The Streak Was Broken, But For a Very Good Reason

Sonata Arctica—Unia

MoTW—Day of the Animals

Guess I lost that streak of posting on consecutive weeks. What a bummer.

There's a good reason why it ended at two weeks.

To me, at least.

And that reason is……………

All the Farmer Jack's are closing down? Can that be it? I was too lazy
because a grocery store was shutting down in this state? Really?

Today was the last day I would ever grace it's premises and the store
was basically empty. Devoid of foodstuff.

Sure, there were a few things left, but nothing I was really looking
for. I did manage to pick up 8 items for less than 17 bucks, but they
weren't items I would normally buy. But I felt compelled to buy
SOMETHING, to show that I care.

Lots of frozen fish and pumpkin pies left for some reason. I thought
fish sticks were a big seller so that was a bit confusing. The pumpkin
pie made sense since it's not really close to Thanksgiving, but they're
frozen and would keep so maybe there'll be a big rush the next in the
next few days before they close their doors forever. Actually, right now
I'm kind of in the mood for pumpkin pie, but they're closed. Tomorrow I
probably won't be in the mood for pie so it's kind of a moot point.

What's really fun to do is to play a videogame, like Tomb Raider:
Anniversary, while the significant other watches and then hand over the
controls to them while you go smoke. When they ask what to do and what
buttons to push, tell them to have fun figuring it out. When you come
back you'll find that Laura had died from a bear attack because your
significant other couldn't figure out how to use the guns and after
awhile all that running around they thought they became proficient in
doesn't mean squat to a fucking bear. Funny stuff.

Imagine this:

Say you just got done working a 16 hour shift and the only thing you
want to do is go home and sleep.
Now imagine that when you get to your car, which is parked on the top
level of the parking garage cause thieves are too lazy to venture to the
top level of anything, you notice that blockades have been set up
surrounding you car from all sides, cutting off any exit for you.

Now imagine that you're putting your bag in the car while saying quite
loud, "You have got to be fucking KIDDING me!" while also trying to
figure out which of these sawhorse blockades to move so you can leave.

Now imagine, as you close the door that a goofy looking guy is walking
towards you with a goofy smile on his face.

Try to imagine what this guy is going to say.

Think real hard about this, because you'll probably be wrong.

Imagine me waiting to tell you what he says until next week.

That'll give me something to write about.

That'll make you want to come back to find out.

It's like a cliffhanger.

WIthout the cliff.

Or the hanger.

COMING NEXT: What oh what did the guy say?

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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