Cresent Fresh Is A Lie!

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Dream Theater–Dream Theater


For the last few weeks, I have been pondering this “Cresent Fresh” thing. I’ve been pondering it so much, I haven’t had time to write anything between my ponderings.

As a test, I visited forums and asked about “Cresent Fresh”. Nobody knew, and most everyone was an asshole when I asked what it really meant.

To prove my point, here are a select few responses I received:


“Read the OP”.

“This has nothing to do with this post!”

“How many times do you have to ask that question?”

“The Mets suck this year and they’ll suck next year because the Wilpon’s don’t want to spend any money.”

“Terry Collins sucks.”

“You suck.”

“He’s just trying to get you to buy something he’s selling. Beware!”

Basically, nobody cared about this “Cresent Fresh” thing or, if they did, they just refused to answer. Now, I understand that a majority of these people that visit and participate in forums are those that live in the basement or garage, most probably in the parent’s house, believe that Doritos and Mountain Dew are a significant nutritional source and don’t have any semblance of a social life.

I should be angry at the responses to my question, but I’m not because I DO NOT LIVE IN MY PARENT’S HOUSE. Therefore, I am better than those forum posting fools.

Am I bitter? Yes, but not angry. Bitter that nobody would take the time to help me with research. So what if I asked this question in a blu-ray deals forum? So what if I asked this question in a Mets forum? There’s no “Cresent Fresh” forum that I’ve come across and I firmly believed that it’s ok to derail a thread just for a little while. Call me a troll, call me a douche, call me whatever. Just remember, I DO NOT LIVE IN MY PARENT’S HOUSE!

After all this work, I now believe this “Cresent Fresh” thing is something completely made up by Bob (real name: Bob) just to get under my skin.  His last post mentioned that he had to work on a laptop which is also made up. His job doesn’t require laptop work. How could he work on a laptop anyway when there were no outside plugs for that electricity thing? Why does an overnight convenience store stocker need a laptop? He just puts stuff on shelves, making sure to move the older stuff to the front.

Now that I think about this more and more, I have come to the conclusion that “Cresent Fresh” is make believe, like vampires that sparkle in the sun. Stupid.

COMING NEXT:  I’m guessing this Cresent Fresh shit won’t die. Yet.

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

2 thoughts on “Cresent Fresh Is A Lie!

  1. Only those who ARE cresent fresh can see the light.

    Who can doubt a philosphy created by sock-puppets?

    COMING NEXT! The long awaited link to my paypal account, so you can help spread the word of the Cresent-Fresh!

  2. Dear "B. Senitram" (or whoever you are):

    LIES, LIES and more LIES!

    Sock puppets DO NOT EXIST!

    But, if you're willing to give me the link to your Paypal account, I will be more than happy to "spread the word".

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