I Get These Thoughts…….

“If there’s a writers’ strike, why do I still have to write something every week?”

“Because you, dear sir, are NOT a writer!”

There were five things I had to do on the internet this morning but I can only remember four of them.

That’s why I hate taking showers. The rare times I do, I always come up with plans of stuff to do. Some of them have really turned out well, like the time I decided to remove the stairs to the basement and replacing them with a greased metal slide.

Going down was no problem and it was FAST.

Going back up was a problem though.

Also not telling the woman or the cats was another problem.

Left the slide up for a few more weeks before I took another shower and decided that I would replace the greased slide with normal stairs made out of marble.

That also caused a problem when, in a drunken state, I fell up the stairs and split my head open. Carpeted stairs like we used to have wouldn’t have done that but the marble looked so pretty.

Guess she didn’t think so since she waited until I left home to get some smokes and milk and had someone come over and replace the marble stairs with the old carpeted wood-type ones.

Then she said maybe I just shouldn’t take showers anymore so I don’t come up with these ideas. That was almost a year ago and this morning I felt that it was time.

Now I don’t know what that fifth thing was.

I do remember thinking that Kansas song should be changed from “wind” to “water”.

Too soon?

More Lunatic Columns

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!


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