The Blood Spurting From My Ear…

Well, everyone should be happy to know that the blood spurting from my ear is now just a slow trickle. I recommend to everyone NOT to stick a pen in their ear, no matter how tempting it might be.

I have heard that there is a possibility that “Survivor 3” might be held in space, on a space station. I have thought this over and have come up with a grand idea to make that show much, much better.

I think that every time a survivor is voted off the space station the loser should be shot outside the airlock. The survivor will have a suit and an oxygen supply, so death would not be immediate. This is where the fun begins.

As soon as they are ejected from the station, a space shuttle takes off from earth. If the space station is 4 hours away from earth, the loser survivor would be given 4 1/2 hours of oxygen. I feel this would give the loser a chance to be a winner.

Wait a minute here. I have a sharp pain in my left arm and in my chest.

I’m okay now. Kind of hard to breathe, but I am okay.

This would be edge of your seat entertainment. Will the loser survivor be rescued by the shuttle? Can the shuttle each them in time? Or will the loser plummet to earth only to burn up on reentry? This would be fascinating television.

Or, if the survivor who was voted off was really annoying, people on earth can vote on whether they should be rescued or not. I’m sure that scientists can design a space suit that melts in a certain amount of time. So, after a 4 hour period, the luckless loser is denied rescue and we can watch as their suit melts and they blow up. That would be interesting.

It is probably doomed to fail, though. Some half wit contestant will not be paying attention and will open the wrong door and everyone will be sucked out of the station into space. Or someone would accidentally hit the wrong button and the station would smack into the moon and blow up. I guess I can only dream.

We recently had a meeting and we decided that we should put naked pictures on this site. However, good ole Bob thinks that is wrong and totally against his puritanical beliefs. I called Bob a dick and he got mad and promised retribution. Yeah, I’m scared. So, unless Bob dies, we won’t have any nudity here. Bob claims if I died he would be very happy. Should be interesting on how this turns out.

COMING NEXT:I finally find peace and goodwill towards my fellow man.

More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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