Ebay: The Fifth Reich?

Meat Loaf—“Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster is Loose”


Ebay is basically a non-entity to me, it’s something out there that I
occasionally use. It’s not one of those sites that I visit every day
(like www.sweatyasianchickswithhardhats com, which has updates hourly
and proves my point that there’s an infinite amount of ways Asian chicks
can pose with a hardhat all while sweating copious amounts) but every
now and then I use them in case I’m looking for a certain item and doing
a bit of price comparison.

I have never sold an item on Ebay, but I almost went ahead and used them
a couple years ago in order to put some of those fine Vegas crackwhores
up for bid. Sadly, I found that it’s not legal or right to put
crackwhores up for bid on the internet, even though it is legal and
right to put them up for sale as long as they’re in a village setting,
hence Crackwhore Village. ( For those wondering, yes, it’s still going
strong in Vegas and there’s a possibility one might be opened across the
border here that’ll be called something Le Village Des Crackwhore since
it’s Canada and French. It’s just what we need, a village filled with
dirty French crackwhores.)

Anyway, I was doing a favor for someone by getting the cheapest deals on
a couple dvd’s via the internet. I found one at my favorite place,
Amazon.com, but the other was too high and wasn’t a price I wanted to
pay for a Disney movie, even though I would get paid back. I have
principals and I will not break those principals, especially for Disney.

So I checked out Ebay, found that I still despised the bidding process
and then noticed that those with the Buy It Now option offered the item
at a fairly cheap price, but wanted six bucks for s&h. C’mon, it doesn’t
cost that much to ship a fucking dvd! On to the next site which was

(For those that don’t know, half.com is owned by Ebay. It wasn’t at
first, but Ebay got greedy when they found someone that could give them
a run for their money without the bidding shit, so they bought them out,
like they did with Paypal. At least that’s my story, I really have
nothing to back me up on this, but it really works for me.)

I found the item I was looking for on half.com and placed it gently in
my cart and then started the checkout process. However, when I entered
my id and password, I was informed that there was a problem with my
account. So back I went to Ebay, where I entered my id and password and
found that my account had been suspended.

But why?

COMING NEXT: More of this, including actual stuff from Ebay that I’ll be
copying & pasting for your reading pleasure and more uses of “(” and “)”
since they’re fun to use

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!


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