New title, Same Idiot

New title, same idiot. Pretty cool.
I was remiss in not mentioning a really nice Deborah Foreman site called “In Worship O’ Deborah Foreman”. We have included a link to that site, plus Deborah’s site as we usually do. Again, visit both and see what you may have missed.

Right now I am listening to Cat Stevens and I am about to write about pornography. Is it okay for me to do that? Or will I be hunted down and shot? A chance I am going to have to take, I guess.

In the good ole state of Nebraska, there is a store called Dr. John’s which is located on Pacific Street in Omaha. This store sells bathing suits and lingerie, and it also has a selection of “marital aids”.

The righteous twats in the “city” are trying their best to shut this store down, because they feel that it will contribute to the moral decay of our society.

However, citizens of Omaha can take a 15 minute car trip across the state line to Iowa and buy the same products. This town, called Council Bluffs, also has casinos. And the town is not decaying, but almost thiriving. Well, as much as an Iowa town can.

So, these righteous folks in Nebraska don’t want “smut” in their fair city, yet it is okay for Nebraskans to go to Iowa and contribute to their economy. Interesting.

Iowa started a state lottery, yet Nebraska did not at first, because they were worried that people would rather spend money on a lottery instead of purchasing red Husker football shit.

A few years after Iowa had the lottery, some of them guvment Nebraskans noticed that Iowa was making money off the lottery!! Amazing!!!

So, Nebraska started their own state lottery.

No casinos in Nebraska, though. Casinos, some Nebraskans believe, brings in the HOOKERS!!!! Oh goodness, life has ended, as we know it, if there are hookers in the city. Look what happened to Nevada.

So, back to the porn story. If you happen to check the store in Iowa, a majority of the vehicles at all times of the day are from Nebraska. So, we are supporting Iowa’s economy by shopping there and maybe even getting gas there, plus a burger since there is a Burger King/McDonalds located right near the store.

The police sent a narc, a 17 year old kid, into Dr. John’s. He showed a fake ID and was allowed entrance into the store. So, the kid buys something and the owner of the store is busted for selling to a minor.

The way I see it, those righteous Nebraskans had no problem sending an underage kid into a store that sells pronography, and now that kid is fucked up for life. Isn’t he at that impressionable age when he sees these videos, and other products, something in his brain is going to snap and he is going to start killing people? Isn’t that the worst age to show something that causes moral decay?

Fine, go ahead and close it down. People will still go to Iowa and buy their stuff, or they can buy it right off the internet. I admit, I have watched 1 porno movie, and that was for research purposes. I didn’t feel morally decayed in any way. Weird. (Bob, by the way, watches nothing but porn. And he isn’t fucked up at all.)

Close the porn shop, and everyone can just go to the millions of bars located in Omaha. Hell, there isn’t much else to really do except drink in that city. Ask anyone from Omaha what they can do for fun in that city and they will most likely say, “We have a really nice zoo.”

Great, that’s just fantastic. Let the people who think that a little shop is going to corrupt their fair city, when it is actually the smell of the ape shit from the zoo.

Hey, they do have a new auditorium that is going to be built. And there was no problem getting that to pass duing the election. I am surprised that it did since some anti-auditorium gentleman claimed the kids did not want a new auditorium. Yeah, right. And Nebraska is the good life.

I guess what I am trying to say is just leave the damn store alone. What problem is it actually causing??

Regina has a problem with support groups. We think she is da bomb. Don’t bother to ask me who she is, cause I really don’t know, but I do know she hates support groups. We have therefore decided to make her a charter member of our club. We have always wanted to form a non-supportive club. If you got a problem, we don’t care, and don’t come to us for support. Thanks, Regina.

I hope that everything I wrote above was really disjointed. Being disjointed pleases me, yet it pisses Bob off. Remember, he’s a porn freak. He’s going to hell. But he smokes. WE CANNOT REITERATE ENOUGH THE PLEASURES OF LIGHTING UP A GOOD CIGARETTE. I think we should round up those people in those commercials and hose them down. They all seem to be needing a good washing. And can they get any more pompous???

Fuck this, I got better stuff to do.

NEXT: We unveil the title of the movie!! And, we attempt to rewrite history, so more kids can gruaduate!! Also, Bob lists his top 10 cigarette brands!! Plus, Bob explains how and why he shot himself in the ass!! All this and so much more!!!!

More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Enjoyed this? Please spread the word :)