- 12/26 - Divinity Is In All Things (Especially Goat Cheese) (by Saint Garion)For those of you that don’t believe in the divine, you should get into your car right now, travel to your local grocer and purchase some goat cheese. As part…
- 12/19 - War on Christmas? (by Saint Garion)God: “Hey Saint Garion, what the fuck is all this war on Christmas shit about? People down there are just going on and on about this Christmas thing…” Saint Garion:…
- 12/13 - Saint Garion and the Groom (by Saint Garion)I’m late with this week’s article for a number of reasons… Here; I’ll explain. My girlfriend’s birthday, and my best friend’s bachelor party just happened to fall on the same…
- 12/04 - Psalms of Katrina (by Saint Garion)By special guest writer Saint John (Translation by Saint Garion Bel) [The following is a Psalm of Saint John. Saint John is now homeless but was formerly of the middle…
- 11/29 - Attack of the Jerome Clones: The Flaming Column of Piss (by Saint Garion)Continuity problems seldom come up when one deals in the weird, but when the angry guy decides he’s gonna turn on the religious guy… you get an illegal holy war…
- 11/22 - Bird Flu Pandemic! (by Saint Garion)The other day when I was walking the Lord, we came upon a parking lot where a man was hopping from car to car, shitting whole apples. The man’s eyes…
- 11/15 - A Heartwarming Story About A Guy They Call Jerome (by Saint Garion)After popping Jerome’s head off and killing the unknown evils lurking within the mind of the Old Bastard Fuck Neighbor’s cat. I called upon the Lord to go into the…
- 11/04 - Tequila: a fine starter drink. (by Saint Garion)Ten years ago on this very day I had my very first drink. Tequila: a fine starter drink. I was told that drinking was of the devil, and so was…
- 10/31 - Saint Garion Learns to Ride a Motorcycle (by Saint Garion)By Saint Garion Bel The rise of gas prices, the reliability of my old taxi cab, and the sincere lack of any sort of desire in our government to pursue…
- 10/21 - Unforgiving Chili of Indeterminate Gas and Nauseous Nightmares (by Saint Garion)By Saint Garion Bel As I was wondering the coast of Florida last weekend I ran across a group of women drinking tequila… with sprees… and hidden cucumbers… I paused…
- 10/16 - Saint Garion Goes To Saint Augustine (by Saint Garion)Vacation spots in Florida can be annoying because of the bugs, the pervasive heat, and angry locals, but this last trip to Saint Augustine was quite pleasant. We stayed in…
- 10/08 - The Lord vs. The Flies (by Saint Garion)My enchanting paramour and I came home last night to find the Lord in combat with a swarm of flies. He was loosing (as much as a dog can loose…
- 10/01 - Old F*ck Bastard Pig F*ckNieghbor (by Saint Garion)The other night my old fuck bastard neighbor was speaking ill of the Lord. He was going on and on about how much the Lord was out of control and…
- 09/27 - Republican Lemmings (by Saint Garion)Forgive me, but it is time for a rant. Some asshole knocked on my door this morning at 7am (I suspect it was the neighbor), but by the time I…
- 09/17 - Strip Club Bliss (by Saint Garion)by Garion Night 2 in Atlanta and we hadn’t been able to find out where any strip clubs were; needless to say I was feeling very distraught. Far, far away…
- 09/10 - DRINKS FOR EVERYONE = HAPPY (by Saint Garion)By GarionWhile our government and our president was allowing people to suffer and die due to their incompetence, three of my lesbian apostles and I went to a kick ass…
- 09/01 - Suffering of the Masses (by Saint Garion)by Garion, Looks as if everyone’s going to be riding bikes for the foreseeable future. Gas is fucking insanely priced around here. People are killing each other at the pumps;…
- 08/27 - F*ck!F*ck!F*ck! (by Saint Garion)By Garion Weelll my fuck truck is on the fritz yet again. Maybe I should have changed the oil in the last year or so, but what the hell. I’ve…
- 08/20 - Onward Christian Soldiers (by Saint Garion)By GarionIn protest of the new regime of terror that began when the woman next door called animal control on the Lord, I and several dozen other dog owners set…
- 08/12 - He That Runs Without Leash (Soldier of God Part 2) (by Saint Garion)by Garion And the Lord said unto Garion, “Let Animal Control come, all they can do is kill me, I’ll just come back.” “Yes, but as what?” I asked. “A…
- 08/06 - Soldier of God (by Saint Garion)By Garion Today my enchanting paramour found a notice on our door from Animal Control. It contained a threat to take the Lord away from us… Upon reading this, the…
- 07/30 - Back Pain, a Knife, and the Word of God (by Saint Garion)By Garion, It occurred to me that it was time to write my blog so I have fastened myself into a brace and using my arms have hoisted myself into…
- 07/23 - A Week (minus one day) Off (by Saint Garion)by Garion Bel, Until this afternoon I was having a pretty good week. God has kept the fuck out of my head. I went into work on Monday, and took…
- 07/14 - An Angry God (by Saint Garion)By Garion Bel My peaceful rest was interrupted rudely on Thursday morning when the Lord, disturbed by the soft knock, knock, fuck knocking on the front door, started barking. It…
- 07/09 - Butt Itch of the Day (by Saint Garion)Dear Garion, Work has gotten worse. My project ended on July 1 but the extended it to the 8th so that the management (and I use the term in the…
- 07/01 - When You’re Strange (by Saint Garion)By Garion Bel Everyone is at least a little odd nowadays, take Bob and I for example, but recently my girlfriend has run into some folks at the coffee shop…
- 06/24 - Take your church and shove it. (by Saint Garion)By Garion Bel Dear Garion, My wife and I are considering rejoining the church. We don’t really like the people there, and they treat us like they are better than…
- 06/17 - Conversations with… God? (by Saint Garion)by Garion Bel Inspired for reasons unknown God has started speaking through me again, which is really freaking out the fuckers in the grocery store. Garion: “What?” God: “I’m fucking…
- 06/10 - Bastard F*ck Demon of the Storms (by Saint Garion)This weekend was supposed to have been a fucking camping weekend. The plan was that we would go and, well, chill the fuck out. No work, just sun, fishing, drinking,…
- 06/04 - Drinking with Jesus (by Saint Garion)Last night we were invited to a house warming party where I, using my super power, got everyone who doesn’t normally drink, or believes themselves incapable of drinking, completely trashed.…
- 05/27 - Driving Mr. F*ckhead (by Saint Garion)By Garion Bel My girlfriend bought me this great cell phone accessory; an earpiece with a microphone. What-is-it-fucking-called? A Headset. I’ve had some great conversations in my truck lately. People,…
- 05/10 - The Salsa – That Binds (by Saint Garion)I went out last night with some new friends and drank enough alcohol to kill a large tree. This is my account of what happened, as I now remember it.…
- 05/07 - Cockroaches… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel,This morning I discovered several cockroaches in the middle of the kitchen floor. They had toothpicks stuck though their bodies and were suspended off the floor. After looking at…
- 05/01 - Porn Problems (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, You and I have been friends for a few years now… My wife is mad at me for using the computer to look at dirty pictures again. The…
- 04/16 - A Crime for Humanity (by Saint Garion)The other day when my wife and I were walking at the park, when we noticed some children were playing in one of those sports utility vehicles. They were obviously…
- 04/09 - That Darn Computer! (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, I have been living with “Eric” now for almost a year. When we first moved in together, it was great. We talked all the time and his friends…
- 04/02 - Possessed! (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel: You recently scared the crap out of me. You told me to keep an eye on my husband because his behavior indicated that he might be possessed. But…
- 03/26 - Mommy Issues (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, I am 45 and recently my mother moved in with us. Life isn’t fair Bel, we spend all of our extra money to buy food and diapers for…
- 03/12 - Exercise (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, At my wife’s urging, I recently purchased an exercise bike for “us” to use at home. She wanted “us” to get in better shape, and thought that “we”…
- 03/05 - Damn Computer! (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, I have been living with “Eric” now for almost a year. When we first moved in together, it was great. We talked all the time and his friends…
- 02/26 - The New Diet… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, Every since I started on this new diet strange thing have been happening. All the flowers in my garden have dropped their petals, my co-workers all seem to…
- 02/19 - Roadside Cleanup… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel,My company has “volunteered” some of us to do some roadside clean up. You wouldn’t believe the crap people throw from their cars. I’d like to put up a…
- 02/12 - The Reoccurring Dream… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel,I have a reoccurring dream where I am floating in the ocean. I appear to be in some kind of form-fitting steel cage. On the cage is a plate,…
- 02/05 - I Really Do Care! (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, Could you come to Tampa and help me move out of my apartment? My roommate and I are tired of dealing with our psycho neighbors. – Emory Well,…
- 01/29 - Is My Mail Order Bride Worth it? (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, For years I had considered getting a mail-order bride. Recently I took a chance and married a very sweet Chinese woman. Now, we have been very happy but…
- 01/22 - A Cold Medicine that Works! (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel,Recently I came down with a really bad cold. I felt like my brain was trying to crawl out of my nose. A friend of mine recommended Robitussin CF,…
- 01/15 - Sumthin’ to do after Christmas (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, I have been a little bored lately. Mostly because I have been low on cash from the holidays, so I thought I could start stalking people. I imagine…
- 01/08 - After Christmas Advice (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, My neighbor, Bruce, still hasn’t taken down his plastic xmas decorations. Quite frankly, I am sick of it. My wife is ready to kill the bastard. What should…
- 12/26 - A Visit From Jeome! (by Saint Garion)Last week I received a visit from Jerome! In case you forgot, Jerome is Bob and Stephen’s favorite plaything. They enjoy feeding him poison and beating him until he is…
- 12/18 - The Business Trip (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, Recently I went out of town on a business trip. I returned five days later to find that someone had filled the bed with leaves and twigs. I…
- 12/11 - A Dead Pigeon (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, Yesterday my 7-year-old son came home with a dead pigeon on the end of a stick. Apparently, some psycho was selling them at his school. I called the school and…
- 12/04 - Am I a Hippocrate? (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, Am I a Hippocrate? -Larry Dear Larry, The degree of hypocrisy one possesses is equal to the absolute value of the difference between their beliefs and actions. Of…
- 11/27 - Horrible Car Accident (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel:My brother lost his wife five years ago due to a horrible car accident. He would not consider dating until last September. The woman he is now seeing is…
- 11/14 - Questions About Islam (by Saint Garion)Dear Readers, Recently I have received many questions about that “Islam” thing. Being the only religious scholar at here at theweirdcrap.com, I am happy to be of service. Seems to…
- 11/06 - Eric (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel: Last year, I married “Eric,” a wonderful guy. I’m 24. He is 35. And we’re very much in love. Here’s the problem: Neither of us is financially stable…
- 10/29 - The Course of the Nation (by Saint Garion)We Americans face questions about the course of the nation. We must be ready for inconvenience and death. The political will of millions of angry Americans will be felt, and…
- 10/23 - Lesbian Lovers #44 (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel: While my husband and I were watching Lesbian Lovers #44 last night, I noticed my daughter was on the tape! I managed to press stop and before my…
- 10/16 - Small Company (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel:I am an employee at a small company called SmartTec. We are being plagued by a series of accidents. It all started when my new friend Melissa fell off…
- 10/09 - The New War (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, As you know I am having some trouble deciding how America should fight this new war. Any suggestions? -Mr. Bush Dear Mr. Bush, Send aircraft to Afghanistan that…
- 10/02 - Married for 6 Years (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel, My husband and I have been married for 6 years. When we married, we decided we didn’t want any children and I had my tubes tied. Now he…
- 09/19 - Young and Foolish… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel: Two years ago, when I was young and foolish, I went with some friends to a tattoo parlor and had some “artwork” done on my ankle, neck, and…
- 09/11 - The Younger Man… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel: For the past five months, I have been in a deepening friendship with a man who is 5 years younger than I am. (I am divorced, in my…
- 09/04 - Twice Divorced… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel: I am a 35-year-old, twice-divorced male with four wonderful kids. My track record with marriage hasn’t been terrific, so now I am very careful about finding the right…
- 08/28 - My Husband and I… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel: My husband and I have been married for eight years. We both work night shifts and sleep during the day. This works great for our marriage, but it…
- 08/24 - The Christian Right (by Saint Garion)The phrases “Christian Right” and “Religious Right,” are often used as slurs, and rightly so. It’s easy to stereotype Christians as mean-spirited zealots. Most of them are. When scam artists…
- 08/21 - My Friends… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel: I am a 14-year-old freshman in high school. A lot of my friends are sophomores, and they are really nice kids. My parents have told me I am…
- 08/14 - Three Couples For Dinner… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel Garion: Recently, we invited three couples to dinner at 6:00 p.m. We worked hard cleaning the house and preparing a wonderful meal. My problem is this: one of…
- 08/07 - I Moved In With My Girlfriend… (by Saint Garion)Dear Bel,Quite recently I moved in with my girlfriend. Everything has worked out great except my parents speak to me now as if I am going straight to hell. You…
- 07/24 - A Mild Stroke (by Saint Garion)I had a mild stroke five years ago, mostly because I don’t take care of myself. I have diabetes, and refuse to exercise or eat properly. I am able to…
- 07/17 - My New Friend! (by Saint Garion)My new anonymous friend writes:“This is the stupidest site on the web.” Thanks Buddy! Your feedback is very much appreciated. Here is a story just for you. The other day…
- 07/10 - It Is Summer! (by Saint Garion)So it’s summer right now in my part of the world and I am having a pretty good time of it. More people have been keeping my company of late,…
- 06/26 - The Lesbian Psychologist (by Saint Garion)One of my lesbian friends, Leslie, is a psychologist. Not believing in the healing power of faith, she thought I was some sort of mind control flim-flam artist trying to…
- 06/19 - All I Want is Some Coffee… (by Saint Garion)My buddy Greg all the way from Alaska asks,“Why is the media treating President George W. Bush so harshly?”Well Greg, I see that this sort of thing is increasing as…
- 06/05 - Jerome Speaks in Tongues! (by Saint Garion)I was quite perplexed when Jerome called me up, “Lo Steven dice che lei guarda uono si è vestito elegantemente come una donna.” So I went over to his house,…
- 05/29 - Why Do Dogs Eat Shit? (by Saint Garion)Dear Bob Bel,Why do dogs eat shit?JasonWell Jason, that reminds me of the time God turned me into a traffic cone. I was unhappy as a traffic cone and had the unwelcome…
- 05/22 - The Bush Brothers (by Saint Garion)Melissa from the USA writes:Dear Bob, Bel,Why is President Bush giving his brother such a bad time with oil drilling off the coast of Florida? Well Melissa, the answer is obvious.…
- 05/15 - Welcome Bel Garion! (by Saint Garion)Hello everyone, my name is Bel and I am a Saint. Plugging one of my ears usually makes the extra voice go away but recently the voice has just been…
