The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 6

Muse—The Resistance

MoTW—Crank 2: High Voltage

7:25 pm: After declining insurance and signing a waiver stating that
Chuck's would not be responsible for any lost items, limbs or life, we
are allowed to enter the dining area.

7:26 pm: It's not a typical 21st century dining area. It's something
from the dark ages. Animals, naked children and drunks are wandering
around grabbing food of tables and shoving it into their mouths. Yep,
even the animals.

7:28 pm: Step sister has her own table. It's loaded with food. She's
using her meaty hands as shovels and dumping meat and fried cheese
sticks into her mouth. The five children sit nearby and are eating what
I guess is a Kid's Meal. Small portions of meat and fried cheese sticks
are all they get. Oh, and a toy, I think it's a "Debbie Does Dallas"
action figure (complete with 70's pubes).

7:30 pm: Step sister beckons us to an empty table behind her. After an
hour of dodging her flailing arms and blubber, we sit down.

8:31 pm: I order a Diet Pepsi. The woman orders a salad platter.

8:40 pm: Our orders arrive. There's a slight commotion when one of step
sister's children is eaten by a toucan, but everything is back to normal
a few seconds later when the patrons notice they still have uneaten food
in front of them.

8:47 pm: I'm done with my dinner. The woman eats half her salad.
Something to do with the oil they used. It looked suspiciously like
actual motor oil, but what do I know.

8:49 pm: We get the check and tell step sister we were going back to the
hotel since we were tired. She mumbled something about wanting to go
dancing through a mouthful of cheesecake, but we begged off making her
very sad. I didn't care.

8:55 pm: After fighting about the bill, we went ahead and paid the $300.
Step sister not as stupid as her you would think due to her enormity.
What could I do? Refuse? I remembered the hotel employees from earlier
in the day and decided to play it safe.

9:45 pm: Got lost again and pissed off some "Family" members. Think I
have a hit on me now. Thankfully we're back at the hotel where I believe
we'll be safe.

9:48 pm: Shed my clothes, don my bi-plane pajamas, turn on the tv and
fall asleep watching "The Munsters".

COMING NEXT: Writing about this year's roadtrip has caused a lot of
forgotten wounds to open so I'm going to end it here. There's just no
point for me to go on reliving all this pain and suffering so a few sick
fucks can get some shits and giggles. It ain't worth it no more.

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Enjoyed this? Please spread the word :)