by Stephen Johnson
MoTW–The Final Terror
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My complaint must have been received by the correct people since there’s a nifty new background here! It screams “2014”, therefore making this column a thing of now instead of a thing of then. This has added an extra giddyup to my step. I am so very pleased. Pleased as punch. Punchy pleased.
Other than that, I have nothing else going on. I did hand out candy last night (it being Halloween), but I did offer a choice to some lucky spawn. To one I offered either an empty can or candy, he took the candy. Another was offered a jar of olives or candy and they took the candy. For the last one, I offered Burger King coupons or candy and this confused them. They couldn’t make up their mind.
I’m sure health had something to do with their indecision. Was it better to eat candy or BK food? The candy would last a day or two, but the coupons would last for at least a month (unless they ate at BK every day, then it would maybe last two weeks). Was saving money a priority or a sugar rush?
Good thing a parental figure was with the child since I would probably still be waiting for an answer.
“Just give him some candy, you fucking idiot,” said the parental figure, not in a particularly nice way.
This I did and then saluted mini-Captain America and off they went, the parental figure looking back at me as if he wanted to start something. Good thing it was raining or I would have made some sort of pithy comment, and then got my ass kicked.
I guess some people don’t appreciate good deals.
Now I have to make up my mind on whether to pick up leaves the second time this week or hope the wind carries them away. Since I’m lazy, I’m just going to use the lawnmower, but is it too cold to use it? I’m sure there’s something about what temperature is ok to use the mower in the owner’s manual, but that takes away the thrill of it all.
It’s in the 30’s so it’s not actually freezing. It’s also sunny which makes it even warmer. Last year, I used the mower until the end of November, but we got rid of it this past Spring and got a new one. Do I want to chance it? Do I want to rake?
How about the leaf blower/sucker? Why not use that?
The leaf blower/sucker is electric so that means I have to take out the extra long extension cord. Then I have to blow the leaves into a pile while it’s very windy. That won’t work. I guess we could get a gas-powered leaf blower/sucker, but that 2 cycle oil crap really confuses me.
No. I don’t want to rake. That sounds like too much work. We do have a couple of those humongous rakes which makes the job “easier”, but it’s still work.
That leaves the mower. I just have to blow the leaves into a pile then run over the pile a couple times and then bag the leaf particles. Too bad I can’t LEGALLY burn leaves in this town, because that would be cool. No, I have to pust them in the proper receptacle and then leave them at the curb.
That’s what I’ll probably do.
COMING NEXT: The story, all based in fact.