The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 5

Therion—The Miskolc Experience

MoTW—City Of Ember

1:06 pm: My crying is interrupted by a knock on the door. Thinking it's
the authorities and/or some of the remaining hotel management, I run to
a corner of the room and try to hide.

1:07 pm: Someone states that it's housecleaning. I go to the door and
tell her I need no housecleaning, thank you very much. She seems a bit
sad at this.

1:10 pm: Turn on the tv and blankly stare at the screen. Really want a
smoke but don't want to go outside.

1:12 pm: Decide to fuck the rules. Go into the bathroom and light up a
cool, satisfying smoke. Everytime I exhale, I blow the smoke into the
toilet and flush. This will probably work on airplanes, will have to
test out that theory.

1:23pm: Back in bed. Drift off to sleep watching Billy Mays hawk some
product. He's dead but still trying to get me to spend my hard-earned
money on spiffy products. What a guy.

2:50 pm: Wake up freaking out. Forgot I needed to check on the boiler in
the basement.

2:51 pm: As I'm rushing to the door, I hear something that sounds like a
Big Wheel being pedalled furiously down the hallway. I find this a bit
strange and horrifying. I don't know why.

2:53 pm: I get up the nerve to exit the room. I see nobody riding a Big
Wheel, but there's two little girls standing at the end of the hallway
staring at me. I stare back and then get scared and head back into the
room. I jump into bed and pull the covers over my head.

2:54 pm: The scratching on the door starts. The two little bitches I saw
in the hallway want me to come out and play. This really doesn't appeal
to me.

3:15 pm: The scratching finally stops. I discover I need to pee. But
there's something in the bathtub. I just know it. Just a feeling I have.
There's also a feeling of deja vu mixed in. Don't know why.

5:45 pm: I hear something at the door again. I pull the covers really
tight around me. The door opens and the lights come on. I hear "What the
heck?". It's the woman.

5:47 pm; She pulls the covers off me and demands to know why all our
clothes and personal items were arranged in neat rows on the floor. Then
she asked if I had been smoking in the room.

5:50 pm: After blaming housekeeping for the floor arrangement and the
supposed smell of cigarette smoke, I told her about the bitch girls and
the pool room and whatever else I could think of. I told her it would be
a great time to leave and go home. She declined, stating there was much
more shopping to be done.

5:55 pm: To prove her point, the fucktard calls the front desk and
extends our stay. When the call is over she slaps me for thinking that
she's a fucktard.

6:00 pm: The woman decides that it wold be nice if we go out to eat. I
really have no choice, but I decline. She says that I'm going anyway and
that she was going to invite step sister.

6:03 pm: She calls step sister and they agree that dinner would be nice.
They decide that we would meet at Chuck's House Of Oil And Meatstuff on
Bloomfield Avenue.

6:10 pm: I'm ordered to take a shower so I could presentable. I ask why
I need to look presentable, which was answered with another slap plus
another mention of the bible incident. Guess I dug myself a hole with
that momentary lapse of judgement.

6:30 pm: With hair slicked back and my most fancy of Hawaiian shirts and
non-matching shorts on, we are ready to leave. As we're walking down the
hallway, I wonder why the hotel hasn't noticed that it's missing a
couple employees, but it's probably one of those Jersey things.

7:05 pm: After getting lost for awhile, we pull into the parking lot of
Chuck's House Of Oil And Meatstuff. The bus is already there. I figure
this probably won't be much fun.

COMING NEXT: I could write about that roundabout the man built up the
road from us or continue this horror story. We'll see.

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

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